Nobody said it was easy
by AlexaCardew
Summary: Kurt Hummel had never meant for any of this to happen. Married by twenty-six, father by twenty-seven and divorced by twenty-eight. But when he meets Broadway's newest darling Blaine Anderson, it forces him to reevaluate whether loving his husband is enough when he's fallen in love with someone else.
1. Chapter 1

_**PART 1**_

_**CHAPTER 1**_

_**December 2021**_

"I met someone," Kurt confesses, his eyes glued firmly to the carpeted floor of his father's living room. He may be twenty-eight years old, but in the presence of his father Burt Hummel, he still feels like a child every time he knows he screwed up.

"Jesus Christ, kiddo. What do you mean you met someone?" Burt asks, and Kurt can tell that he's trying not to sound too judgmental. "You are married, Kurt."

Kurt looks down to where his golden wedding band used to be. He had taken it off, once he realized that he had fallen in love, fallen in love with someone who _wasn't_ his husband of two years. His husband hasn't even noticed its absence yet, and if that isn't telling about the state of their marriage, then what is?

"James and I, we are getting a divorce. But Dad, you have to know, I never meant for any of this to happen. Because, yes, James and I weren't in a good place, but I think I would have tried to stick it out if I hadn't fallen for someone else."

It breaks Kurt's heart to see the look of disappointment on his father's face and he quickly averts his eyes. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell his dad about this before the divorce was finalized.

"Kiddo, you lost me there. What the hell happened? What about Lexy? And does that guy at least feel the same way about you? "

Kurt sighs and lets his shoulders slump.

"That's kind of a long story, Dad." A beat. "And he doesn't know how I feel about him. He thinks we're just friends."

Burt points to the living room couch.

"Then you better start talking, because I ain't going anywhere."

_**October 2018**_

"Excuse me. Is that seat taken? Everywhere else is full."

Kurt looks up from where his head is buried in the script of an OFF Broadway play he managed to get cast in and nearly swoons. In front of his table is a tall young man with short and spiky brown hair, green eyes and British if Kurt is correct about the accent. The stranger is wearing tight, dark blue jeans and a grey polo shirt that makes his eyes pop against all odds. Usually he would tell whoever is bothering him to find another seat, but the intruder is handsome and polite and it's been a while since Kurt's been on a date, let alone in a relationship.

"Sure," he tells the young man and moves his messenger bag from the seat opposite his. "I'm Kurt," he offers his hand to his own surprise, because he really isn't a fan of touching people he doesn't know.

The young man grips his hand tightly, holding it a few seconds longer than strictly necessary.

"James. Nice to meet you Kurt. Can I get you a refill as a thank you for sharing your space."

James' eyes twinkle and Kurt catches him as he tries to subtly check Kurt out.

"You know what. Another mocha would be heavenly." After all, he has at least another half hour before he has to leave for rehearsal.

Kurt tries not to stare at James' butt as he walks to the counter to order their coffees but the tight jeans James is wearing makes it hard not to. Kurt blushes and quickly averts his eyes when James turns toward him, afraid to get caught.

A few minutes later, a steaming cup of fresh coffee is sitting in front of Kurt and when James doesn't say anything but pulls out a thick book about business regulations, he turns his attention back to the script in front of him. The story is kind of ridiculous, but as long as performing actually pays the bills, Kurt isn't going to be too picky about the productions who _are_ willing to cast him until he makes it.

Two years after his graduation from NYU with a BFA in musical theater, this is his third OFF Broadway production. The third that was willing to give him a role, and no matter how small the roles have been, it's better than being policeman number three or orphan number two with barely any lines like his first jobs out of college had been.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to disturb you, but can I ask what it is that you do?" James interrupts his musings a few minutes later.

Kurt looks up in surprise, a faint blush on his cheeks. He never knows how people are going to react when he tells them he is an actor. Because regardless of his successes so far, that's what he is, what he plans to do until he physically can't do it anymore.

"I'm an actor."

James' eyes grow wide.

"Wow! That's so cool. Anything I could have seen you in?"

It's not the reaction he's expected. Most people he's met have told him that a degree in theater was a waste of his parent's money and that he would have been better off studying something sensible like business or law.

"Well unless you are a closeted OFF Broadway fan, I don't think so." Spotting James' NYU sweatshirt tied to his book bag he adds. "And I've been in most NYU productions before I graduated two years ago."

"Well, then too bad that I only began my studies at NYU last fall," James tells him with a bright smile and while not an expert, Kurt's pretty sure that James is flirting with him.

"What about you? You're not from around here, right?" Kurt asks, script forgotten for the time being. This is already going so much better than his last date had.

"It's the accent that gave me away, right," James winks, _winks_at him. "I'm from Cambridge, dared to get my Bachelor degree from Oxford, and will hopefully finish my Masters in Business this year at NYU."

"Wow!" Kurt repeats James' earlier reaction. "You must be pretty smart if you went to Oxford."

"Or suicidal," James jokes. "That rivalry between Oxford and Cambridge isn't just a myth you know."

And Kurt giggles. He honest to God _giggles_ which is something he rarely does. And he's pretty sure he's smiling with all his teeth on display, which is even more unusual. Ten minutes of conversation and Kurt is smitten. Had he known that the NYU business department was hiding men like James he would have dropped by years ago.

"So listen Kurt. My next class is going to start soon but I'd like to talk to you again. Maybe over dinner some time?"

Kurt damns his complexion when he feels his cheeks heat up once more.

"I would like that very much."

Before James puts his book back into his bag they exchange phone numbers and James promises to call after his exam the next day.

Kurt's on cloud nine as he walks to rehearsal half an hour later, James' number stored in his phone. Because he can see himself marrying this man one day. He'd be crazy not to.


	2. Chapter 2

**_CHAPTER 2_**

_**December 2021**_

"James and I are getting divorced," Kurt tells Blaine over drinks at their favorite bar 'Rainbow Connection' on the Upper West Side after another successful rehearsal. Kurt likes it for the proximity to his and James' apartment, while Blaine loves that the staff lets him use the piano whenever he wants. Lexy is with his friends Santana and Brittany like every other Thursday, so Kurt doesn't have to rush home to relieve the sitter like most days after rehearsal.

Blaine nearly spits out his Manhattan earning him a glare from a passing waiter who Kurt assumes is new because otherwise he'd be fawning over Blaine like the rest of the stuff.

"You are what? You're not kidding?"

Kurt nods and tries to ignore how his heart beats faster whenever he is around Blaine Anderson, the twenty-four year old musical prodigy who wrote the lyrics and score to 'Ace of Spades', the musical Kurt is currently in rehearsals for. They'd met at Kurt's audition, when Kurt had still thought Blaine was just a piano player hired for the auditions and didn't know that Blaine was called the new Sondheim by Broadway aficionados.

Blaine's a few inches shorter than Kurt, with ridiculously curly hair and unbelievably long eyelashes. Dressed in his usual ensemble of tight dark slacks, a button down that brings out the color of his eyes and a colorful bow tie, Kurt has a difficult time keeping his hands to himself.

"I think the honeymoon period was over before we even returned from our honeymoon," Kurt admits, because somehow it's gotten to the point where he tells Blaine everything. Well everything but those pesky little feelings that just won't go away. "And once he got that job and started traveling so much, things have pretty much been going downhill ever since."

"So did you _just_ decide this or have you spoken to James about it?" Blaine asks after he returns from the bar with two shots of Tequila.

"We did when he was home last week. Didn't seem surprised when I brought it up. Apparently he'd been feeling the same way but didn't want to divorce me while Lexy was still so young and he felt indebted to me."

"Because of your green card marriage," Blaine teases him gently, and Kurt's heart skips a beat.

"It wasn't a green card marriage," Kurt protests, because it hadn't been.

Sure, the expiration date on James' student visa had expedited the process of them getting married, but it had been Kurt who had wanted James to stay in New York with him. So when James had proposed after they had dated for seven months and the end of the semester was only weeks away, Kurt hadn't hesitated before saying yes.

"So what happened? I only met him once, but I didn't get the feeling that you were having problems.

"We didn't see each other enough to fight. When I introduced you to James he came home for the first time in six weeks. Lexy had no idea who he was at first. And, I, I didn't want my daughter to be afraid of her father because she didn't see him enough to recognize him."

Those are all good reasons and Kurt has thought long and hard whether he is making the right decision after his talk with his father.

"As long as you are happy," Blaine tells him sincerely and Kurt's treacherous heart skips another beat. "And whatever you need you can count on me."

_I love you._Is what Kurt wants to tell Blaine. "Thank you, you're such a good friend," is what he goes with instead.

_**April 2019**_

James is on the couch, in NYU sweat pants and an old Oxford T-shirt, when Kurt lets himself in with the key James had given him a few weeks ago. An empty carton of chocolate flavored ice cream sits on the coffee table in front of him and Kurt knows instantly that James didn't get good news.

"What did they say?" he asks nonetheless, dropping his keys into the bowl James keeps next to the front door. Fortunately, his boyfriend's roommate Francois, a business student from France, hadn't minded when James had given Kurt a key.

"I finally got to talk to an immigration officer today and she told me that the only way I'm going to get a work visa is if I can find a company willing to hire me."

Kurt deposits the empty ice cream box in the trashcan before joining James on the couch. He's itching to pull his boyfriend into his arms, but experience has taught him not to touch James when he's upset.

"Oh," he says, because there goes his last hope that James will be able to stay in New York after graduation.

James had sent out nearly fifty résumés over the past three weeks and the replies had all been the same. The companies were interested in meeting with James once he obtained a work visa.

"Yeah," James replies morosely, but Kurt breathes out a sigh of relief when James intertwines their fingers.

"So there's really nothing else you can try?"

"Unless I get married, there's no way I can stay here. You interested in marrying me?" James jokes – at least Kurt thinks he is joking.

"Yes," he replies though, because he is pretty sure that James is his soulmate and once you've found your soulmate something as stupid as citizenship shouldn't stand in the way of love.

James sits up straighter on the couch, a strange look on his face.

"Are you serious, love? Please don't joke about something like that."

They've been dating seven months, so yes it's soon. His dad would probably say too soon. But, he loves James and James loves him. There's no reason why they shouldn't get married.

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's get married."

James finally pulls him into his arms and kisses him deeply and Kurt relaxes into his boyfriend's strong arms. As long as they are in this together, nothing will tear them apart, Kurt is certain of it.

"Let me take you out. Give you a proper proposal and a ring," James whispers into Kurt's ear after ending the kiss and Kurt's sure that he's never been this happy before.

* * *

><p>They agree to get married in England after James' graduation to avoid problems with immigration and potential questioning of the validity of their marriage. James' parents, who are quite wealthy as James admits, pay for Burt and Carole's flight to London and while Kurt is certain that his dad isn't happy about his shotgun wedding, luckily all he says is that Kurt is an adult and old enough to make his own decisions.<p>

The wedding happens in early June, two weeks after James finishes his studies at NYU and a week after Kurt gets the long awaited call letting him know that he was cast in the chorus of the 'The Book of Mormon' revival on Broadway, where he would also get to understudy for one of the supporting roles. They rent a little cottage outside of London, and it's the exact opposite of all the weddings he had planned since he was a child and married and divorced his Power Rangers almost daily. James's brother Billy stands up for Kurt's fiancé, highlighting Kurt's stepbrother's absence, while his father does the same for him. But life is good. It may be different than what Kurt thought it would be like, but it's good. He's happy. Afterward they have dinner reservations at an expensive restaurant near Covent Garden, before he and James head up to Scotland for their honeymoon.

Once they return to New York a married couple, James gets hired by an investment firm with dealings in China, and they celebrate his husband's new job, by moving into a bigger two bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side. Kurt uses the month before rehearsals start to decorate the apartment, scouring the flea markets for unique pieces, and making sure the movers are careful with the furniture he and James are bringing from their old places. At night, when James finally returns from work they cuddle up together on the couch, watching obscure foreign language films that Kurt will never enjoy as much as his husband, but will always watch him because that's what's love is about. And maybe one day, he'll finally get his husband to watch Kurt's favorite reality TV shows with him.

At the end of July, the apartment finally decorated to both their likings, James flies out to China for the first time. Kurt drops him off at the airport, sending his husband on his way with a movie worthy kiss, before meeting up with Santana and Brittany for drinks. It's his last free weekend before rehearsal is set to start, and Kurt intends to take advantage of it.

Sunday, he nurses his hangover while Skyping with James, before heading out for a run in Central Park to clear his head. Even though his head is still pounding after his run, the smile stays on his face, because come tomorrow, Kurt Hummel will finally be on Broadway.

Of course, it's when the universe decides that life is too good for him. Kurt's just coming out of his second rehearsal for 'The Book of Mormon' when Carole calls him in tears.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry, but your dad, he's had another heart attack."

Kurt stops in the middle of 5th Avenue, getting jostled by other passersby and street map carrying tourists, but all he can hear are the words 'your dad had another heart attack' on loop.

"How bad is it?"

Kurt knows there's no way he can fly to Lima before the weekend, not during his first week of rehearsal, and what's worse, he won't even get a hug from James once he gets home, because his husband is in Beijing.

"He's conscious, but the blockage is worse than the last time. They are going to insert a stent which hopefully will prevent future episodes," Carole explains, as Kurt tries to flag down a cab. There's no way he is going to brave the subway right now, risking the loss of his signal, not when Carole is the only one who knows what's going on.

"How are you doing?"

Their family has been through a lot. Kurt had lost his mother when he was only eight years old, but his stepmother Carole had it even worse. Carole lost her husband to a drug overdose leaving her with an infant and years later, Kurt's first year of college, his stepmother lost her son to a drunk driving accident after a college party. It's only the three of them theses days, and the thought of losing his father as well makes him sick to his stomach. Trying to remember the breathing exercises from his Yoga class, Kurt forces himself to take deep breaths as he listens to Carole pretend to be okay.

"I just hate hospitals, we all do," Carole admits a few minutes later and Kurt wants nothing more than get on the next plane and give his stepmother a hug and his dad a lecture about sticking to his diet.

"I'll fly out Friday after rehearsal and I'll keep my phone on. I don't care if I get into trouble but I need to know if something happens."

"I know I won't convince you that it's not necessary because the doctors have it under control, so please let me know when your plane gets in so I can pick you up from the airport."

Kurt wants to tell her that it's not necessary to pick him up from the airport, but they are stubborn, all three of them, and so he promises to let Carole know once he's booked his flight.

Back at the apartment he opens Skype and calls James but his husband is either gone or too busy to answer. So Kurt sends him a message instead, telling him about Carole's phone call and asking if it wouldn't be possible for him to come home a few days earlier.

It's not like Kurt doesn't have any other friends, but two of his best friends, Rachel Berry and Mercedes Jones, are still angry because they weren't invited to the wedding even after Kurt had explained that no one but their parents had been invited, and his former room mate Santana Lopez and her dancer girlfriend Brittany Pierce are on tour with 'A chorus line'.

After their high school graduation, Rachel, Santana, Brittany and Kurt had moved to New York. He and Rachel started attending NYU for musical theater, while Brittany took dance classes all around the city. The only one without a plan, had been Santana, but after she promised to help pay the rent, he and Rachel had let her move in with them. After a string of commercials ranging from female hygiene products to a PSA about STI's Santana had struck gold, and had been cast in the country's longest running soap opera as 'Sophia Alvarez', the illegitimate daughter of multi billionaire Raul Sanchez. They had made fun of it at first, but these days, Santana Lopez was a household name, and she could afford to take time off from work to follow her longtime girlfriend on tour.

Rachel is on tour as well, with a revival of 'Spring Awakening', and Mercedes lives in Los Angeles. It's now that he needs someone to hold him the most that his friends are unavailable and his husband just wrote back that he has to entertain clients and can't fly back home earlier.

Life sucks.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

_**December 2021**_

"Crisis averted. Lexy dropped Dumbo and stopped crying once I gave him back to her. But, Kurt, that thing is filthy. Are you sure she's _your _daughter."

Burt sits back down next to Kurt after taking care of his granddaughter.

"Ha ha, very funny, Dad," Kurt replies before he gives his father a grateful smile because being a de facto single father is hard and even harder when you realized the moment your child was born, that you were nowhere near ready to be a parent.

He's never told anyone but James why he pushed so hard for a child so soon after the wedding, but with the way Burt had looked at him when Kurt told him, he assumed that his father had guessed his reason. After all, his father had been the most vocal against Kurt's baby idea.

Burt wraps an arm around him and Kurt leans into the embrace. Even though he's taller than his dad, he leans his cheek against the familiar flannel covered shoulders, inhaling the smell of motor oil that never seems to leave his dad even on days when he isn't working in his auto repair shop. His father's hugs are the best and Kurt'll never be too old for them.

"So you were saying before Lexy decided to demonstrate her lungs' capacity," Kurt prompts, because while he is certain he made up his mind, he highly values his father's advice.

"I'm not telling you what you should or shouldn't do, Kurt, just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons if you're going to go through with it. Don't end your marriage for a man who may never return your feelings. End it if you are certain that it's not working between you and James anymore. And most importantly, think about what's best for Lexy."

"She's still young, Dad, she'll adapt. Don't you think I should do what's best for me?"

Burt sighs and shakes his head. The pair of them, on the couch, no one would ever guess they are father and son. Burt, balding, broad and always in flannel shirts, trucker boots and blue jeans and Kurt, tall, lean and pale, and usually in tight skinny jeans, shirts with intricate patterns and designer boots. After becoming a father, he'd started to dress down a bit because Lexy didn't care if she spit up on a designer shirt or a t-shirt from Wallmart, but he and his dad still look like they have nothing in common. And they don't, apart from the love they have for each other.

"I told you this when you insisted you needed to have a baby right this moment. Once you are a parent, your kids have to come first. So think about what it would mean for her growing up whether you get divorced or stay with James."

Kurt looks over to the baby monitor. For now, his eighteen months old daughter sleeps peacefully, but his little angel can also be a real nightmare.

"I love her, I really do, but some days, I wish I would have listened to you, or that Brittany had never offered. Does that make me a horrible father?"

"It makes you human. After your mother died, I wished I had died instead. Because I didn't think I could do it alone. Raising you had been your mother's job and so I wished I had died instead so I wouldn't have to take over."

"But you did great in the end!" Kurt assures his father because he had. They had had their difficulties and misunderstandings but in the end, his dad had always come through for him.

"Thanks kiddo, but so will you, whether it's with James, on your own or with someone new. Lexy is such a happy kid and that tells me everything I need to know about you as a dad.

They hug once more, a full body hug, before Kurt finishes his glass of white wine and says goodnight to his dad and Carole who he is certain has been eavesdropping from the kitchen. Upstairs, he changes into his PJs in the bathroom before he tiptoes into his old bedroom and climbs into bed next to his sleeping daughter. With James gone most of the time, it's become a habit, Lexy sleeping in his bed with him. Careful not to wake her again, he drops a kiss on her forehead and runs a hand through her soft blonde hair before he rearranges the blankets around them.

_**August 2019**_

"I want to have a baby," Kurt ambushes James when he walks through the door three days after Kurt returned from Lima. His dad is still in the hospital, but with "The Book of Mormon" rehearsals, Kurt didn't have a choice but fly back to New York Sunday night.

James laughs, drops his suitcase and pulls Kurt into his arms.

"Shouldn't I get a kiss first," he teases, missing the serious look on Kurt's face. "And if this is some kind of role play fantasy, let me take a nap and shower first. I've spent most of the last two days on airplanes."

Kurt pulls back. He isn't sure whether he should be hurt or angry.

"I wasn't joking. I want to have a baby," Kurt repeats.

James lets go off him and sinks into the couch Kurt had picked for their new apartment.

"Why?" his husband asks surprisingly calmly. "You are only twenty-five, you're finally going to be on Broadway, you know my stance on children and we've only been married seven weeks."

"My dad had a second heart attack," Kurt states simply.

"So?" James prompts.

"So, I'm the only one who can give my dad a grandchild now that Finn's…" Kurt swallows and doesn't finish the sentence. He doesn't have to, he's told James all about his stepbrother on their fourth date.

"Kurt, the doctors said he is fine. You told me so yourself," James interrupts his pity party.

"He is fine for now," Kurt snaps though he doesn't mean to. It's not James' fault that he doesn't understand. Both James' parents are still alive as are his brother and sister. His husband even still has both sets of grandparents.

"But what if he dies before I can give him a grandchild? It took him a long time to come to terms with me being gay because he thought I would never be able to have a family. And when he discovered that I could have one that was the day when he finally became one hundred percent okay with it. So I'm going to give him his grandchild and I want you to be on my side. Think about it this way; if we have a child, no one will question whether we really got married for love."

Kurt knows he's backed his husband into a corner. Now that James got his job at a prestigious investment firm, his biggest fear is that immigration will come knocking and destroy everything he's worked hard for to achieve.

"If we had a baby, things wouldn't change Kurt. My boss told me that if I keep up the good work in China, I'm looking at a promotion next year, a promotion I intend to get. So if you are ready to give up on your career, which would be a shame because you're so talented, by all means let's have a baby if you can find a couple willing to let us adopt.

Logistics. Kurt _hates_ logistics. Hates that he has to think about logistics because he wants to have a child. Hates that it will probably take them years before they can adopt when there are so many kids out there who could use a family.

* * *

><p>"…it just sucks," Kurt finishes his rant and downs the rest of his Margarita. It's a Santana Lopez mix, bound to get him drunk in record time.<p>

James has left for Shanghai a few hours ago and he's received another letter from an adoption agency telling him he and his husband should reapply in a few years when they are more settled. So getting shit faced is on top of his list.

"Do you want to borrow my tummy for the baby?" Brittany asks, her injured ankle propped up on a pillow. It's a complicated break, forcing her to take a break from dancing for at least six months and cutting her engagement with 'A Chorus Line' short.

"San is going back to work soon, and maybe I wouldn't be so bored with a baby growing in my tummy," his friend continues, while Santana looks at Brittany like she's lost her mind.

"Britt Britt, you shouldn't offer to be Kurt's surrogate unless you really mean it. That's a lot of responsibility, because, you know, you'd actually have a baby."

Brittany shakes her head stubbornly.

"I'm not stupid Santana. I know that. But Kurt wants to have a baby and I can help him have one. Isn't that what friends are for?"

Kurt's certain that having a baby for someone else goes beyond the usual friendship requirement, but is touched that Brittany sees it this way. Then he remembers something from high school and bursts out laughing.

"What?" Santana demands.

Kurt clutches his side, laughing even harder.

"I just," he wheezes, "I just remembered when I pretended to be straight and Britt was my girlfriend. My dad walked in on us on the couch and told us to use protection."

Santana and Brittany just stare at him blankly.

"I don't get it. What's so funny about that?" Santana asks, now looking at him like it's Kurt who's lost his mind.

"I told my dad, after Britt had left, that he didn't have to worry about me ever knocking her up. Don't you see the irony there?" Kurt wipes a few stray tears from his cheeks and takes a deep breath.

Santana shrugs. "Not really. It's not like you're going to knock her up for real."

Kurt realizes belatedly that Santana's Margaritas probably have something to do with how funny he finds everything and that he and Brittany shouldn't make a decision like this while intoxicated.

Still, when he asks her about it the next morning, after throwing up and swallowing two aspirin, Brittany doesn't change her mind.

* * *

><p>Two visits with a lawyer, another long talk with James and a first visit to the doctor later, Kurt is sitting in a small room at the fertility clinic, staring at the empty cup the nurse had handed him. He knows what he has to do, and it really shouldn't be this hard; no pun intended. But Kurt's never been good at separating sex from love and pornography had turned him off just as much as straight sex. And having a baby shouldn't happen like this. Alone in a rather cold room with magazines that have the reverse effect on him. Ideally, James would be here with him, would joke about being Kurt's personal centerfold and as long as Kurt would only look but not touch he would give him a show. He'd be long done by now instead of still staring at the cup in his hand and wondering if this is worth it.<p>

Eventually, he has to resort to something he hasn't since he and James had gotten together; fantasize about Thor saving Kurt from his evil brother with only his hammer by his side after unfortunately losing his clothes in a fire.

Fortunately, the nurse doesn't comment when Kurt finally reemerges forty-five minutes later, after having deposited his cup as discreetly as possible.

"So, we'll see you and Ms. Pierce tomorrow at two o'clock," the nurse reminds him before Kurt can leave and he gives her a court nod before fleeing the clinic.

Outside, once his cheeks aren't the color of an overripe tomato anymore, he sends a quick email to James, updating him on the process and silently cursing him for making Kurt go through it all on his own. But James had warned him, so Kurt can't really complain out loud.

* * *

><p>Three weeks later, Brittany proudly informs him that she is late, and while Kurt normally never wants to hear about his female friends' bodily functions, this time he grabs Brittany and jumps up and down with her, screaming like crazy.<p>

"Oh my God, oh my fucking God! We did it Britt, I'm going to have a baby. My dad is going to be so happy."

* * *

><p>"You are what?! Jesus, Kurt, are you trying to give me another heart attack?" Burt yells when Kurt tells him about Brittany's pregnancy.<p>

His dad is back home, but confined to the couch until he gets the all clear from the doctor and Kurt can tell that he isn't happy about it.

"I thought you'd be happy. You always wanted grandchildren," Kurt mumbles, because this conversation isn't going the way he thought it would.

His dad's expression softens. "Of course I do, kiddo, but this seems rushed. You've only been married two months and the last time your cousin brought her baby to a family reunion you said kids are nothing but little monsters."

"In my defense, her son spilt tomato sauce on my Marc Jacobs shirt."

Burt rolls his eyes. "Kiddo, you think it's going to be different when you have a kid? Think again. Your kid's not going to care what you are wearing when it reaches for you, hands covered in food, dirt or paint."

Kurt huffs. "We're talking about my child, Dad. I'm certain that no child of mine would ever do that to haute couture."

His dad starts laughing, a full belly laugh that doesn't seem to stop. Kurt crosses his arms in front of his chest. He didn't come all the way to Lima to be mocked and be told he's made a mistake.

"Sorry, kiddo. But you know how I always tell you what a neat kid you were." Kurt nods. "Well, that doesn't change the fact that before age two you were just a typical baby boy."

His dad plucks a tissue from the box next to his meds and wipes the tears from his eyes. Carole comes into the living room that moment, carrying two steaming mugs of warm milk.

"I'm not going to ask, just tell me later," she tells Burt, before handing the second mug to Kurt.

"No stay," Kurt stops her retreat to the kitchen. "This concerns you too, because this time next year you're both going to be … grandparents."

"That's," Carole shares a look with his dad, "ah, wonderful. Congratulations. What a surprise! But what about your job, honey? I thought it's a dream come true."

Kurt tries not to show how much their lack of enthusiasm is hurting him and plasters on a smile.

"I'll be able to finish my contract before the baby is due and this doesn't mean that I'm giving up on my dreams. I'll just have to put them on hold for a bit."

His dad and Carole share yet another look and Kurt fights back the tears threatening to escape, because this isn't supposed to happen, they're supposed to be happy.

Finally his dad speaks again. " You need to understand one thing, kiddo. I'm going to love this baby very much, but I still wish you wouldn't have rushed into it. I wish you would have waited for the right … time."

_The right reason, _Kurt surmises. He excuses himself and nearly runs outside, because inside it had suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in on him. Standing on his parents' well kept front lawn, Kurt is tempted to kick over the trashcan, because why did his dad have to make him feel like he made the biggest mistake of his life? He can't very well tell Brittany, who's nine weeks pregnant already, that he changed his mind.

No, what's done is done and with time they would all be happy about it. They just had to.


	4. Chapter 4 - Part 1

_**Chapter 4 – Part 1**_

_**January 2022**_

It's tech week and rehearsal is running late. Kurt curses out loud when his call to Rachel is sent straight to voice mail. Any other day it wouldn't be a problem if rehearsal didn't finish on time, but today, his sitter, Katie, has an exam and unless he can find someone to take care of his daughter for an hour or two, Katie will have to drop her off at the theater.

Unfortunately, Santana and Brittany are in L.A and Rachel, while in New York, is unreachable. Kurt takes a deep breath before he calls James' number. His soon to be ex-husband is in New York for once, but Kurt knows chances are slim, that he'll be able to leave the office to pick up their daughter.

"Kurt?" James answers the phone, sounding stressed.

"Yeah, it's me. Listen, I know you're at work and probably busy, but rehearsal is running late and Katie's got an exam in an hour. Could you pick up Lexy?"

On James' side he tells someone, probably his secretary Linda, that he'll be right in.

"I'm really sorry Kurt, but I'm meeting with a new client in a few minutes. I could get her after, though, around seven."

Kurt supposes it's better than nothing, because they've barely started the second act and most certainly won't finish any time soon. He'll just have to find someone at the theater to watch his daughter in the meantime.

"Thanks, James, I appreciate it. I'll text you the address of the theater."

"Great. I need to run now, but I'm going to give you a call once I get there."

When Kurt hangs up the phone, half the cast is glaring at him and he is certain that the only reason the director hasn't yelled at him yet for constantly being on the phone during rehearsals is because Nick DuVal is a friend of Blaine's and aware of Kurt's situation.

"Sorry about that. Unfortunately my sitter can't stay any longer and my husband is at work."

"Mr. Hummel," the nasal voice of their producer, Dakota Stanley causes Kurt to turn his head. "Do you need to go home, because I would like to remind you of the talk we had about your commitment to the show before I hired you."

Kurt cringes and shakes his head. "No, Mr. Stanley. My babysitter will bring my daughter here and I'm…"

"And I offered to watch her until Kurt's done rehearsing," Blaine interrupts and saves Kurt from having to admit that he didn't know who'd watch Lexy once she got to the theater.

"Very well, carry on then," Mr. Stanley orders. "Time is money!"

"Thanks," Kurt whispers as Nick claps and calls the group to order. "Please, take my phone. Katie said she'll call once she gets here."

"Kurt!" Nick calls impatiently and Kurt rushes back on stage to avoid getting murdered by his co-stars for further delaying them.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Kurt nearly twists his ankle when a shout of "Daddy!" distracts him in the middle of a rather complicated dance move. Blaine is walking down the main aisle, Lexy on one arm and Kurt's diaper bag slung over the other. His daughter is waving at him enthusiastically, while Blaine seems to be trying to keep her quiet.<p>

"Why don't we all take five," Nick instructs and Kurt gives him a grateful smile before quickly jumping off the stage and hurrying over to Blaine and Lexy.

"Hey Sweetie," Kurt presses a kiss against her cold cheek and smoothes her short blond hair after taking off her hat. "Did you have fun with Katie?"

Lexy squirms in Blaine's arms and reaches for him.

"Katie, doll," she babbles excitedly as Kurt takes her from Blaine for a moment. He cuddles her for a few minutes until break is over and he has to hand his daughter back to Blaine.

"Listen Sweetheart. Daddy has to go back to work for a bit, but Blaine is going to sit with you. Promise you'll be good," he tells Lexy and accepts a wet kiss to his cheek in return.

Back on stage, it's harder to concentrate and keep his eyes off Blaine who is bouncing Lexy on his lap and pointing out to her what's happening on stage. They look good together, but Kurt forces himself to pull it together when he messes up the same dance move for the third time.

* * *

><p>It's already after seven when Nick allows them to take another break and it fortunately coincides with James arriving at the theater. Blaine follows Kurt into the lobby, carrying his diaper bag while Kurt holds an already sleepy Lexy in his arms. When she spots James, she waves shyly before burying her head into Kurt's neck.<p>

"You still have your key right?" Kurt greets his ex before removing Lexy's hands from his shirt and handing her over to James.

James had moved out three weeks ago, after returning from his first trip to China of the year. Not that it makes much of a difference with how little James had been at home before. Kurt's just grateful that James wasn't interested in the apartment he had picked and decorated because the last thing his daughter needs in a time like this is to be uprooted from her home as well.

"Yeah, I have it," James replies, shifting Lexy in his arms so he can put the diaper bag over his other arm.

Kurt zips Lexy's purple coat and puts on her light grey gloves. "Sweetie," he tells her. "Daddy James will give you your bath tonight, okay. I'll try to get home in time to tuck you in. Love you."

He gives her a kiss and pulls her dark blue hat back over her ears. It's surprisingly warm for early January, but he really can't afford having to stay home right now because his daughter caught a cold. Not when they are heading up to Boston in a week for their first out of town preview.

"You know when you're going to be home?" James asks.

"Around nine, I guess." Kurt looks to Blaine who nods, reminding Kurt of his manners.

"Oh Blaine, you remember James."

The man he is madly in love with shakes hands with the man he used to be in love with. There's something off about the way James looks at Blaine, but Kurt puts it down to the awkwardness of the situation, because it's obvious that Blaine knows about the state of their marriage.

"Yes, Blaine, of course. Thanks for your help, mate."

James finally releases Blaine's hand who tries to subtly shake it out. Kurt turns to James after assuring himself the Blaine is all right.

"She's already eaten, so just give her a bath, make her a bottle and put her to bed. And don't forget about…"

"Dumbo," James cuts him off. "Kurt, I'm her father too. You don't have to treat me like a first time babysitter. I know I haven't been around a lot, but I know how to take care of Alexandra."

"Sorry, I know you do," Kurt apologizes. He'd never leave her with someone he doesn't trust and even though they are getting divorced, Kurt has never doubted James' trustworthiness.

"Okay, see you later. Blaine, nice seeing you again."

Kurt tries not to jump out of his skin when Blaine squeezes his shoulders as James walks out of the theater with their daughter.

"I don't know how you're doing this, raising her on your own."

"Well, as you've heard, I've had plenty of experience even with James in the picture," Kurt replies bitterly, because even though James had made his stance on children clear from the start, he'd always, secretly hoped that his husband would come around once the baby was born and would take an active interest in their child.

_**June 2020**_

It's close to midnight on Friday, June 12th, when Kurt gets a call from a frantic Santana. He and James are snuggled up on the couch watching a romantic comedy, taking advantage of the fact that James is actually in New York instead of somewhere in China helping his boss get even richer.

"Brittany's water just broke," Santana yells into the phone, nearly rupturing his eardrum.

"Oh, okay," Kurt answers in a daze, because they were supposed to have another two weeks. But this is better, because James will be back in China in a week and would probably have missed the birth of their daughter otherwise.

"Have you called a cab yet? Do you have your bag?" he continues more calmly.

"Of course I have," Santana snarls. "Meet us at Mount Sinai. Dr. Sanders knows we are on our way."

"Everything okay?" James asks when Kurt hangs up the phone and jumps up from the couch, his eyes darting to the bowl next to the door to make sure their keys are where they are supposed to be.

"Brittany went into labor. Do you think you could use a company car to get us to the hospital," Kurt questions James, eyeing the brand new car seat next to the stroller Burt and Carole had bought for them. Even though they don't own a car, Kurt had insisted they get a car seat, because there's no way he'll try to take a stroller onto the subway unless he absolutely has to.

"Sure, I'll call the company right away," James replies and picks up his own cell phone from the coffee table.

While James calls for a car, Kurt dashes into the bedroom and picks up his own bag filled with diapers and baby clothes. His camera sits on the nightstand and Kurt quickly throws it in as well, because the arrival of his daughter should be documented with something producing better quality pictures than a cell phone camera.

"Five minutes," James informs him when Kurt returns from the bedroom bag in hand.

Even though it's late, it's still in the seventies outside so Kurt only grabs a light jacket before pulling on a comfortable pair of sneakers. He'd already dressed down for a night in with his husband - both he and James are in shorts and t-shirts – so at least he won't feel overdressed while waiting for the birth of their as of yet unnamed daughter. Kurt had looked through the baby books and given James veto rights, but in the end, he'd decided that he couldn't make a decision until he met the future carrier of the chosen name.

Outside, in front of their Upper West Side apartment, a black town car is waiting for them and Kurt hands his bag and the car seat to the driver who puts them into the trunk while he and James buckle their seat belts.

"I have to call my parents," Kurt remembers once the car starts moving. "Do you want to send your parents a text message? They should be up soon."

While James complies, Kurt pulls up his dad's contact on his phone.

"Hello?" comes the sleepy reply and Kurt feels bad for having woken his dad, but he's certain his dad would be furious if Kurt hadn't called the minute he heard the news himself.

"Dad, we're on our way to the hospital. Brittany's in labor."

"That's great kiddo. I'll try to get us seats on the first flight out."

"Thanks Dad. I'll text you the address of the hospital. Just let me know when you get here."

"Will do. Love you, Kurt. And give my regards to Brittany and Santana. And that husband of yours if he's in town."

Kurt suppresses a sigh, because his dad dislikes James' travels about as much as Kurt does and usually doesn't hide how he feels about the traveling and as a result James.

"James is with me. I'll tell him you said hi," he replies diplomatically even though he is sure his husband is aware of Burt's animosity toward him.

Luckily, there isn't much traffic this time of night and they arrive at the hospital quickly. Kurt takes the bag while James picks up the car seat and together they walk up the reception area on the ground floor.

"Hi, I'm looking for Brittany Pierce. She's having a baby," he tells the nurse manning the station.

"And you are?" the bored looking woman replies.

"We're the fathers," Kurt beams proudly. He gets a sneer in return and any other day he would have given the woman a piece of his mind, but tonight he lets it slide.

"Just tell me where we can find her."

The nurse types Brittany's name into the computer, her long fake nails making a clacking sound on the keyboard.

"Third floor, section C, room 3245."

"Thank you," Kurt tells her, a friendly smile on his face because not even an ignorant homophobe will be able to ruin his night.

After getting turned around twice, Kurt and James finally arrive in front of room 3245. Inside, Dr. Sanders, Brittany's OB/GYN, who Kurt met during previous ultrasound appointments, is talking to Brittany and Santana. Brittany is sitting up on a hospital bed, an IV connected to her arm, while Santana has taken up residence on the chair next to the bed.

"And here are the fathers to be," Dr. Sanders greets them warmly. "As I was just telling Ms. Lopez and Ms. Pierce, it's probably going to be a few more hours. Ms. Pierce's water has indeed broken, but she isn't dilated enough to go into actual labor. I have given her something for the pain and an anesthesiologist will administer Ms. Pierce's epidural anesthesia when the time comes."

Kurt nods and plops down on the chair on Brittany's other side while James excuses himself to get coffee for him, Kurt and Santana. They had talked about Brittany's options in advance and while Brittany had decided against a C-section in the end, they had all agreed that she shouldn't have to go through the pain of childbirth for someone else's baby.

"How are you feeling?" he asks his friend once Dr. Sanders has left.

"Better now that the doctor's given me something," Brittany admits, but there's a smile on her face. At least one of them has never regretted their decision, Kurt thinks, as he tries not to panic, because now that he's at the hospital about to become a father, it really hits him. He's about to become a father and he has no clue what he's doing. Sure he'd taken a few classes, had learned how to diaper a doll and other useful information on childcare, but he feels woefully unprepared and already in over his head. He isn't the most patient person in the world, and he's afraid how he will react if the baby never stops crying or never listens to him in general. And there's James' constant traveling, meaning that Kurt will be the only one home to get up during the night, day after day after day after day.

"Are _you _okay?" Santana asks, displaying once more her apparent mind reading abilities.

"Just a bit nervous."

There's no reason to worry her after all. Because there isn't anything she or Brittany could do to change the situation. They have an iron clad contract, stripping Brittany of all legal rights to the baby, even though Kurt wants Brittany to be part of his daughter's life. Just as her fun aunt, not as her mother. Because while Kurt suddenly feels nowhere near ready for a baby, Brittany and Santana are even less equipped to care for an infant. They both value their independence too much, and Brittany already has another tour lined up in a few weeks. No, Kurt helped create this baby and now he has to go home with it.

When James returns with their coffees, Kurt swallows his down quickly, scalding his tongue, but the pain in his mouth at least gets him out of his funk. On James' iPad they watch old episodes of 'Friends' while they wait, distracting Brittany from her own labor with on screen Rachel's misfortunes.

"At least I managed to score you a single," Santana comments as yet another pregnant couple leaves TV Rachel's hospital room to have a baby.

Fortunately, the nurses on their floor are huge fans of 'Temptation Mates', Santana's soap opera, and when Santana had wheeled Brittany in, had ushered the couple into a private room, to give them, well, privacy.

Three hours later, there aren't any closer to meeting the baby than they were when they arrived, but Dr. Sanders assures them that this isn't uncommon in first time mothers. At least, Brittany isn't in too much pain, and on the doctor's recommendation, they take her for a walk down the hall to hopefully speed things up.

Burt calls shortly after four to let Kurt know that he and Carole will arrive in New York around eight and when Kurt informs him about the non-development his dad just laughs.

"So she's just like you, keeping everyone waiting before she makes her grand entrance. You were early too, you know, and your mother and I were afraid we wouldn't make it to the hospital in time. But once we got there, it took you another ten hours to decide to meet us."

"Great," Kurt moans, because he's already tired as hell and having to stay up for another ten hours sounds like a special kind of hell. Especially, if the baby will be released to them quickly after the birth.

Back in Brittany's room another nurse is taking her vitals while a man Kurt assumes is the anesthesiologist puts a scary looking needle into Brittany's lower back.

He wakes up slumped into the chair around seven when Santana shakes him roughly. James is nowhere in sight, but Dr. Sanders has rejoined them and is coaching Brittany through a contraction.

"The baby's coming," Santana informs him and Kurt jumps out of his chair.

Santana returns to her place on the other side of Brittany's bed and takes her hand. There's no way Kurt is going anywhere near to where he could see what's happening, so he takes Britt's other hand and gives it an encouraging squeeze.

Fifteen minutes later, he's holding a squishy looking baby with blond hair and bright blue eyes wrapped in a blanket in his arms. His daughter is demonstrating her lungs' capacity, her head red from all the screaming she'd be doing since the moment she was born. But all he can do is stare at her in wonder and gently rock her in his arms in an attempt to calm her down. Santana has her fingers in her ears, as she watches over Brittany who'd fallen asleep quickly thanks to the meds administered through her IV, but Kurt doesn't mind the loud screaming as much as he would were it anyone else's child.

"Do you have a name for the birth certificate yet?" a nurse interrupts him and Kurt gives his daughter another once over.

"I think so, but I have to talk to my husband first. Do you know where he went?"

"He's sleeping in the waiting room. Why don't you talk to him, while I take this little cutie to the nursery to give your friends some peace and quiet."

Kurt reluctantly hands the baby over to the nurse before he leaves the room in search of James. Now that she's actually here, he still feels nervous as hell and unprepared for what's ahead, but there's no question that he already loves her very much.

He finds James asleep over a row of chairs in the waiting room and shakes him gently.

"Did she have it?" his husband mumbles sleepily and Kurt nods, a huge smile on his face.

"She's gorgeous. Blond hair and blue eyes like Brittany, but I think she has my nose."

James presses an off center kiss against Kurt's lips before he rubs his eyes.

"Did you name her?"

"Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first and take you to see her."

He leads his husband down the hallway to the nursery, where he presses his nose against the window, his eyes flying over the cribs until he spots the right one.

"There she is," he points their daughter out to James who follows his finger until he spots her as well.

"She looks squishy," James remarks, his brows furrowed, and Kurt holds back a cutting remark, because he'd thought the exact same thing when he'd first seen her.

"She's only twenty minutes old," he settles on instead of telling James what he really thinks about his comment.

"I suppose so. So what do you have in mind for a name, love?"

Kurt thinks it over one last time, but it's the best fit of all the names he had considered.

"Meet Alexandra Sophia Hummel-Patterson – if it's okay with you," he announces."

Sadly, James frowns.

"What's wrong? I thought you liked Alexandra and Sophia for a girl. And Alexandra was my mothers' middle name."

"The names are fine, Kurt. But a hyphenated name for a child sounds pretentious. And wouldn't it confuse people because we didn't hyphenate our last names."

Kurt's _not_ getting into a fight with his husband over their last name in front of their daughter's nursery. He's absolutely not. And it wouldn't change anything. They'd had that fight before. James had been strictly against it because his goal had always been to find a firm who dealt with China after studying International Business and Chinese in college and he was afraid he would get into trouble if business partners found out about his homosexuality. And a hyphenated last name was a sure fire way for them to find out, according to James. Kurt had argued that even straight couples sometimes hyphenated their last names these days, but James hadn't budged and only told him that Kurt could go ahead and change his name if he wanted, but he wouldn't. In the end, Kurt had also decided against it, because he didn't want to be the only Hummel-Patterson in the Hummel-Patterson household.

"Fine," he mumbles through clenched teeth before he flags down a passing nurse.

"Excuse me. Could you let nurse McKaine know that I have a name for my daughter's birth certificate?"

A few minutes later, baby girl Hummel-Patterson is replaced with Alexandra Sophia Hummel and Kurt gets to feed his baby for the first time, while James is getting coffee for them from the cafeteria.

"Hi Lexy," he whispers as blue eyes meet his. "I'm your daddy. And I'm going to love you very much."


	5. Chapter 4 - Part 2

_**Chapter 4 – Part 2**_

"Please stop crying," Kurt whispers as he tries to rock his screaming daughter back to sleep before she wakes James who has an early flight once more. "Or tell me what's wrong."

He's fed her, burped her and changed her diaper, told her a story and sung to her, but no matter what he tries, Lexy refuses to go back to sleep. It's been like this since they've taken her home from the hospital a week ago, and Kurt doesn't fault his husband who has to go to work every morning for sleeping with earplugs. He just wishes he wasn't the only one getting up every few hours trying to reason with a screaming baby. During the day, he sleeps when she does, as it's the only way to get any sleep at all. Household chores have fallen to the wayside because of it, but for once in his life Kurt doesn't give a damn about the dirty dishes in the sink or that the only clothes getting washed are his daughter's. His hair is unstyled, and his fabulous clothes have been replaced with t-shirts and gym shorts. It's no wonder that he and James haven't had sex since Lexy was born, Kurt muses.

Lexy lets out another blood curling scream and Kurt presses her closer to him, counting down the hours till Burt and Carole's return from Ohio. His parents had gone back to Lima after Lexy had been discharged from the hospital, but promised to come back and give Kurt a hand once James left for China.

Another round of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' and 'You are the Sunshine of my Life' finally does the trick and Kurt carefully carries Lexy back to the nursery Brittany and Santana had helped him paint in bright purple and dark grey once they'd discovered the sex of the baby. After a kiss to her cheek, he tiptoes into the bedroom, where he's surprised to discover that James isn't in bed anymore. The door to the bathroom opens just then and James steps out, clad in the suit Kurt had picked out the night before.

"What are you doing up?" Kurt asks quietly to avoid waking Lexy and crawls back into bed.

"With the way she was screaming, those," James points to the earplugs on the nightstand, "didn't help much. And I have to get up in an hour anyway, so no use going back to sleep now. Not all of us can be so lucky and get to sleep in."

"Sleep in," Kurt repeats incredulously. "If you count never sleeping more than three or four hours as sleeping in. And that's why I'm going back to sleep now because I have no time to fight with you over this."

"I don't want to fight, love, but I've told you more than once that you'd be on your own if you wanted to go through with your baby plans and that my job would come first. So don't be angry with me for doing exactly that."

Not wanting to admit that James has a point, Kurt rolls over and closes his eyes. Moments later, the bedroom door shuts quietly and Kurt finally lets the tears fall he'd suppressed when Lexy had kept him up all night once again.

* * *

><p>When Kurt wakes up a few hours later it's to the smell of coffee and for a moment Kurt is confused because he's certain James left soon after he fell asleep. But then he hears Carole and his dad talk softly to one another and remembers giving them a key to the apartment during their last visit.<p>

In the living room, his dad is on the couch, holding Lexy, who's awake and fortunately not screaming, like a football, while Carole is putting a plate of scrambled eggs and a basket of whole wheat bread on the dining room table.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Carole greets him and Kurt bends down to accept the kiss to his cheek. "You're just in time for breakfast, so sit down. I don't think your dad will let go of his granddaughter any time soon."

His dad doesn't even look up, so Kurt lets Carole push him onto a chair and fills his plate with Carole's famous pancakes and strawberry jam.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"When Burt and I got here around eight you were sound asleep and the little cutie over there was just waking up. She cried a bit at first, but your dad managed to calm her down before she could wake you. And honey, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like you could use your sleep."

"I do, so thanks for not waking me."

His dad joins them at the table then after putting Lexy in her crib and Kurt relaxes, _really_ relaxes for the first time in a week as he listens to his dad talk about his customers and Carole about her awful new boss.

After brunch, Kurt takes a shower while Carole changes Lexy's diaper and dresses her in a purple onesie from Rachel and light grey socks decorated with polka dots for her first trip to the park. It'd been raining the days after they'd taken Lexy home and just taking care of her at home had exhausted him so much that taking her outside hadn't even crossed his mind. But Burt and Carole's arrival in New York had brought with them the sun and warmth of the previous week. It short, it's the perfect day for Lexy's first trip outside.

When they are all dressed and ready to go, the diaper bag stored beneath the stroller, Kurt works his way through all the buckles until Lexy is secured in her brand new stroller. It's purple and grey, like Lexy's room and many of her clothes, and stylish in a way that Kurt had joked that it had been designed with him in mind.

Thankfully, their Upper West Side apartment is only three blocks away from Central Park, so they reach the park quickly and sit down on a bench shaded from the sun by a large oak tree close to Strawberry Fields.

"So how are you doing?" his dad asks when Carole excuses herself.

"I'm exhausted," Kurt admits, because he's never been good at lying to his father. "James pretty much moved to the office after we brought her home and she just won't stop screaming at night. And during the day I get nothing done because I'm so tired and usually try to get some sleep when she's asleep. I really wanted to clean up before you got here, but sleep seemed like the better choice."

"No one cares about that, kiddo. And you're doing okay. After all, she's fed, clothed and loved. And that's all she needs for now. And apparently fresh air," Burt adds teasingly as he points out Lexy's wide eyes following a squirrel scampering down a tree in her line of sight.

"And Kurt, you're not lacking in money, so just hire someone to take care of the apartment until things with Lexy settle down. Contrary to what you appear to think, you don't have to do it all on your own. There's nothing wrong with getting help every now and then. And your daughter needs you to stay sane. I'm sure one of your friends would love to look after her for a few hours to give you time to yourself. When you were born, I couldn't take time of work either, but I made sure to give your mother time to herself when I was home. And I remember her telling me that just being able to take a bubble bath every now and then without having to worry about you was enough to stop her from ripping your head off the next time you just wouldn't go to sleep."

Kurt doesn't remember much about his late mother, but he knows how much she loved him. It's hard to reconcile the woman in his mind with the woman his dad is telling him about, but it gives him hope for the future. That even though everything is hard right now and the difficulties seem to be insurmountable, it will be all right in the end. That he and Lexy and James will be okay as a family.

"Thanks Dad. And thanks for staying with me this week. I can really use this break."

Kurt turns toward his dad and wraps his arms around Burt's broad shoulders. It's how Carole finds them.

"Good talk?" she coos and hands Lexy the stuffed elephant that used to be Kurt's and had been washed and fixed up by Carole. "Did you drop Dumbo again? Yes, you did. Yes, you did."

Kurt smiles brightly as he observes Burt and Carole doting on their granddaughter. The only missing link in the idyllic family picture is James and Kurt prays to a god he doesn't believe in that one day he and James would be the amazing parents his own had been.

* * *

><p>When James returns from Beijing two weeks later, it's with a stack of gifts for Lexy; most of them too advanced for a three week old baby. Kurt kisses him deeply after he drops his suitcase until Lexy interrupts loudly. When he tries to hand her over to James, his husband picks up the fallen suitcase instead.<p>

"Maybe it's better if you hold her until she calms down. After two weeks gone, I'm practically a stranger to her."

With the way Lexy eyes James warily at first, his husband is probably right, but it would have been nice if James had at least tried to be the one to calm her down for once, Kurt thinks.

A few minutes later, James returns from their bedroom with two stuffed animals, a box of building blocks and a bright red toy car.

"I know she's a bit young for most of it, but I didn't want to return empty handed," James explains as he cautiously approaches their daughter.

Unfortunately, Lexy starts crying again the moment James gets close enough to touch her, and his husband recoils.

"I guess I'll better put them in her room," James calls out as he practically flees the room.

Kurt sinks down onto the couch and absentmindedly rubs Lexy's back until she stops wailing. He'll have to find a way for father and daughter to connect, because as long as James is actually afraid of her, he isn't any help to Kurt.

Operation make James and Lexy bond, sadly, doesn't go as planned. While James tries to help out more this time around – warming Lexy's bottles, putting her clothes into the washing machine and finding a cleaning woman to come by once a week – he still refuses to hold her or give her a bath, convinced she'll start screaming the moment he touches her. His fear isn't unfounded, because their daughter does start crying whenever James gets close, but it's no excuse in Kurt's opinion because she screams just as much when he's the one trying to get her back to sleep in the middle of the night.

Regrettably, there isn't anything Kurt can do about it other than forcing Lexy on James, which is an extreme he isn't willing to go to. Before he knows it, his husband boards another flight – three weeks in Hong Kong this time – leaving Kurt alone with their daughter once more.

* * *

><p>"Have you thought about joining some kind of club? I read this article in the paper about women who are doing gymnastics with their babies," Carole tells him over the phone when Kurt calls to complain about going stir crazy from staying home with his three months old all the time. He needs to be with grown ups who aren't living on his television screen.<p>

"I don't think gymnastics is my kind of thing and I've already looked into swimming lessons and they've told me that they'll take her once she's four months old. In the meantime, I just need to get out of the apartment."

"I'm sure you'll find something to keep you occupied," Carole reassures him before telling him that she has to take the cake she's baking for their elderly neighbor out of the oven.

After hanging up the phone, Kurt goes online, Lexy fortunately still asleep, and looks up baby groups meeting in his part of town. As he scrolls down the list Google provides him with he spots a sort of self-help group for single parents. Now, officially he isn't a single parent and doesn't deal with the same problems, but for the time being, he is his daughter's primary caregiver while his husband only sees her every other week. Because it would be embarrassing to get kicked out of a self-help group, Kurt emails the leader of the group first, explaining his situation, and his need to meet other grown ups before he goes mad.

Melissa, a thirty-four year old lawyer and single mother of a three year old and a six months year old emails him back the next day and invites him to coffee in a child friendly coffee shop uptown for the following Saturday. As most members of the group have jobs, they can only meet weekends, which isn't an issue for Kurt whose husband is financing his role as stay at home dad. Because it's what Kurt wants and because they can afford it. He may not like his husband's job very much, but at least it pays very well.

The next Saturday, Kurt dresses Lexy in dark blue leggings, black polka dot shoes, a blue and white striped dress and a light, grey jacket before buckling her into her stroller. It's a nice September day, not too hot anymore, but still warm enough for Kurt to leave early and walk the seven blocks uptown to the coffee shop where Melissa's group is meeting. Kurt immediately understands why the group likes the coffee shop because the right side corner is filled with toys and a bookcase full of children's literature.

"Kurt?" a tall woman with short black hair calls out when Kurt pushes his stroller into the coffee shop and he nods before approaching the table. Three more women in their thirties and a man in his early forties are with Melissa, either bouncing young kids on their laps or checking on the older ones playing in the corner.

"I'm Melissa and this is my son Connor," Melissa introduces herself and points into the stroller next to her chair. "Sarah is playing in the corner with Jim's daughter Julia and Meg's son Davis."

Kurt waves shyly and frees Lexy from her stroller prison. "Hi, I'm Kurt and this is Lexy. I don't know if Melissa told you anything about me but I just wanted to let you know grateful I am for being able to join you even though I'm not a real single parent."

Jim waves him off. "My wife got a job offer in Germany last year and it wasn't possible for me and Julia to come along. So technically, I'm not a 'real' single parent either."

"And to be honest," Melissa rejoins the conversation, "this isn't really a self-help group. I only named it a self-help group for single parents because I had too many people join in the beginning who were just looking for a free baby sitter or a place to dump their children while they went out to meet friends. None of my friends or coworkers had children, so I thought it would be a good idea to meet others who understood what I was going through."

"I know what you mean. All my friends are really focused on their careers right now and I," Kurt swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, "don't have any nieces or nephews Lexy's age either. I went to the park a lot during the summer, but she's too young to play with the other children on the playground and most of the people I met where only the kids' nannies."

"Well, you've come to the right place to let off steam," Meg, a plump redhead, assures him. "So why don't you hand over that little cutie and get yourself a coffee and some treat. You deserve it."

Kurt hands Lexy over to Meg before walking over to the counter to order a Pumpkin Spiced Latte and a chocolate muffin, giving himself an imaginary pat on the shoulder for finding the perfect group of people for this stage of his life.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, trust me I can't wait to meet your little girl, but I'm only in town for one night and I want to get drinks with my former Glee mates; you included. So tell your husband to watch your kid and come out with us girls," Mercedes instructs him when she calls to tell him the details of her flight.<p>

Mercedes Jones, his best friend from high school, had done well for herself. She'd moved to Los Angeles after graduating high school and had enrolled at UCLA while singing back up for an up and coming R&B artists. Nine years later, Mercedes had long surpassed up and coming R&B artists and was currently promoting her second album.

"Look Mercedes. James is in China, so can we meet after your interview instead? We could have brunch after you are done somewhere close to Rockefeller Center."

"Hell to the no," his best friend snarks, bringing back her favorite expression from high school. "If your hubby can't watch the kid, call a sitter. It's been three years since we've all been together and I don't want to wait another year for our high school reunion. I've already talked to Rachel, Santana and Brittany and they are all in. And, just to sweeten the deal, Rachel has promised to bring that new man of hers I know your dying to meet."

Sadly, Mercedes has a point. Rachel had been incredibly secretive about the new man in her life and Kurt's beyond curious at this point. To the point that he and Santana had placed a bet on it. Kurt had bet twenty bucks that Rachel was dating a tone deaf accountant, while Santana was certain that the new boyfriend was someone they'd met before and hadn't liked.

"But I've never left her with anyone before. Not even my parents." Or James he adds in his mind.

"She's five months old, Kurt. I'm sure she's going to survive being taken care of by someone else for a few hours. You meet us for drinks tonight and tomorrow I'm taking the two of you out for breakfast where she'll have my undivided attention. Do we have a deal?"

"Fine," Kurt sighs. He'll have to call Melissa for baby sitter recommendations as he doesn't have time to start interviewing people himself.

"I've used a classmate of my usual sitter before," Melissa tells him a few minutes later. "They are both studying early childhood development at NYU and she got along quite well with the kids. I can look up her name and number if you want."

"That would be great. Thanks, Melissa," Kurt replies as he searches for a piece of paper and a pen.

"And Kurt. I know it's hard to leave them in someone else's care. But you'll go back to work eventually, so you better get used to it. And once you're comfortable with the idea, get a sitter from the time to time and do something nice for yourself. It won't make you a bad parent."

"Thanks," Kurt repeats as he writes down the number for a Kathrin Winters, 21 and junior at NYU. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

><p>Kathrin, please call me Katie, Winters and Lexy hit it off the moment Kurt lets the college student into the apartment a few hours later. There's no crying involved when Katie picks her up and introduces herself and miraculously Katie stays dry when she gives Lexy her bath while Kurt dresses for drinks with the girls.<p>

"All right. You have my number, my friends' numbers and the number of the bar we're meeting at. The number of her doctor is on the fridge should anything happen, and you can call me any time. Usually her bottle and a story should do the trick, but if she won't fall asleep give me a call and I come back," Kurt instructs her shortly after seven, bundled up in a thick winter coat over stylish black skinny jeans, ankle boots, dark blue button down and black vest. To finish off his outfit, he wraps a thick dark blue woolen scarf around his neck before pressing a kiss to his daughter's chubby cheek.

"I've got this Mr. Hummel, I promise. So enjoy your night out, but give me a call if you miss her."

Kurt blushes, because he never thought he'd be one of those parents.

"Will do, but only if you call me Kurt. Mr. Hummel is my grandfather."

Katie nods and Kurt kisses his baby girl once more before allowing the younger girl to push him out of the apartment. Outside it's snowing lightly, but instead of flagging down a cab, Kurt heads down the block to the nearest subway station. He didn't think he'd ever miss the subway, but after five months of only leaving the apartment with a baby in tow, taking the train downtown makes him feel young and reminds him of what life as an aspiring artist used to be like.

* * *

><p>Kurt discreetly slips Santana twenty dollars shortly after arriving downtown at 'Le Cirque' because sitting next to Rachel is her ex-boyfriend and former 'Spring Awakening' co-star Jesse St. James. The pair had met when Rachel had been cast as Wendla in the Broadway revival featuring Jesse as Melchior and they had started dating shortly before opening night. Three months later, she'd moved out of the apartment she shared with Kurt and Santana and five months later she'd shown up at Kurt's new apartment looking for a place to stay until she found her own. They'd all been wary of Jesse because he was basically a male version of Rachel Berry, just as ambitious and driven and without any regards to the feelings of the people who stood between him and his goals. Their relationship had been intense, but it had crashed and burned before their Broadway run was even over and they were all relieved when Rachel announced that Jesse wouldn't be going on tour with the production.<p>

"Jesse, how nice to see you again," Kurt greets Broadway's newest darling through clenched teeth, lest Jesse mistakes his animosity for jealousy.

Jesse's career had taken off when he'd signed on to workshop an original production instead of going on tour with 'Spring Awakening' and by the time Rachel had returned to New York, Jesse's production had secured a Broadway theater and the critics couldn't stop talking about Jesse St. James. 'Butterfly Factory' had been the creator's first musical, but Kurt couldn't for the life of him remember his name.

"Hummel, I'm surprised to see you here. Heard you gave up your career for a baby. Such a shame, because even though it pains me to say so, you were quiet talented," Jesse replies and Kurt does a double take, because while they'd been civil with each other, Jesse had never said anything nice to him before. Maybe Rachel wasn't the only one who had changed in the past two years.

Before Kurt can think up a reply, strong arms wrap around him and he is lifted off the floor.

"Kurt," Mercedes squeals loudly before releasing him and Kurt turns on the spot and pulls his friend into tight hug. "It's been forever."

Mercedes looks like she'd been dressed and coifed by a stylist, and from the corner of his eye he spots a group of girls taking pictures of Mercedes with their cellphones. It strikes him in that moment, that he is the only one in the group who isn't famous, hasn't achieved his goal yet. The people taking the pictures probably think he is Mercedes' or Santana's assistant.

After everyone has hugged everyone, Santana orders a round of shots, which Kurt quickly dumps into the potted plant behind him when she isn't looking. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of wine, but getting drunk on shots before going home to his child sounds pretty irresponsible. While Rachel recounts the tale of her reunion with Jesse, Kurt lets Mercedes browse the pictures he keeps of Lexy on his phone and dodges questions from Santana about James' whereabouts.

"How long has it been since you've gone out, done something for yourself?" Santana asks after another round of shots. "And your Mommy and Me group doesn't count."

Kurt doesn't correct her because he knows she doesn't understand why the group is so important to him.

"I'm out with you aren't I?" he deflects. Santana and Brittany share a look.

"That's what I thought and because it's unacceptable here's our offer. Brittany's back from tour and I'm not filming on Thursdays till at least May, so why don't you drop her off at our place every Thursday and let her bond with her favorite aunts while you take care of yourself," Santana suggests.

Kurt just looks stunned because neither Santana nor Brittany had shown much interest in Lexy after she was born. But this offer is amazing, because Melissa had been right; he'll have to go back to work eventually and in order to get cast in anything music related he'd have to get back to vocal and dance lessons.

"That'd be amazing, Santana. Thanks so much," Kurt tells her sincerely and kisses Brittany who's sitting next to him on the cheek.

"So, Hummel," Jesse interrupts. "You have plans to audition any time soon?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Not while Lexy's still so young. And I don't want her to be raised by a nanny, like my husband was."

"Well like I said, too bad. The guy who wrote 'Butterfly Factory' is working on a new play right now and he prefers working with newcomers. Do you want me to give you a call once they start auditioning people?"

His first reaction is to say no, but then again, it won't hurt to stay in the loop. And who's to say that this project Jesse's talking about will be finished any time soon. If he ever wants to get back on Broadway, preferably in a leading role, he has to take advantage of all the connections he has these days. Younger Kurt, who hadn't known anyone and had taken whatever part he could to get his equity card and his foot in the door, would strangle him otherwise.

"That would be great Jesse. If his new project is just half as good as 'Butterfly Factory' I'd love to be a part of it."

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry, Kurt, but the studio called and they need me to come in this afternoon. Brittany's out of town so she can't watch her either. Do you want me to find someone to watch her on set?"<p>

Kurt closes the door to his closet with more force than strictly necessary.

"No that's okay. I'll try and get a sitter. Worst case I have to cancel my lessons and lose the money," Kurt sighs.

He doesn't want to cancel his lessons, because for one, they are expensive, and secondly, both his voice and dance skills had suffered during his prolonged hiatus. His teachers are certain that with a little bit more training, he'll soon be up for eight shows a week again, but only if he continues his training and doesn't slack again.

"Thanks, Kurt, and give me a call if you want us to watch her on Sunday instead."

After hanging up the phone and putting Lexy's clothes in her closet, he dials Katie's number, but, sadly, his call is sent straight to voicemail. Kurt takes a deep breath before dialing his husband's number.

"Kurt?"

"I need you to tell your boss that your daughter got sick and you have to go home to take care of her," Kurt says in lieu of a greeting.

"Is everything okay?" James responds, sounding a bit confused.

"I haven't got anyone to watch her this afternoon and I have class," Kurt reminds his husband. "So tell your boss you need to leave and watch her until I'm back."

"Love, I can't just leave. I have an important meeting this afternoon. Can't you reschedule your class?"

"I won't get the money back if I cancel this late."

"You know we have more than enough, if that's the issue."

"No, James, the issue is that as always I'm the one who's supposed to reschedule my plans. But not today. I'll trop Lexy off at your office in an hour."

"Kurt…" James protests, but Kurt hangs up the phone before his husband can talk him out of it.

Lexy is crawling across the living room carpet when Kurt reenters and he scoops her up when she pulls herself up on her feet with the help of his pants.

"Let's go and visit daddy James. How about that?" He tickles her sides as Lexy giggles and repeats, "da da da."

* * *

><p>Kurt is let up to the twenty-fifth floor after security calls James' secretary who confirms that Kurt is Mr. Patterson's husband. People stare at him as he pushes Lexy's stroller toward the elevators and a woman in a badly cut business suit goes as a far as getting off the elevator when he gets on. Kurt rolls his eyes, because no wonder that his husband doesn't know what to do with his daughter when he works with people who act as if they've never seen a baby before.<p>

On the twenty-fifth floor, Kurt is met by Linda, James' secretary. They'd met before the previous year at the office Christmas party and Kurt is relieved to see a friendly face.

"Mr. Hummel, I'm sorry but your husband is in a meeting. But I'll be looking after Alexandra while you run your errands if it's all right with you," Linda offers though Kurt knows she'd been instructed to take care of Lexy whether she wants to or not. But he won't look a gift horse in the mouth, not today.

"I'd very much appreciate it. Everything she needs is in her bag and I should be back around five to pick her up. Maybe you could arrange it so that my husband can leave with me then."

"I'll see what I can do," Linda winks and takes Lexy from the stroller.

Kurt glares at his husband's closed office door for a moment before he smoothes back Lexy's silky blond hair and kisses her temple.

"Daddy has to go to class, but daddy's friend Linda will look after you until I get back. Be good, okay."

Lexy is sucking on her thumb, distracted by the busy office around her, and Kurt slips out before she notices he's gone and makes a fuss about it. Maybe if she screams loud enough, James will have no choice but come and get her, he thinks vindictively as he strolls out of the high-rise building and hails a cab.

* * *

><p>They get into a huge fight once they are home and Lexy is tucked in for the night.<p>

"I know what you said about having a baby, but I didn't think it meant I'd be a single parent. There's nothing in your company's policy that says you can't take time off for your child and you've already gotten your promotion. So don't tell me you couldn't help me out here, you just didn't want to, because it would have meant having to actually spend time with your daughter," Kurt yells after making sure that Lexy's sound asleep.

"Well, it's not like she wants to spend time with me. Most times I'm around she starts crying," James retorts and if Kurt were the plate throwing type he'd throw the ugly china his mother-in-law had given him at his husband.

"Because she doesn't know you. You're just that stranger that stays in our apartment every now and then as far as she is concerned. If you spent more time with Lexy she wouldn't start crying every time she sees you. I really don't get how someone so smart, can be so dumb."

"I don't know what you want from me Kurt. You and Alexandra, I give you everything. Food, clothes, I bring you gifts _every damn time_ I travel, so don't treat me like I'm a bad husband and father."

"What I want is for you to get it into your head that we don't want your presents. We want you to spend time with us. So please, James, come home after work when you're in the city and let's be a real family. Let's put our daughter to bed together, let's have dinner together, just let's spend time together." He doesn't meant to beg, but if the result is a proper family for Lexy, he is willing to do just about everything to achieve it.

James approaches carefully, like you would a deer in the woods, and wipes the tears that managed to escape from Kurt's cheeks before kissing him softly.

"I won't promise you anything, because I hate breaking my promises, but I promise to do my best to be what you need, okay."

Kurt nods because what else is he supposed to say? No matter how much James gets on his nerves sometimes and how much he hates their current situation, he loves his husband. So he just needs faith that everything will work itself out in the end.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**_January 2022_**

"And you know what's ironic? We've fought so long for our right to get married and here I am, getting a divorce."

"But, Kurt, without the right to get married you wouldn't be able to join fifty percent of all New Yorkers and get a divorce either. So don't feel bad about ending your marriage just because getting married isn't possible in all fifty states yet. Your relationship isn't and shouldn't be a political statement," Blaine assures him when Kurt brings up that a co-star told him that his divorce is a setback for the gay community.

"I guess you're right. Tim just has this way of getting under my skin. And there I thought working with Jesse would be the problem."

Blaine laughs before taking a sip from his Manhattan. They're at their usual post rehearsal hang out with a group of dancers from the show and the aforementioned Tim, who has his tongue down his boyfriend's throat in a nearby corner.

"You know you won't get me to say anything bad about Jesse. The critics loved him when we were previewing 'Butterfly Factory' and who knows if it had ever gone to Broadway if it hadn't been for him."

"I know, I know," Kurt concedes. "And he's a so much better boyfriend to Rachel this time around. Who knew that success would actually mellow him."

They both share a laugh because Jesse St. James on stage is just as intense as he'd ever been. He's the perfect scene partner for Kurt, always driving him to give more of himself, to push himself even harder. That they are enemies in the show doesn't hurt either, though surprisingly, they've become somewhat friends since they'd both been cast in Blaine's newest musical 'Ace of Spades'. After all, Kurt wouldn't even be in the musical if it hadn't been for Jesse in the first place.

"Unfortunately, I owe him for getting me my first audition so until we're even I'm contractually forbidden to say anything negative either," Kurt jokes and bumps their shoulders together.

His skin tingles where it touched Blaine's and Kurt busies himself with his drink so he won't give himself away. He and James have their first meeting with a divorce lawyer Saturday morning, so until the end of his marriage is settled, he shouldn't even think about starting something with Blaine. He needs a clean break first, disentangle his life from James' and start fresh. And maybe then, he can begin to think about how he'll deal with his feelings for Blaine.

"Well, I for one am eternally grateful for that as well. It's as if I had written Nate with you in mind and the moment you walked through the door, I knew you were it. Even though you though I was just a lowly piano player when we met."

Kurt's cheeks turn a nasty shade of red and he thanks the dim lighting in the bar for hiding his embarrassment from Blaine.

"Will you ever stop teasing me about this?"

"Not a chance," Blaine winks and turns Kurt's stomach into his very own butterfly factory.

**April 2021**

"Hummel?"

"Yes, who is this?" Kurt holds Lexy's right hand as his daughter takes another wobbly step.

"It's Jesse. Rachel gave me your number."

Surprised, Kurt lets go of Lexy's hand, causing her to stumble and land on her butt. He quickly scoops her up before she can start crying and pins his cell phone between his head and shoulder.

"Jesse. Why are you calling?"

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I got you an audition for 'Ace of Spades'. I already got a part, but they are still looking for someone to play my younger brother and the way the role is described I thought you'd be perfect for it."

Kurt's flattered, he really is, but then he looks at the little girl in his arms and he doesn't know how he'd do it. James is more involved in her life now, making a real effort after their fight, but Kurt is still the one taking care of her every day but Thursdays when she is with Santana and Brittany.

"That's nice that you thought of me, Jesse, but I don't intend to go back to work before Lexy isn't at least a year old," he settles on with a heavy heart.

"You're going to regret not auditioning, Kurt. This show could do for you what 'Butterfly Factory' did for me. So listen, your audition is next Wednesday at eleven. I'll email you the address and the requirements and in the mean time you talk to whoever you have to talk to to make this happen."

Jesse hangs up the phone before Kurt can argue with him. Lexy starts to squirm in his arms and Kurt puts her down and lends her his hand as she takes another few wobbly steps while he starts a list of pros and cons about Jesse's news.

Later that night, when Lexy is asleep, he tells James about the audition as they are sitting down in front of the TV, James with a glass of red wine and Kurt with a light beer.

"That's amazing news, love. I always knew you'd make it big one day," James enthuses when Kurt's done and Kurt kisses him with the enthusiasm that had marked their early kisses.

"When would you start rehearsing?"

"I'm not sure, but it's an original so they'll probably workshop it for a few months before they take it out of town to preview it on the east coast."

"That would work out well then, right? Didn't Katie say she wanted to work more hours when she starts her masters in the fall?"

Kurt nods because this is one of the items on his pro list. That he already has childcare somewhat covered.

"Yeah, but Jesse said it's the second male lead, so I would probably have to be at the theater every day. What if Lexy hates me for abandoning her."

James just shakes his head before he gets up from the couch and puts his empty glass in the dishwasher.

"It's your decision, Kurt. Just don't resent her for it, if you miss this chance out of some misguided obligation." After a beat. "You want another beer?"

Kurt nods and exchanges his empty for the full one James is handing him before disappearing into their bedroom. He doesn't pay any attention to what's happening on screen as his mind goes over the pros and cons over and over again.

A few minutes later, his phone rings and Kurt isn't surprised at all when his caller ID identifies his dad.

"I'm guessing James called you," he answers the phone and his dad laughs.

"You know that I'm not his biggest fan, but I appreciate that he also wants what's best for you."

"And what is it, that's best for me? Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I just can't make up my mind," Kurt moans.

"You haven't even gotten the role yet. So what you'll do is go to that audition and give it your best shot. You don't get it, you add to your experience. You get it, you think about whether you really want it or not. And if you decide that you do, we'll all find a way to make it happen."

Kurt breathes in deeply, holds it and exhales. "Okay, I'll do it. You're right, I'm going to hate myself if I don't at least give it a try and I don't want to resent Lexy for holding me back. She loves Katie, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind spending more time with her."

"That's my boy! You go there and show them what Hummels are made of," his dad cheers and Kurt smiles brightly himself.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll try to make you proud."

"You always do, kiddo, you always do.

After hanging up the phone and checking on Lexy, Kurt joins James in the bedroom. His husband smiles at him and Kurt crawls over the covers and pushes James' glasses from his nose. That night, they make love, like they did when they first fell in love; before their life got complicated by marriage and a baby.

* * *

><p>Kurt hands his headshot to a tall brunette introducing herself as casting assistant Jamie Brax before taking a seat outside the little studio in Chelsea Jesse had sent him to. Lexy is with his parents who have come to New York to show their support and Kurt tries to focus solely on the reason why he's here. He's nervous because it's been nearly two years since he'd last auditioned for anything, but before his nerves can get the better of him, Jamie calls him inside.<p>

"We're ready for you Kurt."

Inside the little studio, three people are sitting behind a long black table. Kurt recognizes director Nick DuVal from a previous audition, but is relieved when his companions introduce themselves.

"Dakota Stanley, choreographer and producer," the short man next to the director barks, and Kurt stops himself just in time from curtseying, because Dakota Stanley is one of the best choreographers Broadway had seen in the last two decade. He just doesn't really look like Kurt had expected.

The third person in front of Kurt is Cassandra July, another producer and Mr. Stanley's assistant choreographer. Kurt knows that she taught at NYU from time to time, but after hearing the horror stories, he had refrained from signing up for one of her classes. Kurt gives them a friendly smile before he introduces himself.

"Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel. I'm twenty-seven, originally from Ohio, I'm married and I have a daughter. I got a degree in musical theater from Tisch and my last engagement before my daughter was born was with 'The Book of Mormon'. Today I'm auditioning for the role of 'Nate'.

"Nice to meet you Kurt, why don't you tell Blaine what you'll be singing."

Kurt turns around to hand the piano player his sheet music and nearly drips over his feet, because the guy sitting behind a beautiful baby grand is pretty hot. His hair is dark and curly and Kurt forces himself to look away, because the guy isn't just hot, he's also obviously younger than Kurt, and most importantly, Kurt is married, and shouldn't ogle the guy accompanying him during his audition.

Blaine shakes his head when Kurt offers him the sheet music to 'Miraculous Miracle'.

"Keep it, I got it," he tells Kurt with a big smile on his face, but Kurt won't let some piano player potentially ruin his audition because they aren't in sync.

"I'd rather you use it," he whispers, not wanting to give the director and producers a reason not to like him. "I made some notes where I think a different key would benefit my voice and if they like it maybe they'd advocate for the change."

To his surprise, Blaine laughs out loud.

"I like him. He's already telling me how to rewrite my music before we've even heard him sing."

Kurt freezes on the spot because this has to be a bad dream. The young guy in front of him can't be B. D. Anderson, musical prodigy and hailed by many as the Sondheim of his generation. He looks way too young, but if he were older he probably wouldn't be called a prodigy, Kurt muses.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you are B. D. Anderson. My friend's boyfriend Jesse worked with you before but the way he described you, I, I," Kurt stutters. "I actually don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. I'll sing it the way you wrote it."

Blaine shakes his head and pulls the sheet music from Kurt's loose grip.

"No, let's give it a try. See whether you are right or not."

Once he is done, Kurt doesn't know how he actually got through the song, because all he focused on while he was singing was the way Blaine's eyes lit up when Kurt mastered a particularly difficult part.

"I'd like you to read for us from the first scene, the first time Nate and his brother Ethan interact," Mr. DuVal instructs and Kurt grabs a copy of the script from his bag and flips through until he finds the scene.

Next to him, Blaine pulls up another chair, holding his own script in his hand.

"I'll be reading Ethan," Blaine explains, "who'll be played by Jesse as you already know."

As the final part of his audition, Ms. July demonstrates some choreography they are creating for the show, which Kurt has to repeat with as few mistakes as possible. He's very, very grateful in this moment, that his dance teacher is a hard ass who would make him repeat every move until he'd perfected it.

"Well, we have your information and will be calling people back starting Friday. If you haven't heard from us by next Wednesday, then you can assume that we've decided against you," Jaime informs him back outside in the hallway, while inside the studio another hopeful is auditioning, probably without making a fool of himself and insulting the show's creator.

Kurt doesn't really expect to get a call back even though his actual audition had been pretty good in his opinion. It hadn't been flawless, but it also hadn't been the audition of someone who hadn't been on a stage in over a year.

* * *

><p>Kurt gets the call when he's on his knees, wiping up Lexy's vomit. His daughter had taken advantage of his brief absence and had stuffed her face with the cookie dough he'd put on the windowsill to cool. How she managed to get the bowl down, he has no idea, but it had ended with her vomiting all over the kitchen floor.<p>

"What?" Kurt barks, hoping for an unsuspecting telemarketer he can use to blow off steam. Ideally, it'd be James again so Kurt can yell at the reason for his anger. After all, if his husband hadn't forgotten an important document in their bedroom, Kurt wouldn't have taken his eyes off Lexy who's going to start to walk any day now.

"Um, Kurt Hummel? This is Jamie Brax, we met at your audition on Wednesday."

Kurt drops the sponge into the bucket and wipes his free hand on his jeans.

"Yes, I remember," he replies after making sure that Lexy's where he's left her on the couch.

"I just wanted to let you know that the team really liked your audition and they'd like to meet with you again."

"Really?" Kurt asks incredulously. Maybe B. D. Anderson had taken pity on him and not told his coworkers about Kurt's faux pas.

"Yes, really. Would Thursday, 9 AM work for you?"

He'll have to talk to Santana about dropping Lexy off earlier. Worst case scenario, he has to pay Katie for a few hours before Lexy is due at Brittany and Santana's.

"That's no problem. Same address?"

After Jamie confirms the date, time and address again and ends the call, Kurt allows himself to shriek in joy for a moment before checking on Lexy who still looks pale, but is already on her feet again.

"Daddy's got a call back for an amazing show," he squeals and spins his baby girl in a circle, totally forgetting that she'd just puked. Fortunately, Lexy just claps her hands together excitedly when she's back on the floor, though Kurt doubts that she understands what's going on.

His joy lasts until he remembers the bucket and the small puddle of vomit still staining his kitchen floor. So much for the glamorous life of a Broadway star he'd dreamt about when he was younger.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, could we talk to you for a moment before you head out?" Dakota Stanley stops Kurt after his second call back.<p>

Kurt nods his head, because fortunately he isn't in a hurry. Katie won't drop Lexy off for another hour. Blaine Devon Anderson, please just call me Blaine, invites him to take the chair next to his and Kurt crosses and uncrosses his legs nervously. Though it has to be a good omen that the production wants to talk to him, right?

"You said you have a daughter. Can I ask how old she is?" Ms. July asks.

"Oh, she'll be eleven months this Sunday."

"How nice. And you haven't worked since she was born?"

Kurt bobs his head again.

"So what we are wondering is whether childcare is going to be an issue? You said you're married; will your husband stay with your daughter?"

Kurt doesn't like the direction this is heading in, because quite frankly, it's none of their business. Blaine smiles at him encouragingly, so Kurt ends up answering anyway.

"Ah, no. My husband splits his time between New York and China for work, but I have a sitter who'd watch my daughter in case you or another production will cast me."

Dakota Stanley and Cassandra July share a look.

"To be honest, I wanted to hire you on the spot after your first audition, but we were concerned about your level of commitment. If we cast you, you'll be in rehearsal for a leading role six days a week, starting in three weeks until at least January. In February, we'll preview out of town for two to three weeks and then it's back to rehearsal to get us Broadway ready. So the question is, can you fully commit to this? Are you sure you're willing to give up time with your baby for my baby?"

The way Blaine is looking at him, all earnest wide eyes, Kurt would gladly offer him his second born. Still, he takes a moment before he answers.

"Yes."

He sounds less certain than he wants, but he's made up his mind. This role could be his breakthrough, his chance to get his _whole body_ through the door.

"I'm certain I can do both, nurture both our babies so to speak."

Blaine beams at him and the rest of the team seems satisfied as well.

"Okay, thank you Kurt. We'll let you know once we've talked things over."

"Come on, I'll walk you out. I'm in need for a coffee anyway," Blaine offers when Kurt pulls on his jacket.

He isn't sure what to make of the way he feels whenever he's around Blaine. Not that it should matter because he is a married man with a child. And it also doesn't matter, because Blaine is kissed passionately when they step out onto the street by a gorgeous coffee carrying stranger with a dancer's body.

"Hey babe, thought you could use a break," the man greets Blaine while Kurt studies the laces of his boots.

"Pablo, this is Kurt Hummel. He's auditioning for my show," Blaine introduces them.

Pablo gives him a once over and Kurt feels like he's being put under a microscope. To make an awkward situation even more awkward, Katie walks up to them then, pushing the stroller with one hand while carrying Lexy with her other arm.

"Kurt! You're done already. I was just gonna wait for you out here, but that's good. I need to head to the library to study for a test in a bit."

Kurt can feel Blaine and Pablo's stares burn a hole into the back of his head as he accepts his daughter from Katie.

Katie, unaware of the weirdness of the situation (though Kurt has no idea why it feels awkward in the first place) waves cheerfully, ruffles Lexy's hair and takes off down the street before Kurt turns to face his potential new employer.

"So, this is Lexy," he mumbles just as the girl in question buries her head in Kurt's neck, hiding her face from Blaine and Pablo.

"Aren't you a little young for a kid? Knocked up your high school girlfriend before you came out?" Pablo, who looks barely legal himself, asks as Kurt struggles to keep his diaper bag from slipping down his shoulder.

"Pablo," Blaine chides. "Kurt only looks young, but he's actually nearly thirty."

He's turning twenty-eight in three weeks, but Blaine makes it sound like Kurt is ancient. Luckily, Santana choses that moment to call and gives Kurt an excuse to leave. Saved by the bell.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Pablo _(not),_ but Lexy has a date with her favorite aunts. And Blaine, if I don't hear from you again, I think you wrote something amazing and it was an honor to meet you."

He flees before Blaine can respond, mentally smacking himself for acting like a teenager experiencing his first crush. Not that he has a crush on Blaine. Because he has James and Lexy and Blaine has, well, Pablo.

* * *

><p>"Let my agent look over the contract before you sign anything," Santana advises when Kurt comes to pick up Lexy around six. "Cause if they expect you to rehearse six days a week, they better pay you."<p>

"Santana, they haven't even offered me the role yet and they may still go with someone else."

Santana scoffs.

"You've auditioned three times, once with Jesse, and they've asked you to stay behind for a private conversation. Trust me, they're definitely interested."

Behind her, Brittany buckles Lexy's shoes. Kurt raises his hands in surrender.

"All right. If they offer me the role I promise not to sign anything before your people have looked it over. Which they probably won't. They didn't really like it that I have a kid."

"If that's the only reason they won't hire you screw them, or better sue them for discrimination."

Fortunately, Kurt gets the call the next afternoon, rendering any drastic measures Santana may have planned unnecessary. He refrains from screaming like a lunatic until Mr. Stanley hangs up the phone after promising to send Kurt's contract over with a bike messenger. Unfortunately, he wakes Lexy up from her nap in the process, but it's okay, because he's just got his first lead role and if things go well he'll originate a role on Broadway. _His name_ will be forever associated with Original Broadway Cast of 'Ace of Spades' and it's going to be _his voice _on the CD. He may even receive a Tony before he's thirty. Kurt knows that his imagination is running away from him and none of it may actually happen. They could remain OFF Broadway or run out of money before they even go into production. It's all happened before.

"Dada," Lexy whines and Kurt picks her up and throws her into the air.

"Daddy's got the job!" More quietly. "I hope you're not going to hate me for leaving you with Katie."

Lexy just smiles at him and no matter how often he feels overwhelmed and in over his head, it hits him in that moment how much he's going to miss her once he goes back to work and won't be able to spend the day with her anymore.

At least it's Friday already so he'll see Melissa and the group tomorrow. He'll get their advice because at the moment he's the only parent without a job. Or rather was, he reminds himself, his face breaking into a smile. It's like his damn mind can't decide what he's feeling. One moment ecstatic about the musical, the next sad about leaving his daughter behind for a job.

* * *

><p>"It's perfectly normal to feel this way," Melissa assures him the next day.<p>

The rest of the group hasn't arrived yet, so Kurt takes advantage of having her undivided attention and spills his guts to her.

"I went back to work six months after Sarah was born and three months after Connor because I couldn't afford to get kicked off the partner track for staying home too long for my firm's taste. So I did what successful New Yorkers do, got a bigger apartment and a live in nanny my husband ended up sleeping with. The D-bag got the apartment in the divorce, so these days I work with two different baby sitters, but at least Sarah's already in kindergarten. And by all accounts, the kids are happy even though Mommy only has time for them on the weekends."

Kurt listens with rapt attention as Melissa tells him about her life.

"And be honest, Kurt. Can you remember anything from when you were her age?"

Kurt thinks about it, tries to recall all his memories of his mother, but his earliest memory is from when he was four years old and had accidentally broken his mother's favorite perfume over her dresser. And his dad has told the story of his third birthday and the heels he wanted too many times to count, but Kurt has no recollection of it. He shakes his head.

"Just give her your full attention when you do have time for her. And get that smoking hubby of yours to chip in when he's home. After all, you're only a honorary single parent."

Kurt had sent James an email telling him the good news, and while his husband had emailed back an enthusiastic reply, they'd both avoided raising the issue of Lexy's care for obvious reasons.

"I doubt it. He hasn't been really involved so far so why would he change now? At least he's really proud of me for getting this role."

Melissa studies him for a second.

"Are you happy in your marriage, Kurt?" she finally asks and Kurt rears back. What kind of question is that?

"Of course I am," he protests, but the question lingers on his mind long after he's returned home.

Is he still happy with James? Can he even argue that he is when meeting a man three times was enough to give Kurt a crush on him? And most importantly, can love really conquer all? No one's ever said love could be this hard.

* * *

><p>"Sorry about the other week."<p>

Blaine's called and asked Kurt to coffee to talk more about Kurt's thoughts on the songs and to apologize apparently.

They're having coffee uptown on Kurt's insistence, because he wasn't going to leave Lexy with a sitter just because her existence had made Blaine uncomfortable the last time he'd been around her.

"I didn't mean for things to get weird, but it's a bit strange seeing someone who's not even ten years older married with a kid. It just sounds so grown up; I'm not sure I could do this in my twenties. I wanna have fun, date a few guys, travel, you know."

Actually, he doesn't. He has a passport because he got married in London and he's seen a bit of the Scottish countryside because of his honeymoon, but apart from that he's never left the country. He'd applied to study abroad in France when he was in college, but didn't get the spot and going to Europe just for fun, hadn't been in his budget.

Still he nods, not wanting to let Blaine know how little he has experienced and seen of the world.

"So tell me about you. What do I need to know about B. D. Anderson?" Kurt redirects the conversation.

"Um, I don't know. I'll be twenty-three in September, I went to Julliard for a year and I half and I grew up in Ohio."

Kurt sits up in his chair.

"Really? I'm from Ohio too. Small town called Lima, but I don't think you've heard of it."

To his surprise, Blaine nods though.

"Yeah, I've heard of it. I went to school in Westerville, Dalton Academy."

"No way. We beat their glee club twice when I was in High School. 2011 and 2012."

"That explains why you beat us. I only started at Dalton the fall of 2012," Blaine teases and Kurt has the sudden urge to look up old show choir competitions on You Tube to check out a younger Blaine.

"So you sing too. Is there anything you can't do?"

Oh God. Is he flirting with Blaine? When his baby is right next to him and Blaine just told him that he finds him weird and pathetic. Maybe he needs to have his head examined.

"Apparently I have really bad taste in men," Blaine replies. "But I guess it's my own fault for going out with dancers who are clearly only interested in me to get a job."

"Oh, so you and, I'm sorry, I forgot his name..." (He didn't.)

"Pablo. Yeah, he stopped taking my calls when Dakota told him he didn't make the cut, but it's okay, I have a date on Friday with one of Nick's friends. Who's just a regular college student, so keep your fingers crossed."

"I heard that college students are the worst," Kurt quips, deciding to just fuck it and talk to Blaine however he wants because he's just having coffee with a potential new friend, who's very attractive, yes, but also funny and nice; exactly what he needs in a friend and ally in the show right now.

"Is there something you want to confess to your future employer about your wild college years," Blaine replies jokingly and if Kurt didn't know better, he'd think Blaine is flirting with him as well.

"Nuh, I dated a guy for six months my freshman year until he cheated on me, and afterward it mostly never went beyond a forth date. Until I met James two years after I graduated," Kurt confesses.

"Huh," Blaine frowns. "With you being married and having a kid I would have thought you'd known him longer."

"Well, I guess it was love at first sight and after, we didn't want to waste any time," Kurt lies, because he's known Blaine all of three and a half weeks and James immigration issues back when they met is none of his business.

"That's cool. I think I'm a romantic at heart too, but until I meet the right guy, I don't mind dating the wrong guys."

"But what if you've already met the right guy and didn't realize it or you were unavailable at the time?"

Because James could have easily asked someone else to share their table and then where would he be today? But Blaine just shrugs.

"If it's meant to be, it will happen."

For a brief moment, actually more like a nanosecond, Kurt envisions what it would mean if Blaine was talking about him. They'd bring Lexy to the theater where Blaine would watch her while Kurt rehearsed for his latest musical and their apartment would never be quiet with him and Blaine singing duets together by the piano.

He shakes his head, because what's gotten into him lately? He loves his husband, so why does he keep fantasizing about Blaine. It's not like anything could or would ever happen between them. He'd been cheated on by his first boyfriend, and he'd never do this to someone he loves.

Kurt redirects the conversation once more.

"So how did you get from Warblers' front man to Broadway wunderkind?"

Blaine blushes and looks away shyly.

"My mother signed me up for music classes when I was still pretty young and after an incident in eight grade, the only way I knew how to express my feelings was through music. Only, there weren't any songs that fit the bill perfectly and so I wrote my own lyrics and kept tinkering at the piano until it sounded like a song. Actually, Nate's solo at the end of the first act is a very polished version of the first song I ever wrote."

"That's amazing, Blaine," Kurt tells him honestly. "Thank you for telling me. And also, no wonder you got into Julliard."

"Actually, I got in for violin, because the only acceptable music career for my dad back then was orchestra. He promised to pay for my education if that was what I would focus on and so I complied because I love the violin nearly as much as I do the piano and it was a way to get out of Ohio to the musical capital of the country."

"So how did you go from there to 'Butterfly Factory?" Kurt asks after handing Lexy one of the stuffed toys she's just dropped. From the corner of his eye, he spies Blaine staring at him and Lexy with an unreadable expression on his face, but Kurt ignores it, because so far they've had a really nice afternoon and Kurt's learned a lot of interesting tidbits about one of his future bosses.

"First term of sophomore year, I took a class in composing, because song writing had remained a passion of mine ever since I'd written that first song. The overture of 'Butterfly Factory' was the result of that semester and at my presentation I added that if people wanted to hear more they'd have to visit me at this piano bar I worked. Dakota Stanley taught dance at Julliard that semester and he and a friend had been looking for something to invest in for some time. After one of my sets at the bar, during Christmas break, they came up to me and asked if I thought I could turn what I had into a full musical. And the stupid, a little bit arrogant nineteen year old that I was, I told them, I'd nearly finished it. They gave me three months to show them something they could work with and if it was as good as the bits they'd already heard, they'd help me get it produced."

"So how much did you have?" Kurt asked, his chin propped up by his hand as he listens with rapt attention.

He's read up on Blaine after the first audition, but this story he doesn't know yet.

"The overture, a duet and a solo I ended up using right before the finale. So, I had to drop out of Julliard so I'd be able to show them a completed musical in three months. I didn't tell anyone, not my parents, not my older brother and not my friends from high school. Only once I had secured financing, five months later, did I give my parents the tuition check back and told them I wouldn't need one for the fall either. My dad was furious, which is funny, because nowadays he's one of my biggest fans," Blaine laughs.

"Wow," Kurt gushes. "I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do what you did. Especially if I had managed to get into Julliard."

"Did you apply?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Once I found out I couldn't study musical theater at Julliard I applied to NYU and AMDA instead. I got waitlisted at AMDA, so NYU it was. And I don't regret it one bit. I had an amazing time there and I learned so much."

At that moment, his bladder unfortunately reminds him that his coffee isn't the first of the day and he eyes Blaine contemplatively.

"Would you mind watching Lexy for a second? I really need to pee."

Blaine's eyes widen and he eyes Kurt's daughter warily.

"What if she starts crying or I don't know, climbs out of the stroller?"

He sounds absolutely panicky and Kurt barely suppresses a laugh.

"Relax," he tells Blaine. "If she starts crying, play peak-a-boo with her or just hand her a new toy. And she can't climb out, she's buckled in. So, you'll be fine and I'll be back before you know it."

Kurt doesn't give Blaine a chance to protest and makes his way over to the restrooms. When he returns, Blaine is still staring at Lexy like she's a dangerous wild animal, but Lexy doesn't even pay him any attention.

Maybe he's read the situation wrong the first time Blaine met Lexy, Kurt muses as he walks over to their table. Because Blaine doesn't look disgusted or weirded out, he just seems to have no idea what to do with a baby. Actually, Blaine seriously appears to be afraid of her, which is just ridiculous because his daughter is elven months old and since she's learned how to sleep through the night, is a really easy to handle baby.

"She doesn't bite," Kurt teases as he plops down onto his chair. "I've fed her recently."

Blaine blushes and stops staring. "Sorry. I've just never really been around kids before. My older brother Cooper is thirty-two but I don't think he's ready to settle down anytime soon."

It's Kurt's turn to turn a dark shade of read.

"Your brother's so handsome. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but he's on my husband's list." He thinks for a moment. "So I better not tell him that I know Cooper Anderson's brother, lest he leaves me for him."

Blaine shifts in his chair and Kurt can tell that he's uncomfortable.

"But if it's any consolation," Kurt adds to cheer Blaine up. "I think you are much more talented than your brother. I mean, what's with all the pointing?"

Blaine barks out a laugh, his eyes twinkling. "I know right. He even came to Dalton once and taught a quote 'master class' and my friends nearly lost it when he explained why it was so important. And then he wonders why he's been on the same soap opera for the last two years. Not that there's anything wrong with soap opera," he adds hastily. "Jesse told me that you're best friends with Santana Lopez."

"Actually," Kurt smiles. "Her long term girlfriend is Lexy's biological mother. So the favorite aunts I was talking about are Santana and her girlfriend."

"Brittany Pierce, right? She's an amazing dancer. Too bad she's in 'Chicago' right now. I would have liked her in the show."

He looks Lexy over once more. "At least that explains the blond hair." After a beat. "She's going to be a beauty one day, with your genes mixed with Brittany's."

Kurt's heart skips a beat and his mouth suddenly feels dry. It's been a while since he's felt this way and it scares him how fast this crush is accelerating. He vows to skype his husband later tonight, because apparently he needs a reminder of what he already has to squash this inconvenient crush.

Because having a crush on your boss doesn't bode well, especially if you were certain you'd found your soulmate three years ago.


	7. Chapter 6

**_CHAPTER 6_**

**_December 2021_**

Kurt dutifully accepts the kiss to his cheek when James comes through the front door. Long gone are the days when he'd drop off and pick up his husband at the airport for every China trip. It's too much of a hassle with the stroller and a baby but even if it weren't he is sure he wouldn't still make the effort.

He waits until James is seated on the couch with a steaming cup of tea to bring up what's been eating him.

"This, us, isn't working anymore. I'm so sorry, James, but you're never home and even when you're in New York, you are never here. You're always hiding out at your office or have to meet important people for dinner, when Lexy and I should be the most important people in your life. I can't even remember the last time you actively spent time with us, not just coming to the park with us and continue working on your tablet while we were there. I know that you work a lot because the money is good, but what use is having all that money when we never do anything with it? We didn't even go on a vacation this summer even when we both could have had time off work at the same time. I'm just sick and tired of always coming second to your work, and I deserve more. Lexy and I both do."

There, he's said it. It's out there and there's no taking it back. From now on, all he'll have to deal with is the fall out.

"I agree."

Kurt gapes at his husband because this is the last thing he expected.

"Huh?"

"You're right. We've been growing apart and I recognize that it's mostly my fault with me being gone so much. But Kurt, when you had time off this summer, I asked you to come to Shanghai for a week so I could show you off to my coworkers and take you sight seeing. You said the flight would be too long and when I explained that I thought Alexandra could spend the week with her grandparents, so we could have a grown up vacation, you were pissed. I have all this money, but can't even take my husband to fancy restaurants because you feel bad asking the babysitter, who we pay to watch our daughter, to stay an hour longer. It's never just the two of us, no we always have to turn everything into a family thing when I'm in New York and Kurt we're in our late twenties, we should go clubbing on the weekends and then complain the next morning that we're getting too old for this, before doing it again, instead of going to bed early and feeding the ducks in Central Park on Sunday mornings. So yes, I agree. Things haven't been working for some time, and I doubt they will in the future if we stay together."

The only thing Kurt can do is stare at James; differing feelings waging a war inside of him. He's stunned, confused, but mostly, angry. Because if James felt this way, he should have told Kurt, sparing him from all the guilt he went through when he realized his feelings for Blaine.

"Why didn't you say something?"

He tries to keep his anger out of his voice, because he doesn't actually know how long James has felt this way. Maybe his husband hadn't consciously thought about breaking up before Kurt had brought it up.

"I thought I'd be an awful person asking you for a divorce when Alexandra is still so young. And I didn't want to seem ungrateful after what you did for me."

Kurt crosses the living room to the liquor cabinet. After a moment's consideration, he pours a second glass of whiskey for James.

"I'll ask Brittany if Lexy can spend the night at their place," he says when James eyes the contents of the glasses questioningly. Not that his husband should judge him, when Kurt's the one who's raising their daughter.

"So what? You kept your mouth shut because you were afraid you'd get deported if we split up?" Kurt continues, not bothering to hide his anger anymore.

James shakes his head frantically. "God, no, Kurt! I just felt like an asshole for even thinking about it. I mean, you married me so I could stay in New York and how do I repay you? I ask for a divorce when we have a baby. Sounds like a dick move to me."

Kurt takes a deep drag from his glass. The whiskey burns his throat and simultaneously warms his insides.

"I'm in love with someone else," he confesses quietly, because he feels like he owes James the truth. "I didn't mean to. I didn't go out trying to meet someone. It just happened. And I felt like the worst human being, staying with you when I'm not in love with you in anymore."

James refills their glasses. Kurt already feels lightly buzzed, but there was never a chance he'd get through this conversation sober. Even though in a way, it's going a lot better than he'd expected.

"I had offers in China - co-workers, business partners – but I couldn't. With some I was tempted, but I didn't want to be that kind of person who cheated on their spouse during a business trip. I was ready to stay with you, at least until Alexandra was older," comes James' own confession in the wake of Kurt's, but he can't say he's surprised.

Actually, he's more surprised that James withstood temptation, especially because they haven't been intimate in a while. He isn't sure he likes what this says about him; that he expected his husband to cheat on him. He sighs.

"We would have been fucking miserable just because neither of us would have had the guts to call it quits. Maybe, in a way, it's good that I met someone and it made me question our relationship."

James doesn't disagree.

"So what now?"

Because he's never thought beyond saying the words. Will he have to move out of the apartment? Will they fight about money? Will Lexy ever see her other father again once they are divorced? How does that even work; getting a divorce? Will they have to get a lawyer? And most importantly; can they even get divorced in New York when they got married in England?

After the wedding, James' uncle, who's a lawyer, had taken care of all formalities; getting their marriage recognized in New York and helping James get his permanent residency. And when Lexy was born, Santana's publicist had recommended a family lawyer to work out the contract regarding Brittany's surrogacy.

"I'm not sure," James replies and it makes Kurt feel better knowing that his husband hadn't thought about the details yet either. That they are in the same boat. "We should probably meet with a lawyer after Christmas to help us figure things out."

Fuck, Christmas. Kurt totally forgot about Christmas. They're supposed to spend it in Lima with Kurt's family and meet James' family in New York for New Year's.

"Would you rather I stayed with my parents this year?" James reads his mind.

Kurt immediately shakes his head. "No, unless _you_ don't want to be there. But I want to give Lexy one last normal Christmas with both her parents."

James nods. "What about Burt though? You think he'll still want me there once you tell him about the divorce?"

"He already knows," Kurt admits.

"Why am I not surprised? I'm sure he was all for it."

James sounds more resigned than angry, but Kurt still snaps at him.

"What the fuck, James? I needed my dad's advice and for your information, _he_ told me not to do anything rash. To really think it over before I did something I might come to regret."

"Oh. I thought your dad would be happy to get rid off me," James sounds contrite.

It makes Kurt deflate because James hasn't had it easy knowing how much his father-in-law disapproved of him.

"My dad just wants me to be happy and if that had been with you for the rest of my life he would always have been in our corner," he states simply.

"So we'll spend Christmas with your family and New Year's with mine. I'll be gone the first two weeks of January but I'll ask Linda to start looking for an apartment while I'm gone."

Kurt nods before he adds, "and I'll ask Melissa for the name of her divorce lawyer so we can start sorting things out when you're back."

Because they've always had a weird sense of humor, they toast to it with the remaining whiskey in the bottle. Kurt's well on his way to being full on drunk, nearly forgetting to give Brittany a call, when James says.

"So, how about we'll head to bed? One last time for old times sake?"

It's clear James isn't talking about just sleep and Kurt can't deny that he's horny. It's been at least two months since he and James had last had sex because he couldn't do it anymore after realizing his feelings for Blaine. Still, he shakes his head and ignores the way the alcohol in his body tries to convince him that a goodbye fuck is a good idea.

"I won't make you sleep on the couch, but no sex. I'm sorry."

"Right. You love some other guy."

There's no accusation in James' tone and Kurt wonders how they ended up like this. When they were supposed to be soulmates and he would have told his friends to revoke his gay card if he ever refused sex with someone as hot as James. Two years ago, not even three months ago, could he have ever imagined saying what he's about to say.

"I don't expect you to stay faithful to me until the divorce is finalized. As far as I'm concerned we're separated and if you meet someone, you should go for it."

"You mean, take off my ring like you did?"

"I didn't think you noticed," Kurt replies, barely hiding the veiled accusation.

"I did. But I thought you took it off for rehearsal and just forgot to put it back on. And I couldn't imagine you felt the way I did so I didn't bring it up. But yes, I noticed."

"Do you want it back? I know your parents paid for part of it, so I'd understand."

James shakes his head. "The ring is yours, so please keep it. Or sell it. It's yours, so do whatever you want."

It feels wrong to hold onto his wedding ring _and _his engagement ring, but Kurt doesn't want to hurt James' feelings by refusing to keep them. Maybe he'll pass them on to Lexy when she's older.

"So bed?" he says instead, not bothering to check if James is following him.

They brush their teeth next to each other, sharing the sink like they have done countless times before, and once Kurt has finished his abbreviated moisturizing routine, James is already asleep, lying dangerously close to the edge of the bed. Kurt sighs and crawls under the covers as well, leaving a huge gap between him and James; a gap that symbolizes perfectly what has become of his and James' relationship.

**_January 2022 (ff won't let me post this part the way it's supposed to be - you can find the proper version with all of Kurt's notes on AO3)_**

Kurt leaves his list of 'fun facts' about New York divorce on the counter for James to find when he returns from China.

_+ NO FAULT DIVORCE: the relationship between husband and wife (_Seriously? They still haven't changed that?_) has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months ? _(I'm not sure about the time frame, but this should apply to us, right?)

_+ SEPARATION AS GROUNDS OF DIVORCE:_

- _Judgment of separation: given by the court, for at least one year_

- _Separation agreement; spouses have not lived together for at least one year and have signed an 'Agreement of Separation'_

_+ UNCONTESTED DIVORCE: If all issues are decided between the parties they may agree to submit the papers to the court for approval. _(So do we need a lawyer or not?)

_+ RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS (one of the following conditions must be satisfied)_

_1) __The marriage ceremony was performed in New York and either spouse is a resident of the state at the time of the commencement of the action for divorce and resided in this state for a continuous period of one year immediately before the action began._

_2) __The couple lived as husband and wife _(Oh come on, gay marriage's been legal in this state for nearly ten years, change the fucking language) _in New York and either spouse is a resident of the state at the time of the commencement of the action for divorce and resided in this state for a continuous period of one year immediately before the action began. _(That should be us, right, minus the husband and wife thing)

_3) __The grounds for divorce occurred in New York. _

4) _The grounds for divorce occurred outside of New York._

5) _If the parties were married outside of New York and have never lived together as husband and wife in the state__._ (well, technically, we've never lived in this state as husband and wife)

_Residing 'continuously' in the state does not mean that the party can not have left the state during the period of residency nor does it mean that the party does not have another residency elsewhere outside New York._

_+ CHILDREN!_

_1) __Child custody: - physical custody (where is the child's main residence) and legal custody (who makes decisions about the child) are the two elements of custody, Custody may be joint (shared by consent between the parties) or it may be sole as determined by agreement or by court order. _(What do you want? I think we don't have an issues here, do you?)

_2) __Child visitation: - the parent who does not have physical custody has either a) reasonable rights of visitation b) a specified visitation schedule_ _or c) is limited to supervised visitation_(we should talk about a and b)

_3) __Child support: - in New York, the amount of child support paid by the non-custodial parent is based on an adjusted gross income formula. The payments are 17 % for one child. _(How do I not know how much you make?!) _Over and above monthly or weekly child support, the court is also able to award a child support 'add on' for daycare if the custodial parent works, educational costs for the child (usually limited to collage, not private or religious elementary and high school) and medical expenses including the cost of medical insurance. _(Should we send Lexy to private school? Did you like private school? I'm starting to realize there are a lot of things I don't know about you)

_+ PROPERTY_ (we don't have any_)_

_+ SPOUSAL SUPPORT _(makes me sound like a money hungry gold digger)

_A grant of spousal support depends on the facts of the case, such as disparity between the income of the parties, the duration of the marriage, the health of the parties, and the presence of very young children. In New York, spousal support is rarely granted on a permanent basis. _(I don't expect anything from you)

_+ L_EGAL FEES: When one party to a divorce is unable to afford an attorney that party is allowed to request the court to order the spouse with the greater income to pay all or part of the other spouse's legal fees. (I asked for the divorce, but you wanted it too – so should we just split all legal fees)

_+ NAME CHANGE: _(Never happened, but I promise not to start on it again)

James reads through the list the day before they are set to meet with their divorce attorney, making his comments on uncontested divorce moot, but at least his soon to be ex laughs at all the right places, making the prospect of divorce less scary and more like an inside joke about someone else's life.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Hummel, Mr. Patterson. Please come in," a tall woman in her mid-forties wearing a tailored, dark grey pant suit greets them on the twenty-ninth floor of 'Steinman, Walters and Marks', a highly recommended gay divorce law firm, Melissa's divorce attorney had referred them to.<p>

"I have to say it doesn't happen all that often that a couple seeking divorce shares a lawyer. You are certain this is what you want?" Carrie Marks, one of the senior partners asks them after an intern has dropped off coffee for Kurt and Mrs. Marks and tea for James.

Kurt and James nod. They hadn't seen a point in paying for two lawyers when they expected their divorce to go through smoothly, especially after Kurt had done his research.

"Alright. So how long have the two of you been separated?"

Kurt shares a look with his soon to be ex-husband.

"Well, James moved out two weeks ago, but we decided to get a divorce mid December."

"And before that, we didn't see each other much either. I travel a lot for work; that's why I couldn't move into a new apartment sooner," James takes over.

"It says here that you rent your apartment. Will you be able to afford the payments without Mr. Patterson's contribution?" Mrs. Marks addresses Kurt.

He's not a fan of this line of questioning, but he knew his and James' finances would come up during the divorce proceedings.

"Um, I'm in rehearsal for a new musical at the moment which doesn't pay much, but James has agreed to help out until we premiere so I can stay in the apartment with our daughter."

"So I'm correct in assuming that Mr. Patterson has a higher income?"

James nods. "I work for Lieman Investments here in New York."

Mrs. Marks looks through her files.

"I will need statements on your income to determine spousal support and if necessary child support."

"I don't need spousal support," Kurt interrupts the lawyer, his cheeks an unattractive shade of red.

"Mr. Hummel, with all due respect, you just admitted that you need help paying for your apartment. This qualifies you for spousal support until you get back on your feet," Mrs. Marks gives him what he thinks is supposed to be a comforting smile. "Do you have any objections?" she turns to James who shakes his head.

"I still care for Kurt, so anything to make this easier."

While Kurt avoids eye contact with the other occupants of the room, Mrs. Marks makes notes in her files before she smiles at both of them.

"That brings us to custody of your daughter Alexandra. I gather you've already come to a decision?"

They nod again. As expected, they were in agreement over what would be best for Lexy.

"I want Kurt to have sole custody of our daughter. He's been the one raising her so far and I believe it's in her best interest if we don't disrupt her life too much."

"Do you agree, Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt nods, because, yes it's in Lexy's best interest if nothing changes. Even though he suspects that James agreed so readily because he doesn't want to spend more time with their child.

"So visitation. Do you want me to draw up a schedule?"

"I don't think that would work for us. I spend half of my time overseas," James replies for both of them. "And I usually don't get much warning before a trip. So Kurt and I thought we'd just make decisions on the fly when I'm in New York.

Kurt's not too happy with this solution, because he fears that James will just find excuses when he's home like he had in the past.

"You don't agree?" Mrs. Marks asks him, correctly interpreting his facial expression.

He phrases his answer carefully, because he doesn't want an amicable divorce to get nasty.

"It would be easier for my own schedule if we could come up with some sort of timetable for when you're in New York."

For a moment it looks like James is going to argue, but then he nods stiffly.

"What do you have in mind?"

"You take her to the park, the playground, whatever every Sunday afternoon you're in the city. Unless, we're not in New York, then we'll find a day to make up for it. You let me know about your travel plans and in turn I inform you if I'm going somewhere with our daughter. That's all I really expect from you; at least one afternoon a week unless you're out of the country."

He'd ask for more if he were certain that James actually wanted more and with the way his ex is looking at him, Kurt's sure James is aware of how little Kurt thinks of him these days.

"I can do that," James promises, a sad smile on his face.

"Alright, so I'll petition the court to award Mr. Hummel sole physical and legal custody of Alexandra Hummel. In detail that means that you, Mr. Patterson, can't take your daughter out of the city or the country without Mr. Hummel's permission. All decisions regarding Alexandra Hummel will be made by Mr. Hummel and Mr. Patterson has the right to visitation with the approval of Mr. Hummel. Mr. Patterson will pay child support for Alexandra Hummel until either she finishes her education or Mr. Hummel remarries. Should Mr. Hummel remarry, the issue of child support will be revisited," Mrs. Marks summarizes for Kurt and James.

"Now as for property. Are there any items you disagree over?"

Kurt looks at the list he and James had drawn up over the past week, itemizing all their possessions.

"We've bought most of our furniture together, but I believe we're in accord over the division," Kurt says and hands the lawyer the list.

Most things are already at James' new apartment, but there are items like the flat screen TV still waiting to be picked up. Kurt's readily given up the TV for the couch and the blue ray player for the espresso machine. He'd even thrown in the Tivo and all the living room paintings so he could keep the piano James had bought him for their first anniversary. James' new apartment came fully furnished, so Kurt still has their bed, but he intends to replace it as soon as he has time to stop by IKEA so he can really start over. Kurt stops himself before he starts picturing Blaine in his bed because now is neither the time nor the place for such thoughts.

Mrs. Marks looks through her files once more as Kurt tries to compose himself.

"I think that's it then. Once you've lived in separate apartments for six months, I will file all forms for you and you should expect to be served the divorce papers three to six weeks afterward. If all goes well, you'll be divorced in June."

June seems so far away and Kurt had hoped they could deal with it faster, but what's there to do?

They shake Mrs. Marks' hand as they leave and avoid eye contact on the elevator down. For the first time since Kurt told James that they're over it feels awkward between them. Maybe it's because it's really final now; because soon-ish they'll be officially divorced and every legal form they'll fill out will reflect their new status until one of them remarries. If they ever will. Kurt most definitely doesn't have plans to get married again anytime soon. It's bad enough to be a twenty-eight year old divorcee. One failed marriage before he's even thirty is enough in his opinion.

To defuse the situation, he squeezes James' hand gently.

"Katie's watching Lexy till one. Do you wanna get a cup of coffee for old times sake?"

For a second he flashes back to an awful script and a crowed coffee shop. To a gorgeous man asking if he could sit with Kurt in this sexy accent. To being certain of happily ever after.

As if the coffee shop on the ground floor of the building senses his mood, intuits his nostalgia, an old song from Kurt's youth starts to play.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_Tell you I set you apart_

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_

_Running in circles, coming up tails_

_Heads on a science apart_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start_

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_

_And tell me you love, come back and haunt me_

_Oh when I rush to the start_

_Running in circles, chasing up tails_

_Coming back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start_

Only, Kurt doesn't want to go back to the start, at least not with James. The future is wide open to him and for the first time in a while he's excited about all the new possibilities just waiting to be explored.

**End of Part I**


	8. Interlude 1

**AN: **Thanks to lilyvandersteen who pointed me to makemebabies dot com you can now see what Lexy looks like. You can find the pictures on my tumblr: www dot tumblr dot com slash blog slash alexacardew or embedded on Archive of our Own in Chapter 4 - Part 1 and Interlude 1

_**INTERLUDE 1**_

"Are you sure you want to come with us?"

Blaine shrugs. "Why not? I'm bored and you're gonna need the help."

Kurt eyes Blaine skeptically, Lexy squirming in his arm.

"Have you ever been to IKEA on a Saturday? I've heard that at least one couple an hour breaks up in the parking lot after shopping there."

Blaine laughs. "You did not hear that. That was in an episode of that old TV show you made me watch."

"30 Rock is cult even though Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan are homophobic jerks in real life," Kurt huffs because making fun of Kurt's most beloved TV shows seems to be Blaine's favorite pastime and it usually makes him feel like they're more than the five years apart in age they actually are.

Always knowing when to quit, Blaine raises his hands in surrender.

"You win; you have the superior taste in TV shows," Blaine laughs. "And just to be safe, I'll keep it in mind for any future relationship. If IKEA really is cursed, aren't you glad we're just friends?" he nudges Kurt playfully, stabbing him in the heart in the process.

They are standing in the entryway to Kurt's Upper West Side apartment, living room practically stripped bare after he and James divided their assets. Blaine had shown up out of the blue, just as Kurt was getting ready to head out, taking advantage of the free Saturday they were given to get ready for two weeks of previewing 'Ace of Spades' on the east coast.

"And you are certain you want to spend an additional day with this one?" Kurt jiggles Lexy in his arms making her laugh. "You know I expect you to watch her when I'm on stage."

He's only half kidding because he doesn't have a choice but bring his daughter along to their out of town previews. Neither of his friends had been willing to keep her for two weeks and Burt and Carole sadly weren't able to take the time off of work either.

Blaine bobs Lexy on the nose.

"You and I are going to have so much fun together, Miss Lexy," he tells Kurt's daughter, making his voice high pitched and using his fingers to make funny faces.

He'd make such a good dad, Kurt thinks as he watches Blaine entertain Lexy.

An hour later, when they finally get to Brooklyn, Blaine looks more harried but surprisingly hasn't lost his good mood, while Kurt barely refrains from snapping at people for not getting out of the way fast enough. At least his daughter seemed to have the time of her life on the IKEA ferry shuttle, bouncing on his lap excitedly the whole time she wasn't trying to climb onto the railing.

"So what are we looking for?" Blaine asks cheerfully as he pulls Lexy out of the stroller Kurt had forced her into before getting off the ferry and puts her on his shoulders. It makes it easier for Kurt to navigate through the throng of people without having to worry about upending the stroller with Lexy in it.

"New living room furniture that matches the couch, a few posters and paintings and a new mattress for my bed. Feels kinda weird to keep sleeping in the bed I shared with James, " Kurt admits.

"I guess so," Blaine shrugs. "I've never lived with a boyfriend before. I thought maybe with Cameron but that didn't work out either."

It's been over two months, so unsurprisingly, Blaine doesn't seem too sad about his latest break up. Kurt still smiles at him encouragingly.

"When you meet the right guy, I promise you'll want to spend every minute with him. And if you're lucky he won't turn into a caveman once you move in together," he adds jokingly.

"Admit it, you want me to stay single forever," Blaine teases, not knowing how right he actually is.

So Kurt smiles, pushes his own feelings back down and focuses on finding the perfect throw pillows for the couch.

"I know nothing about this nefarious plan you speak of," he settles on, intent on keeping things easy and Blaine from discovering how Kurt feels before he's ready and his divorce is finalized, which won't be for months.

Before they enter the building, Kurt stands on tiptoes so he can look his daughter in the eye.

"Sweetie, when we go inside, I need you to stay with me and Blaine. No running away, okay? If you want to walk you need to hold my hand."

Like so often in the past few weeks, Lexy doesn't pay him any attention but starts pulling Blaine's curly hair.

"Car, car," she babbles excitedly, pointing at a shopping cart in the form of a car.

Suddenly, Kurt is faced with two people using their puppy dog eyes on him and he just rolls his eyes as he gives Blaine the go ahead. He'll probably get more done faster knowing that Lexy is being taken care of.

After choosing decorative pillows, a new coffee table and DVD rack, they make it to the mattress area where all three of them start bouncing on the various mattresses reminding Kurt of a commercial he shot with his high school glee club in a mattress store.

"No way, you were part of that?" Blaine snorts. "One of the older Warblers told us the story once, about the glee club that nearly got disqualified for filming a mattress commercial." With a gleam in his eyes he adds. "You wouldn't know if this gem happens to be on YouTube?"

Kurt glares at Blaine while Lexy attempts a summersault across a king sized mattress.

"I hope not, but in my defense, I was young and thought a commercial would make me famous."

Blaine starts laughing so hard, he ends up clutching his stomach.

"You know," he wheezes, "my older brother kinda got famous with a commercial."

"I know," Kurt admits. "The credit one used to be my ring tone in high school."

Predictably, Kurt's admission shuts Blaine up immediately.

"And I thought you were cool."

Blaine sounds actually disappointed and Kurt vows to keep his more embarrassing stories to himself from now on.

"It's been a long time," he tries to shrug it off, before grabbing Lexy and jumping on the next mattress.

Once they've tested all mattresses he turns to his daughter.

"Which one do you like best?"

Lexy climbs onto the king sized mattress the three of them had played on the longest.

"Blay!" she reaches for Blaine, who flops down next to her.

"She's right, Kurt. Were I in the market for a new mattress I'd get this one as well."

"Alright," he agrees. "I'll check if they have it as queen size as well."

"You should just get the king size and buy a new bed frame. It's so fu … freaking comfortable," Blaine quickly corrects himself and Kurt shakes his head.

"What would I do with a king sized bed? I'm single and Lexy can't sleep with me in my bed forever."

"Oh, come on, Kurt," Blaine rolls his eyes. "We both know you won't be single for long."

Kurt just stares at Blaine, begging the universe to give him telepathic powers. Because he would really like to know what Blaine means. Is he flirting or just being nice? Because if he could be certain that Blaine would share his bed one day, he'd gladly buy the larger mattress.


	9. Chapter 7

**AN: Last flashback before we pick up after Kurt and James' meeting with their lawyer. Starting in chapter 8, the rest of the story will be told chronologically.**

**_PART 2_**

**_CHAPTER 7_**

**_December 2021_**

"So if you've loved him for nearly two months, why didn't you say something sooner?"

Kurt fidgets in his chair.

"He broke up with his boyfriend. They've only been dating six months, but I thought they'd make it. So why make a decision over someone that would probably never be available. But now he is, and he's really warmed up to Lexy over the past few months, and I can't stay with someone I will always love in some way, when the person that I can't stop thinking about could return my feelings. The way I feel about Blaine, I could see myself do something really stupid should he offer and even though I don't love James the way I used to anymore, I could never do that to him. It's bad enough that I'm in love with another man, but for me it'd be even worse if I acted on my feelings while I'm still with James.

Burt sighs. "No, kiddo. Really stupid would be to end your marriage because you have the hots for some guy and are afraid you won't be able to keep it in your pants."

"Dad," Kurt groans, because that's not what he meant.

Everything would be so much easier if this thing with Blaine were just about sex. But no, he had to fall in love and realize in the process that maybe he still loves his husband, but isn't in love with him anymore and had stopped caring about James' work related absences a while ago. God, breaking up would be so much easier if he'd never gotten married in the first place.

It's the morning after Kurt had dropped the bomb and apparently his dad is still reeling from it.

"Why did you let me get married when I did?" he whines, because now he'll have to get a divorce instead of just moving out of the shared apartment like unmarried couples breaking up can.

"Because you wouldn't have listened to me if I'd told you that you are making a huge mistake."

Kurt sighs because unfortunately his dad is right. He probably would have gotten married even faster out of spite.

"So you're sure you're in love with this guy? This isn't just a sex thing?"

Kurt sinks further into the couch and buries his head behind his hands. His voice sounds muffled when he replies.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm sure."

**_October 2021_**

Kurt doesn't even realize that he's fallen in love until it's too late. He and Blaine have been working together for a few months, gone out with the whole cast at least once a week so they could all bond and usually met in Central Park on Sundays even when James was in New York, but claimed to have too much work to do for a trip to the park. At some point his innocent crush has developed into more and now he is doesn't know which way is up anymore.

And of course he has to realize he's in love with Blaine because of a fucking song. Like his life is a musical.

Blaine had written a new song for him and in today's rehearsal had sung it for Kurt so he'd get a feel for what it should be like. And listening to the lyrics and Blaine's performance it hit him like a ton of brick. James wasn't the first person he thought of anymore when something happened in his life; his first instinct had become to call Blaine. He thought about Blaine and what he was doing at the moment constantly when they weren't together and he was insanely jealous of Blaine's boyfriend Cameron. At first he had justified his feelings with having nothing in common with the pre law student and therefore not getting along, but now he can't do it anymore. He doesn't like Cameron, because he gets to go home with Blaine while Kurt has to say goodbye in front of the theater and because he gets to kiss Blaine when all Kurt gets are hugs. Not that the hugs are bad, but he wants more. It isn't just feelings, he desires Blaine as well, which is understandable though because Blaine is gorgeous.

He's still sitting on a chair in the back of the studio they are renting for rehearsals, when the last of the dancers leave the room with their choreographer Dakota Stanley, leaving Kurt alone with Blaine.

"You never told me what you thought of the song. Did you hate it?" Blaine drops into the seat next to Kurt's and stares at him wide eyed with those puppy dog eyes of his.

"What, no, I, I, lo-, liked it. It's great," Kurt stutters, caught off guard. He'd gone through the rest of rehearsal in a daze, not even realizing when it was over. Otherwise he'd have left before Blaine got a chance to talk to him.

He's actually surprised Blaine's doesn't know immediately what's going on, because he feels like he has a neon sign spelling Kurt loves Blaine on his forehead. He's certain that he's blushing for no apparent reason and his hands are sweaty. In fact he feels like he did when he was twelve years old and looked up shirtless pictures of his favorite movie stars on the Internet; guilty about his feelings and certain that everyone around him can read his dirty mind. His stomach in knots, Kurt gives Blaine his best show smile.

"But you know that already. You wouldn't have sung it in front of the whole cast if you didn't think it was a good song."

"Yeah, but I wasn't concerned about their reactions, I needed to know that you liked it. After all, you'll be the one who has to perform it on a stage," Blaine winks and the butterflies in Kurt's stomach summersault.

"I, I have to go. I told Katie I'd be home by nine," he excuses himself because he needs to get away from Blaine before he does something stupid like kiss Blaine or tell him about his feelings.

"Um, okay. Do you want to share a cab? I'm meeting Cameron uptown anyway," Blaine offers and any other day he'd taken him up on it but today he needs to be alone with his thoughts.

"That's okay, thanks. I'll probably be faster taking the subway and I don't want to be late again."

Blaine looks disappointed (or maybe Kurt's just imagining things now) but nods.

"See you tomorrow then. I want to work with you on the song while Dakota teaches the dancers the new choreography."

Kurt swallows hard, because spending time one on one with Blaine is exactly what he doesn't need right now. Not when he feels like he's losing his mind, because how else would you describe what's happening to him. After all, married people aren't supposed to fall in love with people who aren't their spouses.

* * *

><p>"You all right?" Katie asks when Kurt walks through the front door and unceremoniously drops his workout bag. "You look a little pale."<p>

Kurt waves her off and quickly checks that he's on time. Katie's been staying late a lot in the past few weeks and Kurt feels bad about it, because twenty-two year olds shouldn't spend their nights with babies that aren't their own.

"I'm fine. Dakota was being his usual slave driving self, so I'm just bone tired."

"If you say so. Lexy went to bed around seven thirty thankfully without a fuss after you talked to her, so why don't you take a bubble bath and relax," she suggests and Kurt has to admit that Katie always has the best ideas.

"I think I will. Enjoy your free day and I'll see you Friday at one."

He closes the door behind her before slumping against it. James isn't due to return from Shanghai for another eight days, so the apartment is quiet apart from the street noises that are a constant in the city. For a moment he considers calling his dad, but he can just imagine what he'd say. That Kurt made a commitment, promised to stay faithful till death and had to stick to it no matter how hard things got. And he wasn't so sure anymore if he could stick it out and just hope that his feelings for Blaine would pass and he would fall back in love with his husband.

Desperate for some kind of advice, he pulls his tablet from his bag and types 'married but in love with someone else' into the search bar. Immediately, he's bombarded with webpages offering him discreet one night stands but at the bottom of the page he finds a forum that looks promising.

The first replies to a similar question, aren't however. One person writes that you should only cheat if you're certain you won't get caught, because adultery can still cause you trouble in the following divorce, while another one thinks that a threesome with the new person would be the best solution to the problem. The consensus on the page however seems to be that one should be honest with the partner about the feelings one developed to either find a way to make the marriage/relationship work in spite of them or to start a dialogue about possibly breaking up or getting a divorce. Neither of those solutions seem very appealing to Kurt, because for one, he really doesn't want to tell James about falling in love with someone else and secondly, divorce sounds way too drastic. After all, it's not like Blaine has feelings for him as well and there's a chance that they could be together.

Kurt drops his tablet on the coffee table and walks into the bathroom. Once he's got the water running, he quietly opens the door to Lexy's bedroom. The nightlight her grandpa Burt had gotten her illuminates her sleeping face and Kurt softly kisses her forehead before closing the door behind him again. With how busy he is these days, he's always happy about the mornings they spend together before either Katie comes by or he drops her off at her aunts' like he'll do tomorrow. It's also the only time he ever gets things done in the apartment, making him incredibly grateful that James had hired a cleaning lady who comes by once a week.

In the bath, he tries not to think about Blaine, because it's bad enough that he's developed feelings for his best friend, but actually thinking about him while he masturbates would be so much worse, because he would never be able to look Blaine in the eye again if he indulged. So he keeps his hands to himself and thinks about dirty diapers and the household chores he'll have to do tomorrow before rehearsal to keep his mind from wandering.

What he keeps coming back to however, is the question of what to do with his realization. Should he just ignore it and hope that things will go back to normal eventually? Or should he follow the online community's advice and talk to James about how he's feeling? Maybe if James were aware of it they could work on fixing their marriage together. But what if James is happy with the status quo and doesn't want to change anything? What if James has a secret lover somewhere in China and that's why he's always happy about his assignments. Kurt shakes his head, because what right does he have to accuse James of cheating when he's the one in love with another guy.

In the end, he settles on ignoring the problem and hopes that his feelings for Blaine are like a nasty cold, strong while it lasts, but over eventually.

**Thanksgiving 2021**

"I'm sorry, Dad, but Lexy still hasn't gotten over her cold and the doctor doesn't think flying is a good idea until she's 100 % fit again," Kurt tells his dad two days before Thanksgiving.

The plan had been to fly out Thursday morning and get back to New York late Sunday, but Lexy's persistent cold are thwarting it. Just like his feelings for Blaine, her cold just won't go away, so Kurt has to cancel the trip to Lima.

"That's okay kiddo. Her health comes first. It's just too bad Carole's already volunteered for the soup kitchen and I've given the guys the day off to be with family. Otherwise, we would've come to you."

It won't be his first Thanksgiving on his own because his first year of college it hadn't been in the budget and his first year out of college he'd been in a small Off Broadway play and had told his family that he'd spend it with the cast anyway. But it's different this year, because James is in Beijing ("The Chinese don't give a damn about your American holiday") and Lexy is old enough now to be part of the festivities that she now will be missing out on. Unless, unless he organizes a little Thanksgiving party of his own for all his friends who are staying in New York as well. It will be just like the orphans' dinner a few of his classmates had organized his first year at NYU.

A few phone calls later, he knows that Rachel and Jesse are spending Thanksgiving in New York because her dads won tickets for a cruise and Jesse's parents are in Europe, Santana and Brittany are staying as well because they aren't fans of dinners with disapproving family members, a few of the dancers are from the other side of the country and won't fly back home either and Nick agrees to come if he can bring his new girlfriend, who's from Italy and curious about American Thanksgiving. Only Blaine declines his invitation.

"I'd love to come Kurt, but Cameron's parents are in town and he wants me to meet them. So we'll have Thanksgiving at his place and on Friday I promised to go shopping with him and his mom," Blaine says when Kurt calls to invite him, reminding him that Blaine has a life outside of the theater and that that life includes his boyfriend of six months that Kurt kinda loathes even though he's probably a really nice guy. A guy who's also the reason, why Kurt hasn't said anything to anyone about his doubts about the future of his marriage brought on by his feelings for Blaine. Because as long as Cameron is in the picture – which he'll probably be for a while if Blaine's already meeting the parents – there's no chance Blaine will ever return his feelings, and Kurt isn't ready to call it quits on his marriage just because he loves Blaine instead of James.

"That's great Blaine," he lies convincingly while wishing he could be a better person and be actually happy for Blaine. "Tell me how it goes." Unless it goes well, he adds in his mind.

"I'm actually quite nervous," Blaine admits. "I've never met any boyfriend's parents before."

Now he feels even worse for hoping it won't go well.

"They're going to love you," he assures his best friend.

"What's not to love," he adds after Blaine has hung up the phone.

* * *

><p>The party is in full swing, or as much as in full swing a party can be with a seventeen months old in attendance, when the doorbell rings. Kurt's not expecting anyone else and as far as he knows neither of his friends is bringing any more guests, so he uses the intercom before buzzing the unexpected guest up.<p>

"Who is it?" he calls over the noise as Jim, one of the dancers, tries to make Lexy squeal. His friends and coworkers have been fawning over his daughter from the moment they came over, and Kurt's quite happy about all the additional baby sitters in the apartment. At least this way, he doesn't have to constantly worry about her getting too close to one of the candles or even worse, the carving knife.

"It's Blaine. Do you have room for one more?"

"I'll buzz you up."

Instead of waiting for Blaine inside the apartment, Kurt steps out into the hallway, because Blaine's surprise appearance can surely mean only one thing.

"Are you okay?" he asks as soon as Blaine gets off the elevator, dressed in a dark blue pea coat covered in freshly fallen snow.

Blaine furrows his brows. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Kurt's confused. "Weren't you supposed to have dinner with Cameron's parents?"

"Oh," Blaine shrugs. "We broke up yesterday, so meeting his parents would have been kinda awkward. I'm only late, because Cooper remembered that he has a brother living in the same city and insisted we go out for drinks when he couldn't get last minute dinner reservation. Don't tell anyone though that the famous Cooper Anderson couldn't get a reservation," he adds jokingly.

"Where is he now?" Kurt asks though he'd much rather find out why Blaine and Cameron broke up.

"Probably trying to pick up some bimbo. He was talking to a barely legal blonde when I left," Blaine shrugs again.

Kurt can't have that because Thanksgiving is for family, even if James doesn't understand that. People should be with their families or friends.

"We have more than enough to eat. Invite him over," he tells Blaine, who grimaces.

"You're only saying this because you want to meet my 'hot' brother."

Kurt shakes his head. He may have found Cooper Anderson very attractive when he was younger and didn't know his much cuter brother yet.

"Just being a good Samaritan."

"Fine," Blaine grumbles before he sends a text to his brother. When he looks up again, he's smirking at Kurt.

"Go ahead, ask. I know it's killing you not to know."

Kurt does his best to appear like he's got no clue what Blaine is talking about, but fails miserably. Apparently, he's only a good actor when there's a stage involved.

"Why'd you break up?"

"He got his early admittance letter to law school in California yesterday. Stanford's his first choice and neither of us thinks a long distance relationship would be a good idea for us, so we decided it'd be better to break up now than drag it out till next fall when we don't have a future together," Blaine explains.

It's nearly impossible for Kurt to imagine that someone doesn't want to be with Blaine and that someone most definitely doesn't deserve Blaine's love.

"I'm sorry," he says nevertheless because it seems like the right thing to say in a situation like this. "Come in, we have cookies and way too much booze for a party that includes my daughter. Everything you need to get over a break up."

Blaine laughs and Kurt nearly swoons when Blaine smiles at him.

"You had me at cookies."

* * *

><p>After Kurt puts Lexy to bed around nine, an hour past her usual bedtime, the party quiets down, but no one leaves for quite some time. After making sure that his daughter really is asleep, he lets Blaine make him a drink, his first of the night, and joins the grown up party.<p>

"She's so cute," Nick's girlfriend Alessa gushes when Kurt sits down next to her and Nick, waiting for his drink. "If she were mine, I'd never let her out of my sight."

"Tell that to her other dad," Kurt mumbles under his breath, but Blaine seems to catch it because he looks at Kurt curiously as he hands him a shockingly pink cocktail. He refrains from asking what's in it and tentatively takes a sip. The colorful concoction tastes surprisingly good, though Kurt still can't tell what's in it. He suspects copious amounts of alcohol and vows not to have more than one, because someone has to stay sober in case anything happens.

"Where is the famous husband?" Blaine asks and squeezes in between Nick and Kurt, nearly ending up in Kurt's lap because there really isn't space on Kurt's couch for a forth person even though Alessa is tiny and barely takes up space. "I thought we were finally going to meet him tonight."

"You already met him," Kurt reminds Blaine even though it had been very briefly. "When you dropped off Lexy's birthday present."

They'd only been working together a few weeks at the time of Lexy's first birthday, so Kurt had been beyond surprised when Blaine had shown up at his front door with a teddy bear from 'Build a Bear' which had Kurt singing a lullaby when you hugged it. At least it had explained why Blaine had asked him to sing a lullaby during rehearsal the previous week.

"That doesn't count. He didn't even introduce himself," Blaine says. "So where is he?"

"James is in China for work. His British so Thanksgiving doesn't mean anything to him and the rest of the world doesn't care either, so he had to go and negotiate some stuff I don't understand," Kurt explains though he wishes they would change the subject. He doesn't like the look of pity in his friends' eyes, especially from the couples that have curled up together in a corner of the living room. He didn't think he'd see the day when Rachel and Jesse had a more harmonious relationship than he and James.

The doorbell rings and Kurt's saved by the bell. He buzzes the newcomer up, suspecting it to be Blaine's brother and waits by the open front door for the elevator to reach his floor. Suddenly, he's face to face with Cooper Anderson, one of his high school crushes when Cooper was still doing commercials and Kurt had one of them set as his ringtone.

"Hi, hi I'm Kurt, please come in," he stutters and Cooper smiles at him with his charming 1000 watt smile.

"It's a pleasure, Kurt. Say, your friend Santana Lopez isn't here by any chance? I hear they're casting a new role for her show."

Kurt blinks at him. "Um, yes. Last I saw her she was making out with her girlfriend on my piano bench. But aren't you on a different show already?"

Just as with Santana's show he's watched Cooper's soap opera 'One hand, one heart' when he was staying home with the baby and had plenty of free time in the afternoon while Lexy napped.

"Can you believe they have plans to kill Dr. Ben Rogers in an elevator shaft and not bring him back this time around. Just because I accidentally hit on the producer's wife. But don't tell anyone. I could get sued if it ends up on 'Spoiler Watch'."

Kurt frantically shakes his head. Blaine was right, his brother is slightly crazy.

"Cooper!" Blaine's yell saves Kurt from being sucked deeper into Cooper Anderson's universe. "Behave or I'll never take you anywhere with me again."

Cooper mock salutes his brother, before he makes a beeline for Santana, who fortunately seems to know who he is. When Kurt returns to his seat, nearly ending up in Blaine's lap himself this time, he takes a long drag from his drink, his eyes moving swiftly from Blaine to Cooper and back, because how are those two relate? Apparently, he said the last part out loud because Blaine answers the question.

"Every time my mom is mad at my dad, she insinuates that the postman is responsible for Cooper, which is a lie of course, because the only reason my parents got married very young is because my mom got pregnant with Cooper her sophomore year of college after she and my dad had been dating for only a year. Cooper was such a handful they never wanted a second kid, but then nine years later they had another accident and I was born. Apparently, I was such a well behaved baby that my mom said that had she known she'd have a kid like me, she'd have had me years ago. They loved Cooper and I very much, even though neither of us had been planned and they like to joke that Cooper got my dad's wild college years genes and I got his settled, successful businessman genes," Blaine explains while his brother is fruitlessly flirting with Santana who luckily seems amused by his attempts.

"Must be nice to have a brother," Kurt says unthinkingly, but fortunately his high school friends aren't paying him any attention.

"You're a single child then?" Blaine asks and Kurt nods, because now is neither the time nor the place to get into the business of his stepbrother who died.

"Trust me, there are days I wish I'd be an only child too," Blaine jokes, not knowing that Kurt isn't an only child once again by choice and Kurt wonders whether he shouldn't just tell Blaine the whole story because if he knows Blaine at all, then his best friend will feel incredibly guilty for joking about that kind of thing in front of Kurt once he finds out about Finn.

"Some day soon I'll tell you why you don't really mean that," Kurt replies and Blaine studies him quietly for a moment.

"You know that you're my best friend, right? It's weird because we haven't even known each other for that long but with you I always feel like I can tell you anything. So I want you to know that you can tell me anything as well; that I would never judge you and would always try to help you should you need help."

Kurt only realizes that they are alone on the couch when Blaine stops talking and Kurt forces himself to look away from Blaine's sparkling brown eyes.

"You're my best friend too," he says then because he can't say what he really wants to say. Can't respond with 'I love you' because it isn't his place and Blaine would probably think he'd mean it as brotherly love; and there's nothing brotherly about the way he feels about Blaine, which has become a problem more and more.

It's also become increasingly clear to him over the past month that he isn't satisfied with the state of his marriage anymore; that he deserves more than a few affectionate gestures every time his husband graces Kurt with his presence and that Lexy deserves a second father who will fawn over her and keeps reminding people at a party to keep it down so they won't wake her. He deserves someone who treats him like Blaine treats him, even if it turns out that he and Blaine will never be together. In short, he deserves more and it's high time to make some decision about his future.

Out on his little balcony, Kurt books two tickets to Lima for the following weekend. Because one thing is certain; he won't do anything until after he's spoken to his dad. Because if he's really going to get a divorce, he'll need his family's full support.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note: <strong>Because most people I know celebrate Christmas on the 25th, I will try to update on the 22nd, 24th, 26th and 28th if I can finally finish chapter 9 which seems to hate me (that's what I get for not writing chronologically either) I'm visiting friends in London from the 29th to the 4th of January without my laptop because Ryan Air's luggage restrictions suck, so there won't be any updates while I'm gone, but I'm hoping to finish writing and uploading the story as soon as I'm back home.


	10. Chapter 8

**_CHAPTER 8_**

**February 2022**

They're back in Boston after a week of playing small town theaters on the New England coast to very differing audience reactions. Over all, people had responded positively, though not as well as everyone had hoped.

James is waiting for him outside of the theater, having come up from New York to watch Lexy per their agreement and to give Kurt a few hours to himself after working on changes to the show.

Blaine is with him as he leads Lexy outside, pushing her stroller and carrying Kurt's bag like the supporting friend he's been since Kurt told him about his impending divorce.

"Look, daddy James is here," Kurt tells his daughter who waves at his ex and runs over to him when Kurt gives her a little push, while he and Blaine follow at a more leisurely pace.

"Blaine, good to see you again," James greets him, and maybe Kurt really is paranoid, but whenever Blaine and James meet he gets the feeling that James doesn't like Blaine very much.

It would probably bother him more if they weren't getting a divorce – knowing that his husband and best friend don't get along - but as it is, James' approval or disapproval doesn't really matter anymore. They're already living separate lives and while Kurt is glad they parted on friendly terms, they both know the only reason they still talk as much as they do and see each other this often is because of their daughter. James will be a part of his life at least as long as Lexy is a child and can't take care of herself; so okay, maybe he actually wants James' approval, especially should he and Blaine ever find a way to get together.

"You too, man," Blaine replies, and Kurt barely refrains from rolling his eyes because Blaine is no better than James, always acting tougher and more macho than he is when he is around Kurt's ex.

Maybe he'd find it hot if he and Blaine were actually sleeping together and there was an actual reason for Blaine to get all possessive over him, but Blaine's unfortunately just a friend, so it's more annoying than anything else.

James actually rolls his eyes as he picks up Lexy.

"Say goodbye to your daddy, Alexandra."

"Bye Daddy, by Blay," Lexy surprises them all when she includes Blaine as well.

Though it shouldn't be all that surprising because Blaine had been the one to watch her during every show this past week and even before had been part of many outings.

"Goodbye, Miss Lexy. Kurt, I need to head back in," Blaine tells him, leaving Kurt alone with his soon to be ex-husband.

James' eyes stay on Blaine until he's rounded the corner before he turns to Kurt.

"Be honest, Kurt. Did you leave me for him?"

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and stares right back at James.

"I didn't cheat on you, if that's what you're asking."

James smiles softly and gives his right hand a brief squeeze.

"I know you didn't. You would have told me if you had."

James is right, because that had been the deal. If one of them strayed they had to tell the other, no matter how much it would hurt their relationship.

"But you have feelings for him," James continues and Kurt shrugs helplessly.

"I'm in love with him. I'm so sorry, but I can't help it. I love him and he has no idea. And I can't tell him, not with the baggage I come with."

James looks at him with something akin to pity in his eyes.

"I just hope you're happy, now that you've chosen this. Cause although we're over I only want the best for you."

Out of the corner of his eye Kurt thinks he spies a flash of black disappear behind the corner and his heart stops for a moment when he contemplates how much Blaine could have overheard.

"Thanks, James. I'm gonna pick Lexy up from your room around ten."

James nods and Kurt kisses Lexy's cheek before he hurries back inside to continue rehearsing the new song.

* * *

><p>If Blaine overheard anything, he doesn't bring it up, not when Kurt gets back on stage and not afterward when they're leaving the theater together, their gloved hands swinging dangerously close to the other. How he wishes he could just close the gap, but Blaine probably doesn't feel the same for him, because otherwise he could have made a move after Kurt told him about his impending divorce.<p>

"I didn't think we'd be done so soon, so I told James I would pick Lexy up at ten. Do you maybe wanna get a drink?" Kurt asks Blaine as they are walking toward the hotel they're staying at. "One of my friends from high school went to Harvard. I'm sure she could recommend a bar."

"Sorry, Kurt, not tonight, okay," Blaine replies, his eyes fixed on a man's back in front of them and Kurt's heart shatters into a million pieces. Because Blaine never says no to a drink with Kurt and him saying it now can only mean that he's overheard Kurt's talk with James after all.

**_March 2022_**

"So can I ask why you've been distant?" Kurt asks Blaine with trepidation when he finally manages to get him alone their last day of touring New England.

They're in New Haven, Connecticut, a city mostly known for being home to Yale University, the sky dark and cloudy as they leave the theater. Lexy is asleep in her stroller, exhausted from the constant changes in scenery and Kurt knows it will be incredibly good for her to return to New York and a regular schedule.

Blaine glances at Lexy as if to make sure she doesn't eavesdrop on their conversation. Do you even call it eavesdropping when talking about a nineteen months old, Kurt muses briefly.

"Is there anyone who could watch her so we can talk?" Blaine asks, his voice tight and avoiding eye contact like he's been doing since James was in town. Briefly, Kurt wonders if maybe James and Blaine had talked and things had turned sour. Still, he considers Blaine's question.

"Alessa is visiting Nick," he remembers. "I could ask her."

"Please," Blaine responds and if they were a couple Kurt would be certain that Blaine is gearing up for the break up talk with how serious he sounds.

Alessa, Nick's Italian girlfriend, is happy to watch Kurt's little angel – her words – and Kurt drops her off at Nick and Alessa's hotel room, before he follows Blaine to his room a floor up.

Inside, he copies Blaine and removes his coat before tentatively taking a seat on the edge of Blaine's bed as the only chair in the room is covered in pieces of paper.

"So what's up?" he forces himself to say, his voice shaking with nerves. Blaine wrings his hands before he sits down on the other side of the bed.

"I heard you talk to your husband last weekend," Blaine admits and Kurt fears the worst. "After I left I heard my name and I know it was wrong to listen to your private conversation, but I was curious."

It's as bad as Kurt's feared. His stomach is in knots and for a moment he feels like he can't breathe.

"Oh," he exhales, mind alarmingly empty. "How much did you hear?" Blaine smiles wryly.

"Enough to make me change the way I see you. Because Kurt, you really took me by surprise. I mean you were always my married best friend and that's the only way I ever saw you. I couldn't allow myself to see you any other way."

For the first time since entering Blaine's hotel room, Kurt feels a glimmer of hope. Because that doesn't sound like Blaine finds him repulsive.

"But I'm not married anymore," he says. "Well technically I still am, but only because getting a divorce takes a lot longer than I thought it would," Kurt adds jokingly. Blaine doesn't smile though.

"I want to make one thing very clear, Kurt. I care about you a lot. I've never met anyone like you before and before I met you I didn't even know I was missing someone like you in my life, but," he stops and Kurt barely refrains from yelling, "but what?!"

"But you've only _just _gotten out of a long term relationship and are in the middle of a divorce, so how can I be sure that what you're feeling isn't just a result of that?"

Kurt stares at Blaine like he's lost his mind.

"I've been in love with you since October, possibly even longer," he admits because the cat is out of the bag anyway, but Blaine gapes at him in shock.

"Since October?" he repeats incredulously and Kurt forces himself to keep eye contact as he nods.

"But I need you to know that I don't expect anything from you. I wouldn't even have told you, at least not until after my divorce is finalized," Kurt states, needing Blaine to understand that Kurt's not trying to pressure him into anything.

Blaine just keeps staring at him and if they were older, Kurt's would seriously consider whether Blaine didn't have a stroke.

"Please say something," he whispers pleadingly, his heart in his throat.

Blaine suddenly gets up and starts pacing the room. He keeps running a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture Kurt's very familiar with by now.

"Jesus, Kurt! You can't tell me you don't expect anything and then look at me like this," he exclaims.

"Like what?" Kurt frowns.

"Like making me feel like the biggest idiot for not seeing it. God, I kept calling people crazy who tried to convince me you had a crush on me. Because how could you? You're older, married _and_ have a kid."

Kurt's cheeks turn bright red and he buries his head in his hands, because oh my God, had he really been that obvious about his feelings for Blaine?

"I have to quit the show," he mumbles, his voice muffled by his hands, but Blaine apparently still understands him.

"Kurt, they were just teasing, mostly because they thought I had a crush on you."

They're on opposite sides of the room, but the distance between them feels bigger.

"Did you?" Kurt finally dares to ask after a silence that seems to last forever. Blaine sighs.

"I thought you were incredibly cute when you came in to audition. And your voice was just as astonishing as Jesse said it would be. But then you said you were married and had a kid and I adjusted the way I saw you. And I was dating Pablo," Blaine winces.

Kurt hates that Blaine's still dancing around the issue at hand and he's getting impatient because he really needs to know if there's a chance that they will happen or if he should just run back to his room now before he loses the rest of his pride.

"Blaine, just forget all that. Is there something here?"

For the longest minute of his life, Blaine just looks at him, obviously thinking hard about how he's going to phrase his answer and Kurt just knows that if Blaine says yes, he'll have to embellish the story of how they got together, because this right here is not romantic, this doesn't feel like the beginning of a great love story.

"There is," Blaine finally replies, but he isn't looking at Kurt. "And if you'd _only _broken up with your boyfriend a few months back, I wouldn't hesitate to ask you out. But Kurt, it isn't as easy as that. You're still married and then there's Lexy. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. Because no matter how slow we'd take this, eventually you'd expect me to raise her with you and I can't. Not now and maybe not ever. So if you'd be content with us just having a good time every now and then, I'd really be okay with that. But that's all I can offer you, I'm sorry. And Kurt, trust me, I've been thinking about nothing else since I heard you talking to James."

Kurt's shoulders slump. He wants to be angry with Blaine for not giving them a real chance just because he has a child, but unfortunately he understands. Because he isn't sure he would have reacted differently when he was Blaine's age. Still, he can't help but feel disappointed after all he's given up just so he could be with Blaine. Maybe disappointed isn't a strong enough word. Devastated is more what he feels like in this moment, though he can't allow himself to show it.

"I can't do friends with benefits with you," Kurt declares, "because I would always hope that you'd want more as well eventually. And I have Lexy to think of. I can only date someone who is serious about committing to both my daughter and I and if I can't find someone who's willing to do that, then I can only be with men who will never find out she even exists. But you can't be one of them. She's already become attached to you, so if we have to stay just friends for you not to suddenly disappear from our lives then that's what I'm going to take. It's going to take time though until I can see you as nothing more than a friend."

Blaine looks disappointed as well, but Kurt can't have sex with him knowing they'll never have more than that. No matter how much he wants to indulge at least once.

"I need some time alone," he tells Blaine. "So could you tell the others that Lexy wasn't feeling well so we took the train back."

"Kurt," Blaine pleads, but Kurt shakes his head.

"I'll see you Monday and we're going to be all right, but for the rest of the weekend I'm going to need junk food and cheesy rom coms to get over having my heart broken."

Blaine's eyes widen and Kurt rushes to add.

"I'm not angry with you for being honest with me and I'm not saying this to pressure or hurt you. But I'm feeling like shit and I will need time to get over it. So I will collect my daughter and go back to New York tonight. Hopefully, when we'll see each other again on Monday, I can act like nothing happened.

"I understand," Blaine concedes before pulling Kurt into a bone crushing hug that makes Kurt want to forget about all the reasons why giving in to Blaine's offer would be an awful idea. "Doesn't mean I don't wish things were different; easier."

Kurt leaves then, not wanting to cry in front of Blaine. Outside in the hallway, he sits down on the hopefully clean carpet and wraps his arms around his knees as tears start streaming down his face. It'd been easier to have hope when Blaine didn't know how Kurt felt about him, but now all he feels is hopeless and for a terrible moment he wishes he didn't have Lexy because then Blaine would want to be with him or he could at least drown his sorrows in alcohol instead of having to make sure his daughter gets home safe.

He doesn't know how long he sits in front of Blaine's closed door crying silent tears, but at least no other hotel guests walk by. Eventually, he wipes the tears from his eyes and takes the elevator down to the first floor. Kurt's certain that his eyes are red rimmed when he knocks on Nick's door, but he can't bring himself to care.

"She just woke up," Alessa informs him with a smile and if she notices that Kurt's been crying, she's nice enough not to comment on it. "Nick's in the shower," she adds as Lexy runs into his arms.

Kurt picks her up and takes her bag from Alessa.

"Thanks for watching her. And could you tell Nick I'm not feeling well, so I'm taking the next train back to New York."

Alessa nods and for a moment he thinks she's going to ask what's wrong, but then she just smiles and nods.

"Safe trip home. Hope you feel better soon," is all she says instead.

Back in his own room he quickly throws his and Lexy's belongings into his suitcase and double checks that he has all her toys. Downstairs, he thanks the hotel staff for organizing a crib for Lexy before taking a cab to the train station. Luckily, they get to the station just in time for the 7:46 train to New York. Travelling for nearly two weeks had unfortunately screwed up Lexy's sleep schedule, but by the time they get into Grand Central Station two hours later she's out like a light again.

Kurt thanks a young, college aged girl profusely when she helps him bring his suitcase outside so he can carry Lexy without having to wake her up once more - he'll have to get her stroller from the bus when the rest of the cast and crew gets in tomorrow afternoon – and thanks his lucky star when his next door neighbor Mrs. Fields gets home at the same time as Kurt pays his cab driver and offers to take his suitcase up.

Upstairs, he manages to put Lexy to bed without rousing her and once he's certain she isn't going to wake up again, he pulls a carton of vanilla ice cream from the freezer and pours himself a very generous glass of red wine.

The next morning, he wakes up on the couch in yesterday's clothes when he hears Lexy calling for him through the baby monitor he had the presence of mind to turn on before passing out the previous night.

Sadly, waking up also means remembering last night's events and Kurt bursts into tears once more though he's embarrassed by how much Blaine's rejection is affecting him. There's no way he can take care of his daughter like this or see Blaine. So he pushes aside his pride and texts Jesse to ask him to bring Lexy's stroller to his and Rachel's apartment before he calls Rachel to beg her to watch Lexy for the rest of the day.

"I'll pick her up in an hour," Rachel promises, "and tonight when you come to get her, you're going to tell me why you sound like you've spent the night crying."

All his friends know about his divorce, but Kurt hasn't told a single one of them about his feelings for Blaine. Only his dad and Carole know about them and he doesn't want to change that, especially now. He's known Rachel for years though and is aware that once she's smelled blood she won't give up until Kurt spills his guts to her.

"Fine," he agrees, " but you better have cheesecake waiting for me."

After all, he plans to stuff his face with ice cream and other junk food during the day, so a change of comfort food for dinner will be in order.

* * *

><p>"Is there some kind of bug going around?" Jesse greets them as he maneuvers Kurt's stroller through the door, his suitcase balance on top precariously.<p>

Rachel kisses him while Kurt furrows his brows in confusion.

"What?"

"Well, last night, Blaine said that Lexy wasn't feeling well and then Alessa said that you are also sick. And this morning, Blaine took the first train back to New York claiming he wasn't feeling well either after refusing to go out with us last night," Jesse explains and Rachel gives Kurt a knowing look.

"Don't worry, baby. The only sickness going around is heart sickness," she winks at Kurt who glares at her in return. Jesse frowns.

"Did you and Blaine break up?" he asks and Kurt nearly spits the wine in his mouth back into his nearly empty glass.

"Wha, what?" he stammers, his cheeks flushing and hands shaking.

"Oh, no, you did. I'm sorry man. We were all rooting for you guys."

Kurt can't believe what he's hearing because this is so much worse than everyone thinking he has a crush on Blaine.

"You knew about Kurt and Blaine and didn't tell me!" Rachel screeches and smacks Jesse's shoulder, and Kurt listens with baited breath, but thankfully, Lexy doesn't wake up. Jesse shrugs.

"I thought he told you, but swore you to secrecy. Though, I have to say I was surprised you stayed quiet," Jesse adds and Rachel huffs.

"I can keep secrets. I didn't tell anyone for weeks when we got back together," she argues.

"But only because you knew your friends wouldn't like it."

"Guy, guys!" Kurt interrupts their bickering because they have more important things to discuss. "Blaine and I are not together, we've never been together and we never will be together."

Rachel and Jesse shut up immediately and stare at Kurt who blushes after his outburst.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I can tell you really like him," Jesse says and unexpectedly pats Kurt's shoulder. They get along surprisingly well during rehearsals, but they aren't usually affectionate with one another.

Somehow, Kurt ends up between Rachel and Jesse on the couch, alternately crying on both their shoulders as he tells Jesse what he's already told Rachel about his conversation with Blaine.

"Maybe he'll change his mind," Rachel tries to comfort him, but Kurt can't see it happen because Blaine had seemed pretty certain in his conviction that he can't be with a man with a kid.

"No he won't," he sobs before wiping the tears from his eyes. "But it's going to be okay. He's still my best friend and amazing with Lexy. As long as I don't lose that I'm going to be all right," he tries to convince himself, hoping that one day he'll believe it too.

* * *

><p>Kurt's dreading seeing Blaine the next day at their meeting to discuss their trial run and the changes Blaine will have to make to the musical to get it Broadway ready.<p>

Katie shows up at eleven as usual though, after having two weeks off, and at least Lexy is happy to see her. His daughter runs into Katie's arms as soon as she's through the door, babbling excitedly about her adventures.

"Did you have a good time while we were gone?" Kurt asks her as he buttons his coat and slips into his boots. His workout clothes are still in the dryer but fortunately there will be no rehearsal today because Kurt isn't in the right mindset to convincingly play his part.

"Just a lot of studying unfortunately," Katie grimaces. "Who knew getting my masters would be so much work."

Kurt gives her a sympathetic smile, glad he didn't go for a master's degree of his own.

"I'm sure you'll do great as usual," he assures her before kissing his daughter's cheek and leaving the apartment to face the music so to speak.

Blaine's already at the studio when Kurt arrives but thankfully in deep conversation with Nick and Dakota. When Jesse waves him over, Kurt sits down next to him and Greg, Jesse's understudy, who's recounting how he got lost on the way to their hotel.

"…so yeah, never drinking Tequila again," Greg concludes, rubbing a bruise on his elbow.

"Seems like I missed out on a fun night," Kurt remarks and Jesse laughs when Greg winces.

"You feeling better?" Greg turns to Kurt who nods, not wanting to get into it.

"I'm good," he says as his eyes meet Blaine's, who gives him a shy smile before returning to his conversation.

"Probably the fish," Greg continues," cause I think only you and Blaine had it for dinner."

"Right," Kurt nods again, grateful when Nicky, one of the dancers, falls into the chair next to Greg and Greg recounts once more how he got his bruises.

"Listen up," Blaine takes the floor, effectively shutting up all conversations. "We had a good two weeks. We didn't do as well as I had hoped but this gives us the opportunity to iron out the kinks thanks to the nice people who gave us feedback after the shows. So for today, we only want to go over the changes Nick and I have already talked about, but afterward you'll have the rest of the week off so I can go back to writing," he announces and Kurt releases a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.

Getting a few days off means he can go to Lima and see his dad; get a much-needed hug after the weekend he's had.

"Hey Blaine," Kurt approaches him when their meeting is over. "You don't need me in New York this week, right? I was hoping I could go and see my dad."

Blaine's face falls and Kurt's quick to assure him that his sudden decision to fly to Ohio has nothing to do with them. (Even if it does.)

"It's just that I haven't seen him since Christmas and who knows when I'll get the chance again," he explains and Blaine nods.

"I can ask Kyle to help me out if I need to hear how a song sounds," he assures Kurt.

Kyle is Kurt's twenty-six year old, thankfully very straight and engaged understudy who he knows from NYU. Otherwise, he might be jealous knowing that Kyle will probably spend some one on one time with Blaine while he's in Ohio. And Kurt doesn't want to be that guy, especially because Kyle is really great and Kurt has already planned to miss a few shows so his understudy can have his moment to shine as well.

"Thanks, I'll see you next Monday then. And Blaine, I'm only a phone call away if you want me to listen to something or try a song for you. You know how much I like giving you feedback."

Kurt stops himself from winking just in time because flirting with Blaine is so not what he should be doing right now.

"I will," Blaine promises and for a second Kurt thinks he's going to hug him but then Blaine settles on an awkward wave, which makes Kurt wince internally.

No matter how much they may pretend that they're okay, they clearly aren't.

* * *

><p>Lexy is a nightmare on the flight to Columbus and Kurt apologizes multiple times to the older woman sitting next to him, when Lexy knocks over her coffee trying to climb into Kurt's lap. His daughter just won't sit still, alternating between wanting to sit by the window or have Kurt take the window seat. She's also loud and no matter what Kurt tells her or tries to bribe her with, she just won't shut up.<p>

Somewhere over Pennsylvania, she starts kicking the seat in front of her and Kurt wishes back the times when she spent the whole flight sleeping.

"Stop it!" he hisses, aware that more than one pair of eyes are on him. He's also pretty sure he's heard someone mutter that kids shouldn't raise kids, which he takes as a compliment on his youthful appearance though. "If you keep kicking the seat, I'm going to leave you in Ohio."

He certainly isn't proud of himself in that moment but at least his nineteen months old stops kicking. Unfortunately, she starts crying instead and Kurt begins to regret his decision to visit his dad.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Daddy didn't mean it," he pleads quietly as Lexy keeps wailing and the lady in the next seat glares at him.

By the time Burt picks them up at the airport, Kurt's exhausted and Lexy's still crying in her stroller. Luckily, another kid close by is throwing a proper temper tantrum and drawing attention away from Kurt.

Of course his daughter quiets immediately when her grandpa lifts her from the stroller and Kurt gives his dad a grateful smile when he hands Kurt the keys to the car so he can sit in the back with his granddaughter.

"I wanted to strangle her on the plane," Kurt confesses later that night when Lexy's asleep and Carole out with friends from work. "But I knew she's just cranky because I've been dragging her around the country for the past two weeks."

"Kids her age are never easy but I know you're doing your best with her," his dad comforts him and Kurt slumps back against the couch.

"I really hope so."

"So why the surprise visit?" his dad changes the subject. "Got something to tell me? You and that guy you like?" Kurt sighs.

"The opposite actually. He found out about my feelings."

"I take it it didn't go so well?" Burt asks as he pulls a bottle of Bourbon from the liquor cabinet and pours two glasses.

"You can say that," Kurt nods. "He's interested but he doesn't want to be with me because of Lexy, Said it would be too much responsibility."

"Well. He is right, ain't he? Raising a kid is a lot of responsibility even when you have help," his dad remarks, but right now Kurt wishes his dad wouldn't be the voice of reason. "But for what it's worth, I'm really sorry kiddo. I was rooting for; was hoping this guy would make you happy."

"Me too, Dad. Me too," Kurt sighs, before he downs his glass in one go, revelling in the burn.

"So what's the plan now? James isn't giving you trouble with the divorce?" Burt changes the subject again and Kurt shakes his head.

"No. Everything should go smoothly once we can sign the papers and so far he's been good about taking Lexy out when he's in town. As for plans, I don't know Dad. Keep being friends with Blaine, hopefully get on Broadway and maybe meet someone one day who's ready for the responsibility of raising a child with me." Burt nods.

"She knows what's going on?"

"I don't think she's old enough to understand it. And James was never around much before either so at least it isn't too much of a change for her. She never asks about him either, so yeah, at least the transition was easy."

Eventually, he'll have to explain to her that her daddies aren't together anymore, but Kurt hopes that it will be a while before she can fully comprehend it.

"Oh, before I forget. An invitation to your ten year high school reunion came in the mail today. Are you panning on going?" his dad hands him an envelope containing a picture of Kurt's graduating class of 2012.

Kurt considers it for a moment. On the one hand, he really doesn't want to see the assholes who made his life a living hell all through high school, especially now that he's getting divorced, but on the other hand, it's been ages since he's last seen Mercedes and Artie Abrams who both live in L.A or his friends Tina and Mike who according to Facebook have recently gotten engaged up in Chicago. Tina and Mike are high school sweethearts just like Brittany and Santana, and sometimes he wonders what his life would be like if he and Blaine were the same age and had met in high school; maybe at a show choir competition or when Kurt had driven up to Dalton after a particularly bad day at school to check out the safe haven for queer teens in Ohio that his dad could never have afforded. He tries not to think about his brother who never even got to graduate from college and in the end, his desire to see old friends again wins out. And if Kurt's lucky, his former tormentors will have ended up exactly as he had predicted in high school.

"Yeah, I'll go. Santana and Rachel would rip my head off anyway if I didn't come with them."

"Good, good. Another visit to look forward to then," his dad smiles brightly and Kurt leans into the embrace, inhaling the familiar smell of motor oil stuck to his dad's flannel shirt.

AN: Don't hate Blaine, I bet most 23 year olds would say the same...


	11. Chapter 9

AN: This chapter kicked my butt and I'm not very happy with it, but no matter what I tried it also refused to improve. Unfortunately, I needed a transitional chapter, otherwise I would have scraped it all together...

**_CHAPTER 9_**

**_March 2022_**

Blaine doesn't call while Kurt is visiting with his parents, but he can't say he's surprised after how they left things, with Kurt pretty much fleeing the state to avoid any awkward encounters with the man he's in 'unrequited love' with.

Sunday night, thankfully late enough for Lexy to be tired and hopefully asleep on the plane, Burt and Carole drive him back to the airport.

"Do you think you can come visit again before your reunion or do Carole and I have to come to New York next?" his dad asks as Kurt takes his and Lexy's luggage from the trunk of Burt's car.

"I'm not sure. It depends on what's going to happen with the musical. As far as I know, the producers are in talks with potential co-producers with connections to the 'Gershwin Theater'." Burt furrows his brows.

"That names sounds familiar. Is that the theater you and your friends 'visited' when your Glee club went to New York?"

With the way his dad emphasizes 'visited', Kurt's pretty sure that Burt knows that what he, Santana, Brittany and Rachel had done when they'd travelled to New York for show choir nationals their junior year of high school, hadn't been totally legal.

"You didn't have trouble during your visit, right?" Next to Burt, Carole is sniggering behind the hand pressed to her mouth and Kurt just knows that his stepbrother had ratted them out all those years ago.

"Oh my God, Dad! It's not like I got banned from the theater or something. That guard didn't even know our names. He was actually pretty nice when he told us that we had one minute to get out before he called the police," Kurt confesses more than ten years after the fact. His dad pats his shoulder.

"I know kiddo. 'Cause trust me, we would have talked about this had the police been involved," he says while Kurt puts a sleepy Lexy into her stroller.

"So that would be a big deal for you then, right?" Carole takes over after giving her granddaughter a kiss goodbye. "Getting this theater."

Kurt nods. "I don't think Blaine would have started re-writes immediately after the previews if they didn't have a serious offer from somewhere. But I guess we'll find out soon enough."

After hugs and kisses from both of his parents, Kurt quickly checks his luggage, glad that his online check in lets him jump the line, before making his way through security. His phone pings just as he's putting his belt back on and Kurt digs it out of his bag to find a text message from Blaine. It's the first time he's hearing from the other man since Kurt left him at their rehearsal space and his hand shakes slightly as he unlocks his phone to get to Blaine's full message.

_Kurt, hope you had a good time with your family and a chance to relax. Kyle was a great help while you were gone, but I'm looking forward to working on the changes with you. If you're already back in the city, can we meet up so I can catch you up? And if not – when will you be back? With my timing you're probably in the air right now ;) Anyway, let me know what's going on and I'll definitely see you tomorrow at 11 if not tonight. Blaine._

Kurt replies without thinking, a deeply ingrained reflex after months of friendship.

_ Security Check Columbus Airport. Back home around 10._

When he doesn't hear back from Blaine immediately, Kurt switches his phone to flight mode and pockets it before pushing Lexy toward their gate.

Shortly before ten, they land in New York after a thankfully uneventful flight and Kurt breathes a sigh of relief when his daughter doesn't wake up when he transfers her from her seat back into her stroller and thanks the flight attendant following with Kurt's carry on luggage. Inside the terminal, while waiting for his checked bag, he turns his phone back on and finds a new message from Blaine.

_Please tell me you're flying into LaGuardia and I'm not at the wrong airport._

Kurt looks around, scanning the crowd for a familiar mop of curly hair and his treacherous heart, which apparently hasn't gotten the memo yet, skips a beat when he spots Blaine walking toward him in formfitting Diesel jeans, dark brown ankle boots Kurt had given Blaine for Christmas and the dark blue pea coat Kurt loves on him.

"What are you doing here?" he asks quietly, which is all kinds of ridiculous because if the noise on the main concourse hasn't woken Lexy yet, then this conversation shouldn't either.

The conveyor belt starts to move then and Kurt nearly trips over his carry on in his hurry to get to the first suitcase coming his way, which miraculously is his. Blaine reaches out a hand to steady him and Kurt recoils like he's been burned. He doesn't turn around to see the look in Blaine's eyes after Kurt's overreaction.

"I wanted to talk to you before rehearsal tomorrow, make sure you're in the loop as well," Blaine says emotionlessly before he adds, "and I remembered you telling me how much of a hassle flying with a young kid was when you're on your own so I thought I could help you out by picking you up from the airport."

Kurt feels like the worst person ever; making Blaine feel bad for his friendly gesture after Kurt assured him they would continue being best friends after he had his weekend to wallow. And now it's a week later and no matter how much he wants it, nothing feels the same. He doesn't know if it's still okay to casually touch Blaine or let Blaine casually touch him now that Blaine knows the truth; doesn't know what's acceptable behavior and what's not for best friends where one is in love with the other. It's unexplored territory that Kurt is stumbling onto without a map or survival kit.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," he settles on for the moment and doesn't protest when Blaine hefts Kurt's suitcase – doing the second round – from the conveyor belt. His messenger bag and Lexy's backpack stored under the stroller, he tries to grab the handle of his carry on again, but Blaine pushes his hand away.

"Let me," he says and Kurt nods because it is nice not having to struggle and not having to worry that whoever he asks to take his suitcases will run off with them.

Outside the airport, Blaine leads them to the waiting taxis and surprises Kurt by getting the car seat part of Lexy's stroller out on the first try _and_ without waking her. Once Kurt's daughter is secured and the luggage in the trunk, Kurt squeezes into the middle, Blaine's thigh pressing against Kurt's because neither of them wanted to take the front seat and Kurt takes a few calming breaths.

"So tell me about your week," he smiles at Blaine, forcing his feelings for the other man to the back of his mind and trying to reset his brain to just friends mode.

"I think you're going to like what I wrote for you to replace the number you and everyone else seemed to hate," Blaine smiles back as the car pulls away from the airport, looking relieved that Kurt's no longer giving him the cold shoulder.

Honesty has always been part of their friendship and so Kurt steels himself before telling Blaine what's on his mind.

"If I'm acting weird or distant or just no being myself, please don't give up on me or our friendship. This is so important to me and I don't know what I would do if I lost you as a friend as well," he confesses before glaring at the eavesdropping cab driver through the rearview mirror.

When Blaine takes both of his hands, Kurt fights the impulse to pull back and angles his body so he can look at his best friend. _See, brain successfully reset._

"Kurt, this is, uh, awkward for me as well, but you're my best friend and that's not going to change. I won't let it, okay. This friendship is way too important to me as well."

Even if it's not what he really wants with Blaine it makes him feel better to know that the other man isn't going anywhere and hopefully in time, Kurt will learn how to act like a normal person again.

**_April 2022_**

"How are things with Blaine?" Melissa asks after Kurt puts Lexy down in the play corner with her toy cars and blocks.

"Better. At least I stopped flinching every time he touches me," Kurt replies distractedly while he searches his bag for his wallet.

"Good. I'm sorry things didn't work out, but it's good that you're moving on instead of clinging to false hope just because you're friends with a touchy-feely guy."

As he waits in line to order his coffee he considers what Melissa said. No matter how hard he tries to see Blaine as just as friend, he most certainly isn't over him, is still head over heels for his sort of boss, But it's not because he thinks Blaine will change his mind because Blaine had been adamant about Lexy being a deal breaker. It's just difficult to fall out of love with a man who acts like they're one big happy family when he's out with Kurt and Lexy just without the physical intimacy they would share as a couple; when Blaine still hugs him tightly and grabs his hand when he wants to show Kurt something, or rests his head on Kurt's shoulder when they're watching a movie together.

When he returns to the table with a steaming cup of coffee and a chocolate chip cookie, an unfamiliar man sits next to Melissa. He looks like he's in his late thirties with lightly greying hair at his temple, wearing a tailored but boring suit.

"Kurt, Tom. You both have kids, are going through a divorce and are fairly attractive. You should talk."

Kurt gapes at his friend who winks at him before turning around and leaving Kurt with a stranger. Tom smiles at him.

"To be fair, I already know quite a lot about you because I work with Melissa and been asking her if she doesn't know guys I could meet. So let me tell you something about me. My name's Tom Wells, 39, corporate lawyer and father of a seven year old boy. And if all goes well, I'll finally be divorced next months."

Kurt's going to kill Melissa. Because he's not ready to go on dates, not when his heart belongs to one man and he's in the process of divorcing another. Tom looks a bit nervous though, so Kurt doesn't have it in him to just get up and leave. The least he can do is talk to the guy and they have a lot in common so maybe it won't be too bad. After all, he's never met another divorced gay guy before.

"How long have you been married, Tom?" Tom grimaces.

"Nearly fourteen years."

"Wow," Kurt replies. "I'm guessing Massachusetts." Tom frowns.

"No, I'm from West Virginia and my family wanted me to get married in my home state."

Kurt blinks. Did Melissa set him up with a bi guy or some guy who wants to experiment?

"Can I ask why you're getting divorced?" Not that he's interested in dating Tom, but now he's curious. Because when he gets back into the game eventually, guys like Tom will be part of his dating pool.

"My father died recently, so I could finally ask my wife for a divorce without losing my third trust fund," Tom explains.

"So you married a woman, because…?" Kurt asks wide eyed.

"I wouldn't have gotten the trust fund that wasn't designated for college otherwise," Tom nods. "My stupid grandfather unfortunately had stipulated that the recipient had to be married to receive the five million and the marriage had to take place in the family church. I knew my ex-wife had been crushing on me since high school so I did _her_ a favor really when I asked her to marry me."

Instead of feeling bad for Tom who thought he had to stay in the closet to get what he wanted, Kurt only feels bad for Tom's wife who'd been used when she was convenient and discarded when she became unnecessary. While Tom keeps going on about how he tricked both his father and his grandfather, Kurt pulls his phone out of his pocket under the table and goes to 'settings'. Carefully and out of sight he clicks on 'sounds', makes sure his phone isn't on vibrate and selects the first ring tone on the list. When Lady Gaga's oldie 'Applause' blares from his lap, Kurt smiles at Tom apologetically.

"I'm sorry but I have to take this. It's the theater," Kurt excuses himself to take the fake call. When he returns, he makes sure to school his expression into something resembling disappointment.

"I'm sorry Tom, but I've got to head into work. It was nice to meet you though (not) and if my husband and I hadn't decided to give our marriage another shot, I'd be happy to see you again. (in your dreams) So best of luck to you and have a good afternoon."

Fortunately, Tom takes this as his cue to leave, so Kurt can take his time putting Lexy into her jacket and packing her toys into her backpack before walking her outside while he texts Melissa.

_Please, please, please, never try to set me up again._

* * *

><p>The next few weeks mainly consist of learning new songs, choreography and dialogue that Blaine and Dakota heap on them almost daily. Every Thursday, the cast and crew still goes out together, and Kurt finds himself spending more and more time with Jesse, who's bored out of his mind because Rachel is out of town and because he still doesn't know how to act around Blaine after their conversation. They are both trying, making sure they still spend as much time together as before, but it's not the same. Kurt's second guessing every touch and every smile, afraid to come on too strong when Blaine made it clear that he's not interested in a serious relationship, and having to remind himself that Blaine's affectionate with everyone and his smiles and touches don't indicate a change of mind.<p>

Those Sundays, when James takes Lexy out, Kurt makes sure to things for himself, something he had neglected for the past year and a half, catching matinees of musicals and plays, brunch with the girls or just spending an afternoon on the couch with a book. Even though, he's heart is still broken, he's content with how his life is at the moment. James is spending more time with their daughter than he ever had when they were together, the musical is close to securing a Broadway theater, his parents and Lexy are both healthy and he has a group of great friends who are always there for him when he needs them. It's not what he thought his life would be like at this point of his life, but after the tumultuous last year he can honestly say that he is content.

Six weeks after their out of town previews it gets even better…

Kurt's on the couch, watching 'Tangled' with his daughter when there is a loud knock on the door.

"Hey Kurt, open up!" Blaine calls through the door, apparently having made his way into the building without Kurt buzzing him up.

Lexy turns to the door as well.

"Blay, Blay," she bounces in her seat excitedly and Kurt ruffles her hair before he gets up to open the door for Blaine.

When he unlocks the door he is greeted with a grinning Blaine holding a bottle of Champagne in his hand.

"Call your babysitter, we're going out tonight," he says in lieu of a greeting and thrusts the bottle into Kurt's hand.

"Um, why?" Kurt frowns. Katie is out of town visiting family and he isn't sure he can get one of his friends to watch Lexy last minute if this isn't an emergency.

"We just signed the contracts," Blaine beams. "The Gershwin is ours starting June 10!"

"Seriously?" Kurt yells, startling Lexy who's still watching the television, before he pretty much jumps into Blaine's arms, forgetting for once that maybe he shouldn't do that anymore.

Blaine just nods frantically.

"So we're all going out to celebrate tonight. Call your friends and tell them to meet us at 9 at 34th and 7th so they can proper celebrate your success."

Kurt considers his options for a moment because there is no way he is missing this party, not after he'd been dreaming about getting a lead on Broadway for half of his life.

"I'll figure something out," Kurt promises before he hugs Blaine again, because this is so fucking awesome. A real Broadway theater!

Blaine waves goodbye to Lexy before he pretty much bounces out of Kurt's apartment, leaving Kurt with the task of convincing his ex-husband to watch their daughter over night, because he wants everyone else who could watch her at this party with him.

James picks up on the second ring.

"I have a huge favor to ask of you," Kurt opens with right away, because beating around the bush won't help him here. "Something big has come up, so I need you to come and get Lexy and keep her over night. I wouldn't ask if it weren't important."

James sighs. "I have plans too, you know."

"And I've been rearranging my schedule to accommodate yours for most of our marriage, so please do this for me."

"Fine. I can be at your place in two hours," James concedes. "But next time call me sooner."

After making sure, Lexy is still engrossed with 'Tangled', Kurt heads into the bathroom for a quick shower before styling his hair with copious amounts of hairspray while texting Santana and Brittany.

Unfortunately, he has no idea what to wear once he stands in front of his closet because it's been forever since he's been clubbing and a text to Blaine had confirmed that they were indeed heading to a club.

After he's finally satisfied with his outfit, he quickly packs Lexy's pajamas, toys, and diapers into a bag for James who knocks only moments later. His ex still has keys to the apartment, but Kurt appreciates that he is knocking and not just coming in when he knows that Kurt is home.

James greets them with a kiss on the cheek for Kurt and a hug for Lexy, before he picks up her bag while Kurt helps her into her shoes.

"There's something I need to do tomorrow, so please pick her up before ten," James tells him and Kurt nods, glad that James is taking her in the first place. "Oh, and I got the papers in the mail today. I thought we could go over them together tomorrow before we sign them."

"I'll check the mail box on the way out," Kurt replies as he pulls Lexy into his arms.

"Sweetie, you're spending the night with Daddy James. I'll call to say goodnight before you go to bed, okay."

"Okay, bye Daddy," she says before she takes James' hand and follows him out of the apartment.

Kurt follows a few minutes later, after making sure he has everything he needs for a night out. In his mailbox downstairs is a large envelope from his lawyers, which Kurt decides to pick up when he gets home from the club.

_Fitting, _he thinks as he walks toward the closest subway stop, _that I'm celebrating new beginnings the day I can officially end my marriage._

* * *

><p>Happy Holidays, Frohe Weihnachten, Joyeux Noël, Feliz Navidad, Buon Natale, Veselé Vánoce, Wesołych Świąt, Selamat Natal, God Jul... and that's all I know. If you're not included, tell me how you say Merry Christmas in your language :)<p> 


	12. Chapter 10

**_CHAPTER 10_**

He's not sure how it happens, but he suddenly finds himself pressed against a sticky wall in a dark corner, his heart beating to the rhythm of the thumping bass of the club they've chosen to celebrate getting a Broadway theater after nearly two months of reworking the script, staging and songs.

Blaine is trailing kisses down his neck, his hands digging into Kurt's hips above the waistband of his tight black jeans, specifically picked because of how amazing his ass looks in them. Not that he'd planned for this to happen. In fact, it's on the top of his list of things not supposed to happen. _Ever. _Because Blaine had made it quite clear that he isn't interested in dating a man with a child.

So why isn't Kurt pushing him away? Why is he leaning into the touch, running his fingers through Blaine's mop of curly hair? Why does something so wrong have to feel so right?

Blaine nips on his bottom lip, his tongue immediately soothing the sting before licking into Kurt's mouth. Kurt blames it on the tequila shots they had earlier that he sucks on it eagerly, kissing Blaine with the passion of a man who hasn't kissed anyone in months; like Blaine is a drop of water in the desert.

It's Santana's shout of 'get some, Hummel!' that jump starts his brain, makes the blood rush north again, before he does something much worse like drag Blaine to the nearest bathroom to finish what they started.

"We can't," he pants, cursing his own morals and his feelings for Blaine, which sadly didn't go away after Blaine rejected him. "I like you too much to have a meaningless one night stand with you."

"It wouldn't be meaningless," Blaine whines, before sucking on Kurt's earlobe and making him question for a second why he wants to stop this.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, but I told you what I need from you. I can't do this without commitment, without knowing that you're still gonna be there when things get serious."

Blaine hangs his head.

"God, you're amazing, Kurt, but I'm not ready to be a father. I'm twenty-three."

They've had this talk before when Blaine had confessed to eavesdropping on Kurt and James conversation in Boston.

"I know," Kurt sighs. "But if I can't have all of you, I can't have you all. I would hurt too much."

Blaine presses a chaste kiss to Kurt's lips.

"I really am sorry, Kurt. I like you a lot and Lexy is such a sweet girl, and maybe if I were older things would be different. But right now, all I can offer you is having fun and seeing how it goes without strings attached."

Kurt looks away. "I think I should go home," he says thickly, even though he has no reason to rush home, because Lexy is spending the night with James.

"Don't," Blaine begs. "This celebration is for both of us and it wouldn't feel right if you left early. I'll behave, I promise."

"Okay," Kurt concedes. "But only if you get me another drink."

"Deal," Blaine smiles and Kurt watches as he makes his way to the bar, having to push through the throng of people gyrating on the dance floor.

"What are you still doing here?" Santana yells when Kurt returns to their table. "I thought you and Anderson left already after that little display."

Fortunately, the rest of the table is incredibly drunk already and not paying Santana any attention. Still, Kurt glares at her.

"You know why I can't," he hisses after making sure that Blaine is still stuck at the bar, trying to flag down a bartender.

"Because he doesn't want to play house with you. But I say fuck it, or better, fuck him. For once, live a little. You're not even divorced yet, so stop planning your next wedding. You think he's hot, he thinks you're hot, so just go for it and see what happens. Maybe he'll get so addicted to your dick he won't mind the little one anymore."

Kurt rolls his eyes and accepts his drink from Blaine who hopefully didn't listen to Kurt's conversation again.

"Don't think we're done talking," Santana threatens, but Kurt choses to ignore her and downs his drink in one go. If he wants to survive this night with his heart intact, he needs to get shit faced.

* * *

><p>He regrets his decision when he wakes up the next morning next to an equally hungover Blaine who has his hands pressed against his head. To make matters worse, it's already after eleven, an hour after he was supposed to get Lexy from James, and judging from the décor in the room, he's at Blaine's apartment, at least half an hour away from James' new place.<p>

"What happened?" Kurt groans before nausea overtakes him and he stumbles out of bed to a door hopefully leading to the bathroom and not to Blaine's walk-in closet.

After heaving a sigh of relief, he empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet before taking stock of himself. He's still wearing his dark grey Calvin Klein boxer briefs paired with a washed out Dalton Academy T-shirt. So, unless he's had the presence of mind to get redressed after having sex, it's looking good that all he did was crash at Blaine's.

Back in Blaine's bedroom, Blaine hands him a glass of water and two aspirin.

"You got really drunk last night, so Santana put you into a cab with me," Blaine explains as Kurt swallows down the pills and tries to locate his cell phone. "You, uh, got kinda clingy in the cab, so I offered to let you sleep here because you didn't want to go home. And, uh, you didn't want me to take the couch and insisted we share the bed. But I promise nothing happened. I was a perfect gentleman," Blaine winks. "And you passed out as soon as you had changed."

Kurt groans, completely mortified. First, he rejected Blaine and then he basically invited himself over. But at least nothing happened, because otherwise he isn't sure if could still see Blaine every day without falling to pieces.

"Have you seen my phone? I was supposed to pick up Lexy an hour ago," he swiftly changes the subject.

Blaine winces and Kurt fears the worst. Had he ended up drunk dialing people?

"It started ringing around ten and you pretty much threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't make the noise stop. But it was James so I thought it best to answer the call."

"Great," Kurt moans. "After I told him there's nothing going on between us."

"Well, it's none of his business, right?"

"Let's just say that he's more interested in Lexy's wellbeing now that we've split up and by extension the people I let into her life."

"What a jerk," Blaine mumbles, but Kurt lets it go, because James and Blaine didn't like each other from the start; long before Kurt could have accused either of them of jealousy.

"But, oh, before I forget, he's bringing her here at noon because of some appointment he can't get out of," Blaine adds.

"What?" Kurt screeches. "Is he crazy? He can't just bring her here; it's only going to confuse her."

"Kurt, she's not even two. I'm sure she won't think anything of it."

If Blaine were his boyfriend he'd probably argue with him about not knowing Lexy well enough to make this kind of statement, which is basically the reason Blaine isn't his boyfriend. Because Blaine doesn't want to know Lexy well enough to make correct assumptions about her.

"Whatever," he dismisses Blaine. "She can't see me like this. Can I use your shower?"

His head is still pounding, he didn't brush his teeth after throwing up and his party clothes are not the right attire to be around his daughter.

Kurt gratefully accepts a fresh towel and after some digging, Blaine manages to unearth a brand new toothbrush in one of his cupboards.

"I can lend you some clothes as well," he offers when he catches Kurt eying his tight jeans and revealing top in distain.

Kurt's brief anger with Blaine disappears immediately because Blaine's being such a good friend even after Kurt allowed them to make out before rejecting Blaine.

"Thanks," he mumbles softly before closing the door behind him.

The hot shower helps a bit and he feels more human by the time James rings the bell; dressed in loose fitting blue jeans and an oversized Dalton Academy hoodie. Blaine disappears into his music room to let Kurt deal with his ex, which is very much appreciated.

"Daddy," Lexy squeals and throws herself at Kurt when he opens the front door and he picks her up and presses his faces into her soft blond hair.

"Did you have fun with daddy James?" he asks her and Lexy nods.

"Daddy, Paul, park," she babbles.

Kurt raises his eyebrows in question.

"Paul?"

"Oh, don't start Kurt. I just had to drop her off at you lover's apartment because you couldn't get out of bed on time. All I did was take her to the park with Paul because I didn't want to cancel my date last minute. If you'd asked me earlier, I wouldn't have had to bring my kid to a second date."

"Lexy," Kurt puts his daughter down. "Why don't you go say hello to Blaine."

He points to the door leading to Blaine's music room and watches her take off. Once Blaine has closed the door behind her, he turns to James.

"First of all, Blaine's not my lover. I just had too much to drink last night and Blaine let me crash on his couch because as I said I was fucking wasted," he hisses. "And secondly, even if he were my lover, it would be none of your business. You're dating yourself after all."

"Yeah, but I'm not dating a child, who's just going to lose interest in you and Alexandra the moment things get serious," James shoots back.

"Well, it's good then that we aren't dating for that exact reason. So you have nothing to worry about." After a beat. "You know what, James? If you'd been this interested in Lexy's wellbeing when we were still together, I may have never asked you for a divorce."

"And if you hadn't insisted on having her in the first place, we could now just go our separate ways without having to see each other anymore. So, I guess we're both stuck now."

It's the most vicious they've ever been and Kurt is suddenly glad that all they have to do is sign the divorce papers still in his mail box before their lawyers submit them to court.

"You should leave before we both say something we won't be able to take back," Kurt tells James, the calm of his voice betraying how he really feels. "We've managed to stay friends this far and I would hate to lose your friendship over something as silly as who we're both dating. I don't expect you to stay single and I don't want you to criticize whoever I decide to let into my life. Because rest assured, Lexy always comes first. I would be much happier if I could allow myself to be selfish, but I have her happiness to think of as well and no matter how much it hurts, I'll do my best to always put her first."

James visibly deflates in front of him.

"I'm sorry he doesn't love you back."

"The problem isn't that he doesn't like me back, just that he doesn't like me enough to take me with all the baggage I come with," Kurt confesses, because for the last three years he's told James everything and sometimes, old habits are hard to shake.

"If he can't see how great you are, he's not worth it."

Kurt understands then why James doesn't like Blaine. Not because Blaine may like Kurt, but because he doesn't love Kurt enough. Kurt's feelings for Blaine were part of the reason their marriage fell apart, but for James it was a risk that didn't pay off for Kurt, because Blaine ended up not returning his feelings.

"It was still the right thing to do," Kurt reassures James. "We both know we wouldn't have been happy in the long run, so regardless of whether Blaine likes me back or not we made the right decision."

"I know. Call me if you need me to watch Alexandra again this week. And I try not to take her on any more dates with me."

"I trust your judgment," Kurt concedes, because while he's not happy about James taking their daughter on a date with him, he believes that James would never put her in harms way. "And for what it's worth, I think it's good that you're being upfront about having a kid. Less chance of getting dumped because of it later."

"That happen with the two of you?" James nods in the direction of Blaine's closed door. Kurt shakes his head.

"No. He heard us talking in Boston and decided to tell me that while he likes me, he can't see himself dating a guy with a kid."

James pats his shoulder before he calls loudly, "Goodbye Alexandra. Daddy has to leave."

Blaine opens the door slowly and pushes Lexy through. Kurt watches her kiss James on the cheek before she tells Blaine that she wants to be picked up.

"You two okay?" Blaine asks after the door has closed behind James.

"Yeah, I think we'll be all right. And I expect he'll be much nicer to you in the future."

Because regardless of what will or won't happen, he can't imagine a future without Blaine in it.


	13. Interlude 2

**_INTERLUDE 2_**

"So, I'd understand if after what happened you don't want to come to my high school reunion anymore," Kurt tells Blaine a few days after waking up hung over in his bed.

They're in Central Park, eating sandwiches on a park bench while Lexy feeds the ducks on the pond in front of them.

"Hey, I promised to go and I will. After all, I already told my mom I'd come by for a visit," Blaine winks.

Kurt had asked Blaine to come to Lima with him so his former bullies wouldn't be able to make fun of him for being divorced already as he tends to pass Blaine of as Lexy's dad to those who don't know his story. It's funny, because when he had graduated high school, he had looked forward to his ten year high school reunion, because he'd expected to feel superior over the meatheads he used to call his classmates who would probably work at McDonald's or Burger King and probably would be already divorced after being forced to marry their high school girlfriends after knocking them up. Kurt himself would been successful and engaged to a wonderful man with whom he would have 2.5 children after they were legally married by thirty. There was even a white picket fence and a dog in his vision when he was eighteen.

Ten years later though, he is a single father of a two year old and in the final stages of a divorce, is still waiting for his big break on Broadway and can't even afford a car, let alone a house. He is as much of a Lima loser as his former bullies probably are although he hasn't lived in Lima in nearly ten years.

"So what's our backstory?" Blaine asks excitedly. "Secret high school sweethearts attending different schools. Tumultuous college relationship reminiscent of _Friends' _Ross and Rachel's relationship. Or maybe you used to babysit me," he immediately answers his own question, making up crazier and crazier stories.

"How about we don't tell people who hated me anything other then that we are a happy couple with a beautiful daughter," Kurt stops Blaine before he gets too excited about their little ruse.

"Fine, be boring," Blaine pouts and nearly hits a duck in the head when he throws a piece of bread in the pond. "But you should at least tell them that you're famous."

"Yeah, so they can google it and then tell everyone that I'm lying," Kurt scoffs.

"You won't be lying for much longer," Blaine assures him, always more confident about Kurt's talent than Kurt himself. "Once we open on Broadway in a few weeks, you're going to be huge and your name will be on a billboard on Times Square.

"It will?" Kurt gasps, and wow, why hadn't he even thought about that possibility?

"Of course it will. You and Jesse are the stars of my show and come June everyone will know." He pauses briefly. "You know what? We should watch the unveiling from the TKTS stairs. I bring the coffee if you bring your delicious avocado sandwiches."

"Isn't that kind of pretentious? Waiting for my name to be up in lights?" Kurt wonders, though he can see it now; the moment when everyone on Times Square will be able to read that Kurt Hummel is the star of Broadway's next hit show.

Blaine shakes his head, making his curls fly around. Kurt suppresses the urge to run his fingers through them once more.

"Nick and I did the same thing when the billboard for 'Butterfly Factory' went up. It was my first show and his first professional directing job after all."

"It's a date then," Kurt says, immediately biting his tongue because he keeps doing this; using the word date for their purely platonic outings.

"Deal," Blaine just smiles at him, apparently not concerned about Kurt's linguistic faux pas.

They let Lexy play with the ducks for another half hour before Blaine excuses himself to attend a meeting with his producers. Their Broadway premiere is only five weeks away and as far as Kurt understands, Blaine and the producers still have a lot to work on before the curtain rises for the first time. Kurt can't wait to start rehearsal on their new stage, but it won't happen for another two weeks. And Lexy, of course, is happy that her daddy has a lot of time for her at the moment, which Kurt enjoys very much as well, especially on days when Blaine accompanies them to the park, but he's also looking forward to getting back on stage after their three week break.

"Oh, before I go, don't forget about the fitting for the cast photo. The new intern is supposed to send you all the details, but I don't really trust him yet to do his job because he seems to be more interested in watching the female dancers than actually work."

Kurt nods. "Wednesday, at three pm; I've already written it down and talked to Katie, so don't worry, I'll be there.

"Great, so I'll see you Wednesday and then we can talk about the trip to Lima. And rest assured, I will pay for a car to take us to the airport, whether you want it or not," he adds and runs off before Kurt can tell him again that there's no way Blaine's paying for the trip to the airport when he's already paying for the plane ticket and a rental car in Ohio just to do Kurt a favor.

"This isn't over," he calls after Blaine, who stuffs his fingers into his ears and sings 'lalala' on top of his lungs.

"Blay gaga?" Lexy asks, using an expression she'd picked up from her grandpa Burt, and Kurt nods.

"Yeah, he's crazy, but we still like him, right?"

"Like Blay lots," Lexy smiles and Kurt picks her up and throws her into the air, her dark red summer dress flaring up around her.

"Good. I'm glad you like him too."

* * *

><p>"No way! Is that Hummel with a kid? Never thought he'd find a guy to be gay with," Kurt overhears his former bully Azizmo Adams when he walks into the gym, Lexy in his arms and Blaine right beside him.<p>

He turns on the spot and fake smiles at the former football player.

"Azizmo, wow, it's been what, ten years? How have you been?"

"Oh well, " Azizmo stutters. "I work at the factory on 2nd street, probably will be foreman in a year or two."

"That's great," Kurt says, satisfied that he was right about at least one meathead. "Family?"

Azizmo winces.

"Ah, two boys, but, ah, they live with their mother."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine what I'd do if I didn't have both Blaine and Alexandra in my life."

Before Azizmo can reply, Kurt hooks his arm into Blaine's and drags him further into the gymnasium.

"Oh my God," he wheezes. "That felt great. I can't believe I let this guy make my life hell when I was young."

"Well," Blaine laughs, "I'm sure there're still more of your bullies we can mess with."

"I knew it was a good idea to bring you here," Kurt snorts.

Santana pulls him aside half an hour later, after finishing her impromptu autograph session and after Kurt had a hilarious run in with Rick 'the stick', a dumb wit hockey player.

"I can't believe I was friends with those girls," she moans as she pulls Kurt away from Blaine who puts Lexy on his shoulders so as not to lose her in the crowd. "You finally pulled your head out of your ass?" she adds once they're out in the hallway.

"Huh?"

"You brought the wunderkind along. Are you finally boning him?"

"Santana," Kurt hisses and quickly looks around to make sure no one's eavesdropping on their conversation.

"He's just a friend who's in town to see his parents and offered to come with when we saw each other on the plane."

"Bullshit," Santana smirks. "His parents live in Columbus so this would be one hell of a detour."

"Fine," Kurt grumbles. "I didn't want people to know I'm divorced already and my dad kept asking to meet Blaine, so I invited him. He said yes and here we are. Just friends though."

"Could have fooled me. He doesn't look at you like he's just playing pretend," Santana says more softly than Kurt is used to.

"I can't force him to be ready and eventually I'll have to let it go. Focus on finding a guy willing to commit to both Lexy and I."

"For what it's worth," Santana replies, "you're both acting stupid and would be much happier if you'd just listen to me and get your shit together."

With that she turns around and struts back into the gym, still owning it like she did in high school wearing the head cheerleader's uniform.

"I'm not stupid," Kurt mumbles. "I'm being sensible."

After taking a deep breath he follows Santana, ready to play happy couple with Blaine once more.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for letting me spend the night, Mr. Hummel. I didn't think we'd stay this late."<p>

Burt puts his hand on Blaine's shoulder and smiles at him.

"No problem, Blaine. We can only offer you the couch though, unless we move Lexy to Kurt's room."

Carole had come by around seven to take Lexy home, allowing Kurt to have a few drinks with old friends and acquaintances.

"That's all right, sir. The couch is fine," Blaine assures Kurt's dad.

"So polite," Carole whispers, but from the blush on Blaine's cheek, Kurt can tell that his stepmother wasn't discreet enough.

"Want to check on Lexy with me while Carole sets up the couch?" his dad asks and Kurt just knows that Burt's only trying to find an excuse to talk to Kurt alone.

"Sure Dad. We'll be right back," he adds for Blaine's benefit.

Upstairs, they stop in front of what used to be his brother Finn's room. After Finn had died tragically their first year of college, the room had remained untouched for many years, but when Kurt had returned to New York after an awkward last Christmas with James, Carole had decided to redecorate to give Lexy her own room when she stayed with her grandparents. Kurt knows that it couldn't have been easy for her; changing her son's room when he would never have a child who would stay in it during visits home.

He and Blaine had gone straight to McKinley High School from the airport because they couldn't leave New York earlier, so this is the first time that he's seeing what Carole has done with the room.

"It's strange," he admits, "seeing it so colorful."

"And clean," his dad adds and Kurt's grateful that they've reached a point where they can joke about Finn's habits without breaking into tears.

"And you know what, I don't think he'd mind it one bit that we adapted it for his niece."

Kurt nods in agreement because he's certain that Finn would have loved Lexy and would have been her favorite uncle.

"How was it at the reunion?" Kurt's face falls.

"Blaine and I, we had fun, but it was also kinda sad because no one dared to talk about who was missing. And a lot of our former classmates didn't even know he died."

"And it's only gonna get worse the older you get. Your next reunion, Finn may not be the only one missing."

"Thanks Dad," Kurt groans. "I really didn't need to hear that."

"Sorry, kiddo. So the famous Blaine," his dad quickly changes the subject. "You sure you two aren't dating? Cause he can stay in your room if you are. You have kid, so the time to pretend you're not having sex is long past anyway.

"Dad," Kurt groans again, his cheeks flushing. "We're just friends."

"If you say so. Because let me tell you this; none of my friends would have gotten on a plane to go to a high school reunion that's not even theirs."

"He's just being a good friend," Kurt sighs. "And if we were dating, you'd have been the first to know."

"Well, no matter if you end up together or not, I think you made the right decision regarding James. You've been so much happier lately."

"Thanks, Dad," Kurt tells Burt honestly because his dad's support means the world to him. Especially, because he's pretty sure that his dad never envisioned that his son would end up divorced before he was even thirty.

His dad pulls Kurt into his strong arms and hugs him tightly.

"You say goodnight to the little one and I'll go back downstairs and see how Carole and our guest are doing," Burt tells him.

"Please don't interrogate him," Kurt pleads because he wouldn't put it past his dad to give the man Kurt had fallen in love with the third degree.

"I resent that accusation," his dad laughs, but the gleam in his eyes tells Kurt that he better not leave Blaine alone with his parents for too long.

* * *

><p>Blaine says goodbye around eleven the next day to make it to his parents' lunch invitation in Columbus on time.<p>

"See you Sunday at the airport," he tells Kurt and ruffles Lexy's hair, who bats his hands away immediately.

"Like I said, she's just like Kurt," his dad laughs before he shakes hands with Blaine and tells him that he's always welcome at the Hummel's, making both Kurt and Blaine blush.

With one of Carole's turkey sandwiches for the road he is off and Kurt watches his rental car drive away until Blaine rounds a corner.

"You really got it bad, huh?" his dad comments and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"A few months ago I told you I was getting a divorce for him, so what did you think?"

They move to the backyard then where Kurt quickly inspects the fence around the pool his parents had put in a few years ago and admires the swing set that is Lexy's early birthday present.

"We should talk about the plans for yours and Lexy's birthdays," Carole says as they watch Burt push Lexy in the swings. "Your dad and I thought it'd be best if we came up for the premiere and then take you out for a nice dinner and take Lexy to that teashop for kids I read about."

"_Alice's Tea Cup_," Kurt tells her. "That's a wonderful idea." Carole smiles.

"And what about your plans?" Kurt shrugs.

"Nothing big. Probably just getting drinks with my friends and a few people from the theater. Twenty-nine really isn't all that important; it's only a reminder that I'll be thirty in a year," Kurt grumbles, but at least he still looks youthful and most people (before they know about Lexy) still think he's only in his early twenties like Blaine.

"And for Lexy I'll have a small party at home with her aunts and uncles."

These days most of his friends are called aunts and uncles around Lexy.

"James gonna be there?" Kurt shrugs.

"He promised to try."

"Good," Carole smiles. "The more people in her life who love her the better. I know how hard being a single parent can be."

Kurt can't not pull her into a hug.

"You've been a great mom to me," he assures her.

Cause that's what she is even if he's never called her 'mom'. Carole's been acting like his mother even longer than his first mother had. That's how he thinks of it these days; his first mom and his second mom, and if he's lucky, Lexy will have more than one other dad in the future too.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Carole wipes a tear from her eyes. "I'm so glad you introduced me to your dad when you did. I didn't just gain a wonderful husband, but also an amazing son."

His dad finds them like this, crying into the other's shoulder.

"Everything okay?" he asks, eyebrows raised in question. Behind him, Lexy is happily kicking at a pink ball totally ignoring their little cry fest.

"Just really happy about our little family," Carole sobs and Kurt's happy that she feels this way even with a huge part of their family missing.

"Good, good," Burt mumbles awkwardly. "So how about I fire up the grill this afternoon; take advantage of the nice day?"

"Actually," Kurt wipes his own tears away, "I was going to ask if you could watch Lexy this afternoon. Mercedes and I made plans to meet up because we didn't really get a chance to talk last night."

"Sure kiddo. You go and have fun with your friends."

* * *

><p><em>My mom's angry that I didn't bring you over for lunch after your parents let me spend the night. And apparently she really wanted to meet Lexy.<em>

Blaine texts and Kurt blushes, quickly locking his phone when Mercedes makes a grab for it.

"Is that him? The guy you brought to the reunion."

"Blaine," Kurt informs her. "Yeah that's him."

"So how come you didn't tell me you're dating someone new already? I thought we are best friends." Kurt groans.

"Not you too. Blaine and I are just friends regardless of what Santana may have said. Not boyfriends," he lowers his voice, "not fuck buddies, just platonic friends."

"Hm, my platonic friends never looked at me the way he looks at you. But what do I know; I'm just a boring old married lady."

"I'm sorry I missed your wedding but I've seen the pictures and you looked gorgeous in your dress. So no talk about being an old lady."

"It's okay Kurt. I understand why couldn't fly out when your daughter was sick."

Kurt splits another cookie and pushes half onto Mercedes' plate. The coffee shop they are in, the Lima Bean, used to be their favorite after school hang out and until he moved to New York he believed they had the best coffee in the country. Now the cookies taste kinda stale and the coffee burnt. He's turned into a proper New York snob.

"So how's married life treating you? Any plans for a baby any time soon?"

Mercedes poses for a quick picture with a fan before she replies.

"No. I'm going on my first national tour soon, so a baby would just get in the way. And I'm not in any hurry. I can still have children when I'm older and done touring."

Kurt nods and simultaneously curses her silently for making him realize that should 'Ace of Spades' get a tour after it's Broadway run, he wouldn't be able to be part of it unless he found an affordable nanny to travel with him and Lexy.

"And Peter already has a son from his first marriage so he isn't in any hurry to have another one either," she adds.

"You know, I never thought that you of all people would marry a divorced man one day. With all the trying to drag me to church every Sunday when we were in high school," Kurt teases the first friend he'd ever made.

"What can I say," Mercedes fans herself, "I'm a Hollywood girl through and through." More soberly. "And I've come to realize that when it's love none of that matters."

"And it wasn't a problem for you that he already had a kid?" Kurt has to ask because their situations are so similar.

"Sure it was at first. I was really scared because I was twenty-five and didn't know what would be expected of me. It helped though that Scott lives with his mother and so my contact to him is limited. He calls me Mercedes and I try not to flinch when he introduces me as his stepmother," Mercedes jokes.

"Well I'm glad it worked out for you," Kurt tells her. "Maybe I should get you together with Blaine some time."

"Oh honey, you can't force that sort of thing. He has to realize for himself that losing you to someone else would be more difficult than being with you and your daughter. When Peter told me about Scott, I was convinced I couldn't do it, but the thought of someone else snatching up this incredible man made me certain that I at least had to give him a chance. And boy has it paid off. I've never been happier in my life."

_My mom's insisting on driving me to the airport tomorrow just so she can meet you._

Another text from Blaine interrupts them and this time Kurt lets Mercedes read through all the texts Blaine has sent him since leaving Lima a few hours ago.

"Oh, you two are so going to be married before I even have my first kid," she exclaims after reading through all twelve of them. Kurt sighs.

"You know, that's a bet I'd be happy to let you win."

* * *

><p>Blaine's mom is not what Kurt expected. She's taller than her son with long straight dark red hair and sparkling blue eyes. Kurt guesses that Blaine's curls must have come from his dad.<p>

"Kurt, my mom Susan Anderson. Mom, future star Kurt Hummel," Blaine introduces them before he picks up Lexy who's hiding behind Kurt's legs. "And this little cutie is Kurt's daughter Alexandra."

Lexy waves shyly before hiding her face in Kurt's shirt.

"Oh, I want one just like her from you," Susan coos. "Preferably before I'm old and grey because lord knows whether your brother will ever settle down."

Blaine squirms under his mother's gaze and Kurt busies himself with looking for something in his bag, because this hits a little close to home for the two of them.

"Come on, Mom. There's always a chance that Cooper will knock up one of his girlfriends by accident eventually," he changes the subject causing Susan to glare at him.

"I hope not. I want a grandkid I can actually spend time with."

"Blaine, we should really head in now," Kurt saves Blaine from Susan, and the other man gives him a grateful smile.

"Thanks," Blaine mumbles when they are safely inside. "I don't know why she's like that. She always used to tell us how hard it was having Cooper so young, and now she wants me to do the same."

"I don't think she wants you to have a kid _right now_. People just have a hard time resisting Lexy's charms," Kurt replies, bumping his shoulder against Blaine's to lighten the mood.

The girl in question requests a piggy back ride from Blaine and by the time they reach the security check, the conversation seems to be forgotten again. Kurt guesses Blaine's just as grateful for that as Kurt is.

"Hey, thanks again for coming with me this weekend. It wouldn't have been as much fun without you here," Kurt confesses as they board the plane, Lexy swinging between them excitedly.

Blaine smiles back at him, eyes wide and open.

"I had a great time as well. I'm glad you asked."

And so the platonic little family returns to New York, just in time to get ready for the next milestone in Kurt's life. And until Kurt finds someone who wants to be a real family with him and Lexy it's enough. It has to be.

**END OF PART 2**

* * *

><p>As I've said before, I will be in London till Saturday so the next update will either be on the 3rd or the 4th depending on how much writing I manage to get done on the plane because the next two chapters are the ones I haven't written yet. Happy New Year everyone!<p> 


	14. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry for the delay, the universe did not want me to get this one out on time. On a more positive note, I did have a good time in London, especially because I finally got to see 'The Book of Mormon" (had a nice surprise as well when I opened my program and saw a Starkid in one of the lead roles) and "Wicked" for the second time. (It took me a while to get used to the British accent but I very much preferred the London Fiyero to the one I saw in the Chicago production a few years back) **

**To make up for the late update, you'll get the next one tomorrow. After this, there should be 4 more chapters, two of which are complete and the final two about halfway finished. So even if I don't post the rest of it this week, the goal is to finish it within the next two weeks.**

**I hope you all had a good New Year's Eve and managed to start the year hangover-less ;)**

**_PART 3_**

**_Chapter 11_**

**_May 2022_**

Turning twenty-nine as it turns out is a big deal after all as his friends keep reminding him it's the last time there's a two in front. The only one not participating is Jesse who recently turned thirty, all though if you ask him he'll tell you that he just turned twenty-nine - for the second time of many.

They start the party early so Lexy can celebrate with her daddy as well, Blaine bringing over a huge birthday cake with twenty-nine candles. Kurt lets his daughter help him blow them out when she keeps running toward the cake, not satisfied when Kurt tells her she'll have her own cake in two weeks. They have plans to head out later though, after James picks up Lexy around eight so Kurt can have a grown up party with his friends.

"You're crazy," he tells Blaine once everyone has a piece of cake. "I didn't need a cake this big."

Blaine just smiles and shrugs. "It's your birthday."

"Just wait for your own," Kurt mock threatens but Blaine just smirks.

"I'll only need twenty-four candles. You can fit those on a normal cake."

The cake is delicious though. Topped with dark chocolate and with cheese cake filling in the middle, as Kurt's addiction to cheese cake is an open secret.

"I'd prefer a regular chocolate one though. I think I will never understand your obsession with cheese cake."

Kurt gasps. "That's it, friendship over."

It's nice to be able to joke like that again, without having to worry about his every move. Kurt spent most off his time off with Lexy or doing things for himself, but he, Blaine and Lexy had still hung out at least twice a week. They'd gone to the Central Park Zoo, visited the Children's museum and had taken the ferry to Staten Island because Lexy had enjoyed the ride to IKEA so much. Other times, they had met at Kurt's apartment and had watched Disney movies together, often acting out the scenes for Lexy who would always beg Blay to sing with Daddy.

"Nooooo," Blaine wails dramatically. "I'll take it back, cheese cake is delicious."

"Blay gaga," Lexy observes causing everyone to laugh and Blaine to retaliate by stealing her nose.

By the time James comes by to pick up Lexy, Kurt has to bribe her with a new dress for her doll to get her to leave with her other daddy, because she refuses to let got of Blaine's leg.

"Linda got me tickets for the previews," James tells him as Kurt helps Lexy into her shoes and a light summer jacket. "I really wanted to be there for your premiere, but Mr. Horn needs me in Beijing for a meeting with this new client."

It takes Kurt a moment to understand what James isn't saying. Because their Broadway premiere is only days after their daughter's 2nd birthday.

"Well, you never said you would make it and Lexy probably won't care with her grandparents flying to New York to celebrate with her."

He doesn't care in that moment if he hurts James' feelings. Their divorce papers are signed, they have a date to meet with the judge assigned their case and Kurt's gotten used to being disappointed by James in the years they were together.

"I hope you enjoy the show and thanks for letting me know. I had a seat saved for you."

He'll ask James' secretary Linda if she wants to go instead because she deserves it after all the stuff she has to do for James. Kurt's pretty certain half the gifts he'd received in the past two years have been picked and purchased by Linda because James had been a horrible gift giver before he started his job.

James just nods before he shakes Blaine's hand.

"Nice seeing you again, man. Looking forward to seeing your play."

"Hope you'll like it," Blaine replies and for once they sound like they mean it.

With Lexy gone, Santana and Brittany change into tight and revealing dresses and after much badgering from them, Kurt goes and changes into tight jeans and a formfitting shirt as well. He can feel Blaine's eyes on him when he bends over to tie his shoes, but Blaine's attraction to Kurt had never been the issue, so Kurt lets Blaine stare but turns away when Blaine bends over to tie his own shoes.

At the club he makes sure to have a glass of water after every drink so he won't get shitfaced again and while he dances with all his friends, Blaine included, he makes sure to only do so when there's a fast, upbeat song playing. From time to time, guys come up to him, trying to buy him drinks or get him to dance with them, but Kurt tells each one upfront.

"I have a kid. Still interested?"

He isn't surprised when every single guy shakes his head and scampers off quickly. Two even accuse him of inventing a kid just because he doesn't want to dance with them. Kurt doesn't tell them how ridiculous that is and how much easier his life would be without a child in his life.

To his surprise, Blaine keeps turning down guys as well. Kurt never hears what he tells the hopefuls, but after every guy he just drags Brittany or Santana onto the dance floor or tries his luck with Kurt. Kurt doesn't exactly turn him down, but he always makes sure there's enough space between them on the dance floor to make it clear they're just friends. More than once he wants to ask why Blaine keeps sending ridiculously hot guys away, but since revealing his feelings it's not really his place anymore to ask Blaine stuff like that, right? He doesn't ask Santana either, who'd probably say that Blaine's turning down other guys because he hopes to end the night in Kurt's bed and that's so not going to happen no matter how horny he is. Thankfully, Blaine doesn't ask him about his own rejects either, because Kurt's not ready to admit that on the one hand he isn't ready to meet someone new because he's still in love with Blaine and on the other hand doesn't want to tell Blaine that the men rejected him when he told them about Lexy.

They all stay till closing, Santana and Brittany easily out dancing the much younger crowd while Rachel and Jesse pretty much reenact one of the key scenes of _Spring Awakening_ in a dark corner of the club. Kurt knows that he only has to say the word if he wants to end up in his own dark corner with Blaine and once they end up pressed against one another on the dance floor, he decides that he's done with drinking and dancing for the night. Blaine hides his disappointment well when Kurt leaves him on the dance floor and flees to the restroom to splash cold water on his face.

All in all, the evening is a success though. Sure he'd prefer it if he were younger because he isn't ready to turn thirty in a year, but his life could be worse right now. After all, he's employed, has a wonderful daughter and a group of amazing friends … what more could he ask for? Blaine is the obvious answer but Kurt refuses to go there. He'll never get over him other wise.

* * *

><p>Kurt nervously paces his dressing room after rearranging the armchair he'd brought to the theater for the umpteenth time and decorating half of the mirror with pictures of friends and family. They are starting their Broadway previews in three hours, meaning that Kurt is at the theater way too early, but he couldn't stay at home and watch the clock any longer. Thankfully, Katie didn't have a problem with coming by earlier, so now Kurt's in a basically empty theater and trying not to freak out. Sure he'd performed the show in front of an audience before, but that had been small theaters on the New England coast and not the Gershwin Theater, famous for being the home of <em>Wicked <em>for nearly eighteen years. And tonight, Kurt Hummel will perform on its stage for the very first time, in his very first Broadway lead. Tonight, fans of a show won't be disappointment when they find out u/s Kurt Hummel is performing, because this time people will have purchased tickets in spite of him, a relatively unknown newcomer, being in the lead. Tonight, fans of _Butterfly Factory_ may come to the show to see him because casting newcomers had worked so well for Blaine's first show and just knowing that people may come to the show to see if he was the right choice makes him want to throw up. Kurt has experienced stage fright before, which actor hasn't, but he's never felt like this. Sweaty, nauseous and unable to stop his hands from shaking.

"Are you all right?" Blaine pokes his head through Kurt's open door. "Susie at stage door told me one of my stars is here three hours early."

Kurt falls into his armchair and wraps his arms around his knees.

"I don't think I can do this. What if people are going to laugh because of my voice or I forget all my lines."

Blaine kneels down in front of him and covers Kurt's hands with his own.

"You can do this because you are the best choice for this role. And if you think I'm biased, well, we wouldn't have the financial backing if our co-producers didn't agree. Not once did one of them tell me to recast your role if I wanted it to be on Broadway because they all saw what I saw, that you're perfect for this part. And if you really forget the lines or lyrics just remember that no one knows the show yet. We'll be in previews for the next three weeks so if you screw up we can always say it was part of an old draft. I believe in you and I know you're going to be amazing out there tonight."

Kurt barely refrains from kissing Blaine and settles on a bone-crushing hug to show his gratitude.

"Thanks," he whispers. "I'm feeling so much better already. And I'll try not to throw up on stage or do something equally embarrassing. I'm so proud to be able to be part of your show and I never want to anything to embarrass you."

"The show wouldn't be the same without you, so I think we're even," Blaine winks before he pulls Kurt out of his chair and tugs him through the door.

"Where are we going?" Kurt asks as he follows Blaine through the labyrinth behind the stage.

"We're going for a walk because you don't have to be in make up for another hour and a half and I think fresh air will do you some good."

Kurt doesn't disagree and they walk around till Kurt has to return to the theater to warm up and get ready for his first show. It's only after he takes his final bow, his arms linked with Jesse's that he remembers that Blaine didn't let go of his hand once the whole time they were walking through the theater district.

**_June 2022_**

Lexy's 2nd birthday is on a Monday, meaning Kurt has the whole day to celebrate with his daughter instead of having to rush to the theater for their previews. The official Broadway premiere is only four days away but after eighteen performances, it seems less important than it did before they started their Broadway previews. What he's looking forward to though is having his parents in the audience.

Burt and Carole have flown out the previous day, both taking the week off to spend it in New York with Kurt and their granddaughter and Kurt's grateful for it because he has an interview scheduled with Broadway dot com and a cast performance on 'Good morning America' on the day of the premiere which coincides with Katie's father's birthday which means his babysitter is out of town.

The day of Lexy's birthday, they spend the morning opening presents before Carole, Brittany, Santana and Rachel take her to Alice's Tea Cup for early afternoon tea, while he and Burt set up for her birthday party. Not even his dad looks surprised when Blaine shows up two hours early to help them ("I thought you could need some help what with James being in Asia") and promptly uses Blaine's appearance as an excuse to go and take a nap because the mattress in their hotel room is apparently horrible.

"I told you you can stay with me," Kurt reminds his dad when he keeps grumbling about his poor back on the way to Kurt's bedroom, but his dad waves him off, mumbling something about privacy. Kurt doesn't want to know if he's talking about Kurt's or his and Carole's so he doesn't ask and instead hands the other end of the banner they were about to hang up to Blaine.

Blaine secures the dozen Disney themed balloons he's brought along to a chair before he helps Kurt put up a banner spelling 'Happy 2nd Birthday Alexandra' in bright colors. Even though his daughter can't read yet and is still a bit confused about the concept of birthdays and Christmas, Kurt decided to go all out, because they would take a ton of pictures for her to look at when she's older. And probably videos thanks to the smart phones they all possess.

When the girls return from their afternoon tea, Kurt brings the cake out of the kitchen. It's a simple chocolate cake decorated with sugary snowflakes because of Lexy's current obsession with 'Frozen'. On top of it are three candles, two for her birthday and one to grow on, which Lexy blows out the moment Kurt lights them without waiting for her birthday song. Once she is secured in her grandpa's lap, Kurt relights the candles and everyone launches into a slightly off-key version of 'Happy Birthday' before Lexy is allowed to blow her candles out again.

Kurt's 'single parents' group had shown up shortly before the girls returned from the city and with six kids, aged 2 to 5 in the apartment, he suddenly feels quite bad for his neighbors because those kids are loud even when all they're doing is eat cake. Once all the cake is eaten, Kurt has to take Lexy to the bathroom because her face is covered in cake before changing her into purple pants and a light blue t-shirt because her dress ended up full of cake as well.

The pants are a good choice once the kids start playing with Lexy's new toys on the floor, but Kurt removes the watercolors Brittany bought for her before his daughter can get her hands on them. When all presents are finally open, Kurt gapes at the amount of them because he is certain he never got that many presents when he was Lexy's age, which his dad confirms.

"To be fair, when you were two years old you didn't have friends whose parents could have gotten you gifts, because your mom stayed home with you and the only other mothers she knew had kids that were a lot older and had no interest in playing with you."

"I don't think she really sees those kids as her friends yet because she never cares who's sitting with her as long as playing is involved," Kurt replies.

Point in case, Blaine's on his hands and knees on the floor, being used by the younger kids as their personal jungle gym.

"Do you ever think about having more kids?" Carole asks him when she catches him watch Lexy with his friends' kids.

"I don't know," he replies honestly. "Definitely not any time soon, but if I find the right man then maybe. But I also don't want there to be like a ten year age difference because I know Blaine only managed to have some kind of a relationship with his brother when he was already in college and if I give Lexy a brother or a sister then I want her to have a connection to her sibling."

"Who knows, maybe you'll meet a man one day who already has a kid Lexy's age." The like me and your dad remains unsaid, but Kurt knows how happy his parents were when he and Finn finally started to see one another as brothers.

Then he looks at Blaine though and no matter how unlikely it is that he'll have a big family with Blaine one day, he isn't ready to let go of the fantasy. But maybe, he should open himself up to the possibility that he'll find his happiness elsewhere, because he doesn't want to become that sad single guy who never dates anyone because the one he wanted didn't like him back.

* * *

><p>A week after 'Ace of Spades' officially opens on Broadway to mostly positive reviews, Kurt's divorce is finally finalized and the first thing he does after leaving the courtroom is head home and log into his facebook account.<p>

His relationship status had remained 'married' all throughout his separation because 'it's complicated' didn't really fit and 'happily separated' hadn't been an option. It's with a smile on his face that he changes his status to 'single' before he gets a small bottle of sparkling wine from the fridge. Fortunately, he has another six hours before he has to be at the theater and Lexy is with Brittany and Santana so a glass to celebrate his freedom won't hurt.

When he gets back to his laptop after changing out of his suit and into comfortable yoga pants and a simple t-shirt, he already has 153 likes, nearly twice as many as he had gotten for his wedding announcement. There's even a comment or two from guys he went to college with asking if it's too soon to ask him out and another guy saying he'd be interested to do him as long as the kid stayed with Kurt's ex. Because he can't even remember where he knows the guy from, Kurt promptly unfriends him before reading through the rest of the comments. Most are from friends, congratulating him on his freedom, and in that moment he's glad that James doesn't have a facebook account, ("I'm a businessman, Kurt. I have better things to do than post pictures of my lunch no one truly cares about.") because most comments aren't exactly James friendly.

Too lazy to cook – it isn't often that he's childfree on a Tuesday – he orders Japanese while he sips his sparkling wine and watches fan made videos taken at the first stop of Mercedes' first national tour. He'd gotten tickets for her New York show the moment they went on sale, because it's been way too long since he'd seen her perform live.

Before he knows it, it's time to head to the theater, where he's greeted with hugs and more congratulations on his divorce and has to promise to join the rest of the cast for drinks after the show to properly celebrate his freedom.

Blaine pulls him aside before Kurt has to go warm up, a rare visitor now that the show is being performed in it's final form and no more last minute rewrites are necessary.

"Are you happy?"

Kurt nods because he's getting there. One way or the other. With or without Blaine.

* * *

><p>AN: If you haven't seen it yet, look up Jonathan Groff recounting how he forgot the words to a Spring Awakening song during a Broadway performance on YouTube. It's pretty hilarious.<p> 


	15. Chapter 12

**_Chapter 12_**

**_August 2022_**

Kurt is late. No strike that. At this point it will take a miracle to get him to the theater on time for the matinee. And to make things worse, he has no cell phone reception in the tunnel they are stuck in. Should have taken a cab after all, he thinks as he tries not to get too close to a group of sweaty German tourists who've clearly never experienced this particular New York underground phenomenon and are inching closer and closer to the emergency button, probably not understanding the train conductor. But he had taken Lexy to Central Park in the morning because it was such a nice day where they met Katie and the subway seemed like the fastest option.

After kissing his daughter goodbye and promising to give her a call in between shows he hopped on a C train to 42nd street only to end up stuck in a tunnel somewhere between Columbus Circle and 50 street and their train hasn't moved in the past thirty minutes because of a technical malfunction that will take a while longer before it's taken care of.

At least Kyle will be happy to perform, Kurt thinks, because so far he hasn't missed a single show after the producers made it clear that people were paying a lot of money to see him and Jesse and missing a performance was only acceptable if he was sick or something he had no control over prevented him from performing. Being stuck on the subway for more than half an hour should count as something he has no control over as far as he's concerned. Kurt just wishes he could call the theater to let them know that he probably won't make, because even if gets there before 2:30 he'll still need at least half an hour to warm up and get ready for the show and it's already 1:45.

"Excuse me, what is that man saying?" one of the German tourists moves away from his group and approaches Kurt.

"Oh, just that the train broke down and they've sent someone to fix it. Could be another five minutes but it could also be another hour. It happens from time to time."

Kurt's keeping his fingers crossed for five minutes.

Unfortunately, by the time he reaches 42nd street it's already 2:15 and Kurt's officially missing his first show. He pulls out his phone to let the theater know what they should already know anyway, that Kyle has to gone on instead. What he finds are thirty-four missed calls. The more recent are three missed calls from the theater, but then there are twenty missed calls from Blaine and eleven from Katie. As much as he wants to convince himself that this is just about the show, that everyone was looking for him because he didn't show up at the theater, deep down he knows that it's not.

With shaking hands he dials his voicemail, skipping the one from the theater to one left by his babysitter.

Katie sounds like she's close to tears in the voice mail and Kurt nearly drops his phone when he hears the words Lexy and hospital in the same sentence.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry but Lexy fell from the swing and her head was bleeding and her leg looked all wrong so I took her to the hospital. But now they won't tell me anything because I'm not family and you won't pick up your phone. I, I called your boyfriend because you said your ex isn't in town, but now they won't tell him about her either and he's kinda freaking out as well. Please get here as soon as possible. I've called the theater as well but they said you hadn't shown up yet."

By the time he finishes with Katie's voice mail he feels as panicked as she sounded. And confused, because he is very, very sure that he doesn't have a boyfriend. But then he remembers all the missed calls from Blaine and subsumes that Katie must have misunderstood the nature of their relationship.

There's a text message from Blaine telling him where he can find them at the hospital and that the doctors are running tests on Lexy but refuse to let him or Katie into the room with her until they've gotten the okay from one of her parents.

Kurt silently curses James who tends to turn his private phone off during business trips and not even Kurt has his business number. By the time he finally gets to the hospital, this time in a cab not willing to risk another subway incident, it's been more than hour since the first calls and Kurt doesn't even want to imagine how scared his daughter must be.

Bypassing the elevators, Kurt sprints up to the second floor and skids to a halt in front of Blaine who's standing in front of the nurse's station begging for an update.

"Please, you have to let one of us be with her. We still haven't managed to reach her father, her other father is out of the country and her grandparents live in Ohio and London," Blaine pleads with the nurse and Kurt mentally face palms because in his rush to the hospital he totally forgot to let people know that he got their messages. If he had thought more clearly, someone would be with his daughter already.

Quickly, he digs his driver's license out of his wallet and slams it down in front of the nurse, startling both her and Blaine.

"I'm Kurt Hummel and I demand to see my daughter."

Moments later Blaine pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank god, Kurt. I was so worried when Katie called me and then we couldn't reach you and the theater didn't know where you were either and when I got here they asked me if I was the dad but I hesitated for a moment so then they wouldn't let me see her until I could prove I was family, which I'm not because I'm stupid and scared and thought you would be better off with someone ready to raise a kid, but Kurt I was so scared because Katie said Lexy was bleeding from her head and I never want anything to happen to her because I love her," Blaine rambles, his body shaking in Kurt's arms and Kurt holds him until the nurse clears her throat to get his attention.

"They're treating your daughter in room 2342."

"Thank you," Kurt tells her, before he takes Blaine's hand and drags him down the corridor.

Somewhere between 2314 and 2319 it hits him; Blaine said he loved Lexy and possibly something about regretting not being part of their family. He shakes his head to clear it though, because he has more important things to take care of right now.

When Kurt bursts into room 2342 Lexy is on a bed that's way too big for her, held in place by a nurse while a middle-aged doctor stitches a cut on her temple.

"Daddy," she screams when she spots him and tries to wriggle free, but Kurt is beside her in a flash, making sure she doesn't move while she's getting stitches.

"Sh, daddy's here. I've got you, sweetheart. You'll be okay."

He side eyes the doctor who nods before he finishes up.

"We've x-rayed her leg when she came in and luckily it's not a complicated break. But she'll still need a cast for the next six weeks, which means she'll have a harder time getting around for a bit. Apart from the cut, she's fine though otherwise and has been very brave so far," the doctor turns to Lexy who's already sucking on a lollipop provided by the nurse.

Kurt breathes out a sigh of release. The cast isn't ideal, especially because he can't take the next six weeks off to take care of her, but it could have been worse. If it had been worse, he'd probably quit the show for her, because Lexy always comes first.

"I'm so glad you're okay, baby girl," he tells her again before he carefully kisses her forehead next to her stitches.

"We'll put her leg into a cast in a bit and I want to keep her here overnight to make sure she doesn't have a concussion after all, but you can of course spend the night with her."

"Thank you, doctor."

"I've texted Katie and she's in the waiting room with coffee for all of us. I think she'd feel a lot better if she could see that Lexy is okay," Blaine pipes up from his position next to the door and Lexy's eyes light up when she spots him.

"Blay," she squeals and Kurt tightens his arms around her so she won't hurt her broken leg more than it already is.

"Hey Miss Lexy," Blaine approaches her carefully. "Can I give you a hug?"

Lexy nods and Kurt moves a bit to the right so Blaine can squeeze between them and give Lexy a hug.

"Stay with her for a moment while I get Katie," Kurt asks him because he has to make a few calls anyway and he'd rather get them out of the way right now and have the rest of the day to focus on Lexy.

"You're sure you're okay with me staying with her?" Blaine asks and Kurt nods, remembering Blaine's broken admission of 'I love her'.

"Daddy will be right back, sweetheart," he assures his daughter before living the room.

In the waiting room, he finds Katie on an orange plastic chair, her legs pulled up and her arms wrapped around her knees. Three cups of coffee rest on the floor in front of her and Kurt carefully sidesteps them as he approaches her. Katie's eyes widen when she spots him and she looks so young and scared that all he wants to do is hug her.

"I'm so, so sorry Kurt. This couple came up to me asking for the way to Bow Bridge and the moment they stepped aside I saw her climbing onto the swing, but I didn't get to her in time and she fell off. This is all my fault, I should never have taken my eyes off her," Katie cries and Kurt sits down next to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Accidents happen, Katie, and I know how fast she can be. The first time she climbed on a chair at home I only caught her when she was already dangerously close to the stove, so I know how difficult it is to always have eyes on her. You've done such an amazing job since we met and in the grand scheme of things, a broken leg isn't the end of the world. She probably won't even remember this when she's older. The scary part for me was the not knowing, the seeing all the missed calls and fearing the worst, but she's okay. They're keeping her overnight to make sure she doesn't have a concussion, but she'll be okay and before we know it, the cast will be off and we'll have to run after her again," Kurt comforts both of them because just like Katie, he had needed someone to tell him that it wasn't his fault when his daughter hit her head trying to climb onto the couch and fell back against the couch table about a year ago.

"Thank you," Katie smiles through her tears. "Can I go and see her?" Kurt nods.

"And bring Blaine one of those coffees, he was practically salivating when he got your text," he winks.

"Your boyfriend probably never had hospital coffee before," Katie giggles and Kurt opens his mouth to correct her, but it can wait.

"You're probably right. I'll join you in a bit."

When he is alone, the waiting area is surprisingly empty for a Sunday afternoon. Kurt calls the theater first to let them know he won't be able to do the evening show either. Everyone's sympathetic though and Kurt's just glad that this happened on a Sunday so at least he has tomorrow off any way.

Next is a quick email to James, letting him know about the broken leg and asking him to skype with his daughter as soon as he finds the time.

Finally, he pulls up his dad's contact and dials the number.

"Hey kiddo. Don't you have two shows on Sunday?" Burt answers the phone after a few rings and Kurt leans back against the hard plastic chair.

"I do, but Lexy got hurt on the playground so I'm at the hospital with Katie and Blaine right now. But don't worry, she's fine. Her left leg will be in a cast for a few weeks and she needed stitches, but she's already smiling and wriggling around again."

"Good, I'm glad it's nothing worse. I don't know if you remember but your mom was mad at me for weeks when you broke your leg when you were four because I thought you were old enough to ride a bike without training wheels."

"I don't. And how the hell did you manage to get me back on a bike when I was older?"

"I bought you the one with the pink streamers you had demanded," his dad laughs before he adds. "So Blaine? Why's he with you?"

Kurt pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his free arm around them.

"I was stuck in a subway tunnel when it happened and when Katie couldn't reach me she called Blaine because she thinks he's my boyfriend and I gave her his number when he used to get Lexy from her during rehearsal. And Dad, he was so worried about her. He said he loves her and I think something about regretting not being part of our family."

It's not something he ever expected to come out of Blaine Anderson's mouth.

"Well, have you talked to him about it?"

"Not yet. He's sitting with Lexy right now so I could make some calls, but what if it was just a spur of the moment thing? Maybe he only said it because he was worried and they wouldn't let him see her and he doesn't actually mean it?"

"You lost me there kiddo. He doesn't mean that he loves her? I'm sure he does even if it took him a while to figure it out," his dad tries to reassure him.

"No, I meant when he said he regretted not being part of the family."

Burt sighs. "I can't help you with that. You'll just have to talk it out and see if things have changed for him."

Of course his dad is right. He won't know anything until he and Blaine have talked and it's a waste of energy to keep thinking about different outcomes when he isn't the one who can influence them.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll keep you posted and I'll call you and Carole on Skype tomorrow when I take Lexy home."

Katie comes up to him just as he ends the call and Kurt looks at her questioningly.

"They want to put the cast on now and the doctor wants you to be there for it. And I wanted to see if there's anything I can do for your because I'm not much use here."

Kurt considers her offer for a moment.

"Actually, if you could go to the apartment and pack a bag for her, that would be great. Just a pair of PJs – the purple one's should fit over the cast – a dress for tomorrow, her toothbrush and Dumbo."

"Sure. Do you need stuff as well?"

Kurt shakes his head.

"I'm fine and they sell toothbrushes and toothpaste on the ground floor."

Fortunately, because he had been on his way to a show, he's already dressed in comfortable clothes and it's just one night.

So as Katie heads out to his apartment, Kurt walks back to his daughter's room where she is sitting on Blaine's lap while a nurse sets everything up for her cast.

"Everything okay?" Blaine asks when Kurt reenters and Kurt nods.

"Yeah. I called the theater and spoke to my dad, but um, I was wondering if we could talk once Lexy is asleep. Unless you have somewhere you have to be?"

"Kurt, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. I'll be here as long as you want me to stay."

Oh how much he hopes that Blaine isn't just talking about the hospital but the rest of their lives.

* * *

><p>Blaine is waiting for him outside of Lexy's room when Kurt tiptoes out after making sure his daughter really is asleep.<p>

"We should go and get food. I'm sure you haven't had anything since lunch either," Blaine says and Kurt follows him silently until the step outside into the hot August night.

"There's a little Thai place around the corner with outdoor seating."

They are quiet once more only speaking to order drinks and two dishes to share. And then it's Blaine who speaks first.

"I'm not going to take it back, if that's what you are thinking. I know I messed up before and I totally understand if you're going to tell me that it's too late, that I had my chance and now you've moved on, but it won't change the fact that I love her and I don't think I could have worried more if she were biologically mine."

For the first time in months, Kurt feels hopeful but this time he has to be sure before he puts his heart on the line once more.

"If this is you asking for a second chance you're not doing a very good job," he teases, giving Blaine an out if Kurt somehow misunderstood. Blaine's face falls though.

"I understand. I wish you'd give me a second chance but I understand if you won't."

Kurt stares at Blaine, Blaine stares at his glass of water. Finally, he finds his voice again.

"You're really oblivious sometimes. You honestly think I've moved on, when I'm still pining for you even after you turned me down?"

Blaine's smile is sudden and bright. "You do?"

Kurt shakes his head fondly, not knowing whether he should laugh or cry.

"God, Blaine. As long as you're sure that you're ready for this, of course I'll give you a second chance, what ever that means."

Kurt's certain he's showing teeth as he smiles, pinching his wrist to make sure this isn't just some elaborate dream and that Blaine really want's to be with him, wants to be a family.

"It means I want to take the two of you out as soon as Lexy is feeling better. I'd love to take you on a romantic date as well, but the first time we go out for real I want her to be a part of it. And I want to help you with her, really help you with her and not just be around for the fun stuff and leave when things get hard or you know, she needs another diaper or stuff like that. I want to be the one to put her to bed when you can't and I want to be the one who finally gets her to eat all her veggies. I just want to be a family. You, me and Lexy."

Before he can stop himself, Kurt leans over the table, nearly knocking over their water glasses and presses his dry lips to Blaine's equally dry ones. The kiss is short and tame compared to the first time they kissed, but it's still better this time because it means something, it means more than admitting to their shared attraction.

"Yes, I'd love that. All of it," he whispers after he pulls back.

Because it's all he's dreamed of since realizing his feelings for Blaine and now he can only hope that reality will be as good as his fantasy.

* * *

><p>The following Monday, Blaine shows up at Kurt's apartment shortly after 7 am so he can start the day with Kurt and Lexy as he had promised. His daughter had taken to crawling on the floor and pulling her left leg behind her since she was released from the hospital, but hadn't been outside again because it was difficult to get her around when you didn't have help. So to say she is excited about their outing would be an understatement.<p>

Kurt had seen Blaine almost daily since their talk, either at the theater or when he had dropped by to check on Lexy, but had decided to refrain from any physical intimacy until he and Blaine had a chance for another talk and though they'd seen each other, they hadn't had time to do so yet.

"Good morning," Blaine greets him with a kiss on the cheek before handing him a cup of coffee. "I don't know how you do it, but it's too early to be outside without coffee."

Kurt chuckles and takes the offered beverage.

"Trust me, before Lexy I wasn't a morning person either, and I still dream of the day when she won't need me anymore in the morning and I can sleep in again."

"So you think I'll get used to it?" Blaine asks before he yawns.

It's such a big change, seeing Blaine so confident about his role in their lives all of a sudden and Kurt's about to lean in and kiss him, lack of serious talk be damned, when Lexy calls for him from her bedroom.

"Daddy, potty."

Kurt raises an eyebrow in challenge.

"You said you wanted to do the not so fun parts as well. Why don't you go and help her while I make us breakfast. I hope you like blueberry pancakes."

Blaine nods nervously before slowing walking toward Lexy's bedroom while Kurt carries his coffee into the kitchen, thankful for the pick me up.

"You're sure I can do this?" Blaine calls after him and Kurt smiles at him encouragingly.

"Worst thing that can happen is that you get peed on and even I survived that," he says cheerfully before leaving a flabbergasted Blaine to deal with his daughter. He had offered to help after all.

He's just putting the batter for the first pancake into the pan, when Blaine walks into the kitchen, carrying Lexy in his arms and instead of putting her into her highchair sits her down on his lap so they can both watch Kurt cook.

"Hey sweetie, did Blaine help you all right?" he asks Lexy while he puts the first finished pancake on one of Lexy's Disney plates and makes a smiley face with blueberries and syrup.

"Blay make silly faces," Lexy giggles and makes grabby hands for her plate.

He waits until Blaine has managed to put her into her highchair before handing it to her and returning to the stove to finish breakfast for him and Blaine.

Everything goes well during breakfast and most of the syrup on Lexy's plate actually ends up in her mouth instead of on her pajama. Kurt calls it a win.

He cleans up the dishes while Blaine helps Lexy get dressed for their drip to Coney Island, picking the location after he discovered that Kurt had never taken her to the beach before. Because of his pale skin, Kurt had never been a fan of sun-related pastimes, and it had actually never crossed his mind before to take Lexy to the beach because even after having lived in New York for ten years he'd only been once, when James' boss had invited them to his house on Long Island.

When they finally emerge, Kurt forces a smile on his face, because Lexy's clothing is rather mismatched, but Blaine looks so proud that he can't put her into something else.

Outside of Kurt's building, Blaine's rental car is parked and Kurt nods approvingly when he spots the car seat in the back. The trunk is full of beach toys because – "you can't go to the beach and not build a sandcastle, Kurt" – and thankfully, also a large beach umbrella. If Blaine bought all that just for today, then they'll definitely have to go back when Lexy can walk again, he thinks as Blaine tries to buckle Lexy into her car seat.

Because it's still early when they get there, only shortly after nine, they leave their beach stuff in the car for the time being and stroll through the Coney Island amusement park where Blaine manages to win two stuffed animals; a stuffed kitten for Lexy and a stuffed giraffe for Kurt. After Blaine's winning streak ends, they ride a carousel, squished together in a little teacup clearly not designed for grown ups, but Lexy loves it so they go again because she can't do much else at the moment because of her cast.

Shortly before noon, Blaine buys hot dogs for him and Lexy and corn dogs for Kurt before they head back to the car to get the toys and umbrella. While Kurt carries Lexy and a bag full of sunscreen, hats and towels, Blaine tries to carry the rest without stabbing the other New Yorkers taking advantage of the hot August day with his beach umbrella.

The beach is busy for a Monday afternoon but Blaine finds them a spot close to the ocean that isn't crowded yet and also close to the facilities. While Blaine gets them set up, he and Lexy walk up to the little café to get changed. Not ready to just walk back to Blaine shirtless, he pulls his shirt back over his head and applies another layer of sunscreen to Lexy's pale skin. There's nothing he can do about his own back, but somehow he doubts that Blaine will refuse to help him out.

When they get back to Blaine, their towels are already shaded from the sun and Blaine, who's gorgeous in just his swim shorts, tanned in a way Kurt will never be, even if he stopped avoiding the sun like a vampire, has already started on his sandcastle. Kurt sits Lexy down close enough to help but still in the shade and watches for a bit as Blaine explains how they will build a castle for Princess Alexandra.

"If you want to go for a swim we'll be okay here," Blaine tells him as he shows Lexy how to build a tower and Kurt shakes his head almost violently.

"No thanks. I've never been in the ocean before and I don't have sunscreen on my back." Blaine gapes at him.

"Never? But how? You've lived in New York for ten years!" Kurt shrugs because it never seemed to be a big deal for him.

"My parents and I, and later just my dad and I used to go to a lake a lot when I was younger but the ocean was always too far away and when I moved here, I was way more interested in the city than tipping my toes into the ocean."

"Okay first," Blaine says and crawls behind Kurt. "I'm gonna put sunscreen on your back so you don't have to stay put all the time and as soon as Lexy goes down for her nap, we're going in. I'll hold your hand the whole time and you don't even have to swim. Just get wet at least once."

Kurt wants to refuse but then Blaine's hands are on him, pulling at the hem of his shirt until Kurt raises his arms and once Blaine actually applies the sunscreen, speech is not on the menu anymore.

They play with Lexy till her eyes start to droop and Kurt builds her a little nest for her nap. Once she's out cold, Blaine pulls him to his feet.

"We're not going far, okay. Just walk in and I promise will be right back with her in case she wakes up," Blaine says as if already knew what Kurt's next argument was going to be.

"Fine," Kurt concedes and follows Blaine to where small waves are coming to shore. The water's calm thankfully, but when he puts his toes in for the first time, he immediately pulls back again.

"That's freezing," he complains but Blaine just laughs.

"I know the Atlantic never really warms, but freezing is a bit of an exaggeration. You just have to go in fast and then you'll be used to it in no time," he tries to reassure Kurt, who's doubtful still.

And then Blaine just dives in, shaking his hair like a dog when he comes up again and spraying Kurt with the cold ocean water.

"Come on, Kurt," he pleads and Kurt takes a deep breath before he lets himself fall forward as well, only to be caught by Blaine's strong arms the moment the water comes up to his chest.

He doesn't really understand why people want to swim here, because the water really isn't warm, but Blaine looks so happy that Kurt has to smile as well. Still, he only stays inside long enough to submerge the rest of his body in the water as well, before sprinting back to their towels. Blaine follows at a more leisurely pace and when he sits down next to Kurt he's careful not to spray Lexy as well.

"Still sure about this?" Kurt asks hesitantly as he watches Blaine watch Lexy sleep because Blaine looks like he needs a nap himself but Blaine nods and moves closer to Kurt.

"I know you're worried that I'll change my mind and run away as soon as things get serious, but I promise that I'll do my best to make this, us work. It doesn't mean that I'm not scared anymore, because I am, I'm so scared of screwing this up, screwing something up that could turn out to be the best thing of my life, but I promise to really try. And if it doesn't work out for some reason, I swear that you won't lose me, that I'll still try to be a part of her life because I'd never want to hurt her or you on purpose. That's all I can give you and I just hope it's enough."

Kurt studies him for a moment.

"And you are absolutely certain that you understand that being with me means that you won't just be the fun uncle anymore, but will eventually help me raise her if everything works out?"

This is a big decision and he has to be sure Blaine really knows what he's signing up for, because while he's been around Lexy a lot since the fall, he always went back home after their outings while Kurt had to feed, bathe and take care of her.

"I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be, but I love you both and I want us to be a family one day," Blaine replies, his brown eyes staring into Kurt's blues which widen when he processes what Blaine said.

"You love me?"

"I thought I already said that."

"No, you only said you love Lexy," Kurt says because he would remember if Blaine had said it before."

"Huh," Blaine scratches the back of his neck. "I thought I had because loving you was never the issue."

Kurt swallows around the sudden lump in his throat. "Then in case it wasn't clear before, I love you too and I think we should head back to my apartment once Lexy wakes up and drop her off at one of her aunts on the way there."

They've danced around each other long enough, and Kurt's more than ready to take the plunge; to finally be with Blaine.

AN: Next update will probably be on Wednesday. This ended up a lot less angsty than I had planned originally but I thought that those of you who still watch Glee could use a pick me up :)


	16. Chapter 13

**AN:** I'm not so good with ratings but I guess the first part of the chapter is R – rated. So if you want to skip that you won't miss anything important. Just start reading at December 2022 instead of August.

**_CHAPTER 13_**

**Late August 2022**

Luckily, it takes little to no begging to get Rachel and Jesse to agree to let Lexy spend the night before he takes Blaine home with him.

The rental car abandoned around the corner, shoes are kicked off without care as they fall through the door, both unwilling to separate their lips for even one second.

"Bedroom," Kurt gasps as Blaine nips on his bottom lip and soothes the sting with his tongue. "Please," he adds breathlessly, more turned on than he has been in a long time.

"No," Blaine whines. "The couch is closer."

Kurt shakes his head though. "We're not having sex on the couch I bought with my ex."

"Good point," Blaine agrees before he pretty much drags Kurt to his bedroom.

Thankfully, because of the beach trip they're both in only t-shirts and shorts, which are shed quickly once they are inside Kurt's bedroom. Down to their underwear, they fall onto the bed, kicking the blankets off as they both try to touch as much skin as possible.

Kurt doesn't protest when Blaine crawls on top of him and grinds their erections together, both helplessly aroused after months of unresolved sexual tension.

"Can I?" Kurt asks, slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of Blaine's boxer-briefs and tugging on it. His new boyfriend nods eagerly, making his curls fly around wildly.

"God, yes, Kurt. Need to feel you," Blaine moans as he pushes into Kurt's hand.

Once Blaine's underwear is off, Kurt doesn't hesitate before he strips his own off as well. Then they're finally, _finally,_ naked, pressed against each other from head to toe and Kurt gasps when Blaine grinds against him without any layers between them.

"Why did we wait so long to do this," Kurt whines as Blaine keeps moving against him, the friction dry, but oh so good.

"Because I was an idiot and you had morals," Blaine moans before he spits into his hand and wraps it around both of them.

When his first ever boyfriend had done that, Kurt had been repulsed but with Blaine he finds it hot, not even blushing when he moans in pleasure.

"What do you want?" Blaine gasps, still jerking both of them off and he has to repeat the question before Kurt registers it.

"You, I want you," he moans, unable to form proper thoughts. "It's been so long."

Ten months to be exact since he realized his feelings for Blaine and stopped sleeping with his ex-husband.

"I haven't been with anyone since James," Kurt confesses even though it should hardly come as a surprise.

"Me neither, since Cameron and I broke up. Something inside me must have known that the only one I wanted was you," Blaine admits in return.

Unfortunately, Kurt remembers a tiny, but important detail then.

"I don't have condoms," he blurts out to his own mortification. Because he hasn't needed them in years and hadn't planned to take anyone home until Lexy is in college.

"Me neither," Blaine pouts. "I was hoping you'd give me a second chance, but I never dared to hope it would actually come to this."

They're suddenly way too coherent for Kurt's taste and he intends to rectify this as soon as possible.

"I'm clean," he assures Blaine. "James promised he never cheated on me, but I had to make sure nevertheless."

They've long stopped moving, lying side by side as they plan the next step in their only hours old relationship.

"Me too," Blaine tells him. "So if you still want to we can."

Kurt's still desperately aroused, so there's really only one answer.

"God yes!"

In the beginning, it's strange to have a man inside him again after such a long time, but Blaine's an incredibly attentive lover, checking that they're both okay every step of the way. Soon though, he's got Kurt moaning underneath him without a care for the neighbors who are probably just sitting down for dinner.

"Don't stop," Kurt begs, his back arched and his legs wrapped around Blaine's waist.

Blaine responds by wrapping a hand around him, making Kurt push back into his tight grip.

When they're done and they're both exhausted, sweaty and sticky, the sun still high in the sky, Kurt cuddles into Blaine's embrace.

"And you're absolutely sure that you're ready for this? You won't change your mind?"

Because even after the fantastic sex they just had, he has to be certain; has to ask one final time.

Blaine presses a kiss to Kurt's heart.

"I'm sure. Now that I have you, I won't ever let you go."

**December 2022**

Blaine moves in four months after they start dating. Some may say it's too soon, but they've been dancing around each other for months and played platonic family even longer. It's just before Christmas and Lexy keeps running around the apartment, looking into every box Blaine brings up in the hope of finding an early Christmas present.

Both he and Blaine had tried to convince her that Santa wouldn't deliver before Christmas Eve, but his daughter is certain Santa already brought presents because he only has their New York address.

They are spending Christmas in Lima, Christmas Eve with his parents at the Andersons who have fallen in love with Lexy the first time they met her and Christmas Day with their own families. Blaine's set to spend the rest of the trip with the Hummels, but they had agreed that Christmas Day would be spent with their own families so Blaine could see his brother Cooper and Cooper's new girlfriend who apparently is already pregnant after dating for a few months.

"Presents, presents," Lexy sings excitedly as she digs through a box of dishware that will probably end up in storage anyway.

"Sweetie, we haven't even gone to see Santa yet. How would he even know what to bring you?" Kurt asks her in the hopes of drawing her attention away from anything breakable.

"But he know," Lexy insists. "Daddy James bring gift from Santa."

Kurt sighs. James is spending Christmas in England with his family and had dropped off Lexy's present the previous day.

"That's because Santa still had your list from last year. And he has to start work early in England so he can be back in America in time for Christmas," Kurt explains, while Blaine, arms full with another box, tries not to laugh.

"I want to go to Engaland," Lexy huffs. "I want presents now."

Blaine drops his box and scoops her up.

"Me too," he tells Kurt's daughter. "So do you think we can wait for Santa together?"

Lexy considers it for a moment.

"Fine," she pouts, and in that moment she looks so much like Kurt, even though she has Brittany's blond hair and all she seems to have inherited from Kurt is his nose.

"Good," Blaine tells her. "I wasn't sure if I could wait this long on my own. So why don't you help me unpack these boxes and then we can go and tell Santa what we want for Christmas."

Three hours and most of Blaine's stuff unpacked later, the three of them are standing in line to meet Santa at Macy's. The line is long, but Blaine keeps Lexy entertained by telling her about all the fun things they are going to do at her grandpa Burt's house. Finally, they are in front of a tall man, dressed in a Santa suit with a long white, probably fake beard. Lexy climbs onto his lap eagerly.

"Ho ho ho, little Miss. What can Santa get you for Christmas?" the man asks Lexy while Blaine takes pictures of her with his cell phone.

"I want dolls, puzzles, dresses and coloring books," Lexy tells Santa. "And I don't want Daddy Blay leave like Daddy James," she adds, making Kurt nearly drop his own cellphone.

He and Blaine had tried to explain to Lexy why Blaine was moving in with them and what he meant to Kurt, but he never expected that because Lexy never called Blaine anything other than Blay. Kurt shares a quick look with Blaine to make sure he isn't freaking out, but Blaine has a huge smile on his face, like this is the best Christmas present ever.

"You are a lucky little girl, having so many daddies," Santa tells Lexy, who happily bounces on his lap.

"I have," she looks at her fingers and slowly counts them like Kurt had taught her. "One, two, three daddies."

"That's great," Santa assures her. "I only had one daddy."

"Poor Santa," Lexy pats his knee like she's seen her grandpa do with Kurt and Blaine, and Kurt quickly takes another picture, because if this is the Christmas where Lexy starts seeing Blaine as her dad, he'll want to remember it and have something for her to look at when she's older.

"Thank you. Now Ms.," Santa looks at Kurt who whispers 'Alexandra', "Alexandra, if you have been a good girl, Santa will bring you what you asked for."

Lexy claps excitedly before she reluctantly climbs off Santa's lap and into Kurt's arms. Kurt's just glad that they'd gone over her wishes weeks ago, so most of the things she wants will be under the tree come Christmas Day.

* * *

><p>Flying with a two and half year old is so much easier if you aren't on your own, Kurt thinks on their way to Lima. He can focus on getting his daughter on the plane, her small pink backpack slung over his shoulder, while Blaine takes care of the stroller and his and Kurt's carry ons. On the plane, Lexy sits between them and while Kurt makes sure there are no open beverages around, at least they don't disturb any strangers when Lexy can't make up their mind whether she wants to sit on daddy's or Blay's lap. Kurt even manages a short nap over Pennsylvania, when Blaine pulls out Lexy's new coloring books and helps her paint pretty princesses in the colors of the rainbow.<p>

At Columbus airport, Lexy is the first to spot grandpa Burt, perched on Blaine's shoulders. Kurt has a trolley full of suitcases while Blaine's pushing the stroller carrying Lexy's backpack and Kurt's messenger bag, so Kurt can wave his dad off when he offers his usual help.

It's the third time the three of them have flown together and Kurt already has a hard time remembering how he ever managed it alone.

The second time had been shortly after he and Blaine had gotten together, when Blaine's parents had insisted they come to Ohio for Labor Day so they could meet Kurt and Lexy.

Blaine's parents had fallen in love with Kurt's daughter immediately and had practically kidnapped her so Kurt and Blaine could have some alone time. By the time they had returned from the park and Kurt and Blaine had made sure they were presentable again, Lexy was calling Blaine's parents grandma Susan and grandpa Jack.

When they had driven down to Lima the next day, Kurt's parents had been ecstatic about Kurt's brand new relationship as well and while they thought it was a bit too short notice to get together with the Andersons, plans were made to get the families together for Christmas as Kurt and Blaine were going to spend Thanksgiving with their New York family like they had done the previous year.

It's going to be Kurt's first big family Christmas because even when he had been married, Kurt had always spent Christmas with his parents in Ohio and New Year's with James' parents in New York no matter how many times his ex-husband had invited him to celebrate in London. Had the invitation extended to Burt and Carole, Kurt wouldn't have hesitated and moved their Christmas celebrations to England, but James had never said anything about them and Kurt never wanted to spend Christmas away from the little family he had left.

"So, this thing tomorrow," his dad interrupts his musings. "How fancy is that gonna be?" Next to Kurt, Blaine blushes.

"My parents can go a bit overboard especially when it's their turn to entertain, but they know that this is just Christmas dinner with family and not a dinner to impress my dad's new boss. I even managed to convince my mom not to have dinner catered, so Kurt and I will go over earlier to help my mom with cooking dinner."

"You taking Lexy with you?" his dad asks, not used to having to share his time with his granddaughter yet. Kurt nods.

"Blaine's parents only get to see her one night and you'll have her for the next six days, when Blaine and I will be very happy to have two such amazing babysitters."

Burt chuckles. "So I'm guessing the two of you are gonna take advantage of me and Carole being crazy about the little munchkin while you are here."

Kurt nods and when Blaine blushes, his mind probably coming up with less PG-rated plans for their alone time, Kurt inconspicuously smacks his shoulder and whispers 'pervert' into his ear, making Blaine's cheeks turn even redder.

When they reach Kurt's house, he and Blaine drag their luggage upstairs to Kurt's room while Carole fawns over Lexy and Burt mumbles something about eggnog. Upstairs, Blaine bounces on the mattress, a big smile on his face as he watches Kurt unpack his suitcase.

"What?" Kurt asks him as he hangs tomorrow's outfit into this closet.

"I just thought that while I have nothing against your couch, I'm very happy that I can stay up here with you now."

Knowing that his daughter is safe and happy downstairs with his parents, Kurt pushes Blaine onto his back and crawls on top of him before kissing him deeply.

"Actually, my dad would have let you stay with me the first time you were here," he admits in between kisses down Blaine's neck.

"Then why didn't I?" Blaine whines when Kurt sucks an impressive hickey just below Blaine's collarbone where it we'll be easy to hide.

"Because back then, all you wanted from me was sex and I knew that if I let you into my bed my resolve would crumble and I would give in in a heartbeat."

"Well, I'm glad I came to my senses then," Blaine winks, "because that would be some truly spectacular sex I would be missing out on otherwise."

There's no way Kurt's going to dispute this claim and instead he rolls them so that Blaine is on top of him.

"Truly spectacular you say?" Kurt pushes Blaine's cardigan off his shoulders. "I think I need a reminder to know that you speak the truth."

Later, when they're exhausted but sated, Kurt thinks that he should leave Lexy with her grandparents more often if this is the outcome.

* * *

><p>The next day, Kurt and Blaine drive to the mall to get the gifts they didn't want to take on the plane with them, while Burt and Carole take their granddaughter to the park for some sledding. Just after they've bought the last item on their list – a new tool belt for Burt – Kurt gets a text from Mercedes inviting him to coffee at the Lima Bean, their former after school hangout.<p>

"I could drop you off and pick you up later when you're done," Blaine offers, assuming that he isn't invited as well, but Kurt shakes his head.

"No way I'm going to send you home when I can show you off instead."

Blaine blushes adorably but agrees to accompany Kurt to meet his best girl friend.

"Okay, please don't judge me, but I'm a bit nervous about meeting your friend," Blaine admits when they are back in Carole's car and driving toward the Lima Bean. "I mean, she won a Grammy last year."

Kurt looks at Blaine like he's lost his mind. "Honey, you won two Tonys for your first musical when you were twenty-one instead of just finishing your junior year of college like the rest of your former classmates, so in case you have forgotten, you're kinda famous yourself." Blaine shakes his head.

"You know that's not true. People know my name but not even a musical fan like you knew who I was when we met. Your friend has a bodyguard and fans who want to take pictures with her. That's huge."

"If you hadn't missed the Tonys back then," Kurt teases, "I probably would have known who you are. And when you are at the theater, people always want you to sign their Playbills."

"I didn't think I would win, so I didn't want to cut my first trip to Australia short," Blaine pouts. "And as you said, I was twenty-one and suddenly had money for spontaneous trips wherever I wanted to go in the world. An award show where I didn't have a chance in hell anyway, didn't seem too important."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I'm telling you right now; if I ever get nominated for a Tony, we're gonna be there no matter what our previous plans were. Only exceptions are health issues in the family, do you understand?" he mock threatens.

Blaine nods dutifully, a smile on his face however as they pull into the parking lot in front of the Lima Bean.

Mercedes is already waiting for them in a corner, her back to the other patrons to avoid being spotted by her fans. After pulling Kurt to her chest, he isn't surprised when she pulls Blaine into a tight hug next.

"So I finally get to meet the famous Blaine," she smiles and Kurt beams at her because he wants his friends to like Blaine. Back in New York, everyone had been happy for them when he and Blaine had 'finally gotten their shit together' and while he didn't expect a different reaction from Mercedes, it makes him happy to know she approves.

They spend an hour with Mercedes at the Lima Bean, Kurt sipping his tall Moccachino, and Blaine a venti Pumpkin Spiced Latte, before it's time for them to go home and change to make it to Blaine's parents on time.

"How long are you in town? Do you have time to meet up again?" Mercedes asks when Kurt and Blaine say their goodbyes.

"I'm flying back early on the 27th because I can't miss too many shows, and Blaine and Lexy will follow on the 30th. So yeah, if you're free before the 27th we can meet up again," Kurt replies and Mercedes raises her eyebrow.

"Blaine's taking her back to New York on his own?"

Blaine fidgets under Mercedes' scrutiny so Kurt laces their fingers together, Ohio coffee shop patrons be damned.

"It's really not that big of a deal, Mercedes. Blaine and Lexy are alone together all the time when I'm on stage and this way my parents can spend more time with her and Blaine can visit with friends from Dalton."

"That's great," Mercedes assures them. "Just give me a call on the 26th when you are free."

Back in the car, Kurt notices that Blaine's a little pale.

"Hey, you know she wasn't questioning your ability to take care of Lexy, right?" Blaine shrugs and continues to stare out of the window.

"I know and you're probably right. I've never had a problem taking care of her before, but what if something goes wrong on the plane?"

Kurt just smirks because it's been a long time since he worried about leaving Lexy in Blaine's care.

"Then you'll find out what it's like when everyone's staring at you and silently judging you for your apparent inability to handle your kid." Blaine groans, but he's already looking less pale.

"You always know just the right thing to say. Remind me again why I'm doing this?"

"Because you love us," Kurt sing-songs, still on cloud nine even though it's been months since Blaine said it for the first time.

Blaine takes advantage of the red light they're at and draws Kurt in for a brief kiss.

"Yes, I do."

* * *

><p>Kurt's just finished changing into his outfit for dinner in Blaine's old bedroom after helping Susan cook dinner, when the doorbell rings and he rushes downstairs to be there for the first meeting of the Hummels and Andersons.<p>

Carole's wearing the dress Kurt helped her pick the previous year and even his dad has forgone his usual flannel shirt and baseball cap combo, wearing dark jeans, dress shoes and a lovely dark blue shirt underneath a blazer instead. His parents still look a bit underdressed compared to the Andersons though, who are wearing a full suit and a designer dress.

While Kurt and Blaine got changed after cleaning up the worst of the mess they made in the kitchen, Susan helped Lexy into her new dress, violet with black dots and put a bow in the same colors into her hair. Spying her other grandparents, she twirls on the spot, showing off her new outfit to Burt and Carole who coo over her and tell her what a pretty girl she is while Jack takes their coats to the coatroom.

"Mom, Dad, these are Kurt's parents Burt and Carole," Blaine introduces everyone when Jack returns. Blaine's dad shakes hands with Burt while his mom kisses Carole on both cheeks catching her by surprise just as she had Kurt when they'd been introduced.

"Nice to meet you both. I'm Jack and this is my wife Susan."

The six of them plus Lexy move into the Anderson's living room then, the adults sharing a bottle of white wine before dinner while Lexy manages not to spill any hot chocolate on her new dress. Just for that, Kurt thinks about labeling the evening a success.

Dinner is carrot-ginger soup followed by a pumpkin risotto for the grown ups and chicken noodle soup followed by Spaghetti with meatballs for Kurt's daughter because he know from experience that she won't eat the soup and there's plenty of wine in the risotto. It's not what they're usually having for Christmas dinner, but because the Andersons are the hosts Kurt and Blaine had let Susan decide what they are making. Dessert is all Kurt however, cheesecake and ice cream in addition to his homemade gingerbread cookies.

After the first course, Kurt and Blaine combine forces as they try to convince Lexy to wear a shirt over her dress for the main course to avoid getting tomato sauce on it, which ends with both Kurt and Blaine wearing old Dalton hoodies Blaine kept in his old bedroom over their fancy dinner outfits because Lexy refused to wear hers if her daddies didn't do the same.

It's a bit confusing for him and Blaine, because while Lexy refers to Blaine as her daddy as well, she still calls him Blay, but they've decided together to let her make up her own mind and let her call Blaine whatever she wants.

When they are sitting back down for dinner, Kurt and Blaine in matching Dalton Academy hoodies and Lexy in one of Blaine's old Dalton P.E t-shirts that's so big on her it covers her whole dress, both sets of grandparents snap pictures of them with their cell phones and while Kurt scowls and pretends to hate it, he already knows that he'll print multiple copies of the picture so he can have one for his dressing room, one for his wallet and one for their apartment as it's the first proper picture showing the three of them as a family.

Per the Hummel's family tradition Lexy is allowed to open one present before she's sent to bed in her new big girl bed the Andersons have bought for occasions like this where Lexy is spending the night. Happy with her new doll, she takes a bath without a fuss and falls asleep quickly after he and Blaine duet on 'White Christmas' for her.

"Lexy asleep?" his dad asks, when he and Blaine come back downstairs to another bottle of wine and cookies Susan has bought at a local famers market because she doesn't know how to bake herself. It doesn't surprise him, because before Kurt started teaching Blaine a few things in the kitchen, his boyfriend had been living on take out and pasta.

Shortly before midnight, Jack raises his glass for a toast. "To the merging of our families," he smiles. "May this be the first of many shared family Christmases."

Even though it's not New Year's Eve, he and Blaine still share a kiss when the clock strikes midnight moments later, because this is what Kurt's been wanting since the moment his crush on Blaine turned into something more.

A shared future together.

**END OF PART 3**


	17. Final Interlude

**_Final Interlude_**

**_June 2023_**

Kurt's pacing the living room floor while Blaine's out picking up Lexy from her aunts Brittany and Santana. He'd feigned a headache to get out of tonight's performance, needing time to go through the pros and cons of joining the first national tour of 'Ace of Spades' once more. It's a big decision now that his daughter is starting pre-school in the fall unless Kurt decides to do the tour, which would mean dragging her across the country instead of providing her with a steady schedule. He knows the timing could be worse, after all Lexy isn't in school yet, but Kurt also remembers what constant traveling has done to her in the past and therefore isn't sure if he should do it to her again on a much larger scale.

"I'm not ready to give up a dream role," he says into the empty apartment, "and I've always wanted to go on tour at least once. But con," he sighs, "going on tour would mean a different city every few days and even with Blaine by my side it would definitely disrupt Lexy's sleep schedule."

No matter how he looks at it, the cons just outweigh the pros. At least his understudy, Kyle, will get a chance to really shine when Kurt declines to do the tour.

"Daddy, you're home!" Lexy throws herself at Kurt when she and Blaine come through the front door a few minutes later.

Kurt picks her up and ruffles her sun-kissed blond hair before loudly kissing her cheek to make her laugh.

"I thought I would spend tonight with my two favorite people," he tells her as Blaine mouths 'are you feeling better?'.

When Lexy runs off to her bedroom to put her backpack away, Kurt steps into Blaine's open arms and kisses him deeply.

"I'm fine, but we need to talk when in Lexy is in bed." Blaine frowns and Kurt's quick to assure him that it's nothing bad.

"Alright," Blaine agrees before he runs after Lexy to get her ready for her bath.

Most nights, it's Blaine who takes care of Lexy now while Kurt's on stage, after Katie moved to Chicago a few months ago and they decided it was stupid and a waste of money to keep hiring babysitters when Blaine wasn't needed at the theater and could easily work on new songs while keeping an eye on their daughter. Because no matter what her birth certificate says, she's theirs now and he and Blaine had signed all the necessary documents that would allow Blaine to make decisions in case of an emergency shortly after Blaine had moved in.

After Lexy's bath, Kurt reads her a story from a book of fairytales that belonged to his mother, before he and Blaine sing her to sleep with songs from 'The Lion King', her current favorite Disney movie. Once she's asleep and Kurt's turned on her night-light, he joins his boyfriend on the couch and accepts a glass of wine from him.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Blaine asks as he hands Kurt one of the glasses.

"The tour. I've looked at it from every angle but I don't think I can do it. It would be too stressful for Lexy," Kurt says after taking a sip and facing his boyfriend on the couch.

"I understand. But Kurt, if you really want to do the tour, we'll find a way. I could stay in New York with Lexy and we'll come see you when you're stopping closer to the city. I know it wouldn't be ideal, but I think we could manage," Blaine offers and Kurt considers it for a moment before he shakes his head.

"No. She's finally being raised by two parents and I don't want to go back to how things were with James just with me being gone. I'll be sad to give up the role but I'm sure something else will come up. And if not, I'll be happy spending more time with Lexy as well," he states honestly, squeezing Blaine's hand to show him that he appreciates the offer.

A ping alerts Blaine to a new text message and he rolls his eyes. "It's Dakota again. Keeps asking me if we've checked our emails yet."

Kurt frowns. He had done so a few hours ago but nothing important had caught his eye. Still, he picks up his tablet and opens his email app. Frowning, he reads through the new emails that don't try to sell him Viagra.

"I have an email from a British producer. Says he's trying to get the rights to 'Ace' for the West End and wants me to reprise 'Nate' if he gets them," Kurt summarizes the content for Blaine.

"Mine is from our co-producers urging me to give London the go ahead," Blaine reads from his own tablet, a brand new iPad 10 Kurt's incredibly jealous of.

They share a look before Blaine clears his throat.

"Is that something you could see yourself doing? Going to London for a year?"

Kurt shrugs because he's honestly never thought about it before. The only thing he associates with London are Lexy's other grandparents and his first wedding, but he's never entertained the thought that he would get an offer for the West End one day.

"I know that Henry and Edith would like to see Lexy more often," Kurt muses. Ever since the divorce, they'd gone from four times a year to just a few Skype calls and New Year's because James' parents always fly to New York to ring in the new year. "But would that even work for us?"

Blaine shrugs. "I can compose everywhere as long as I have a piano and Lexy can go to pre-school in London as well. It's not like we'd move to a country where neither of us knows the language."

Kurt hums in agreement. If ever they want to do something like leave the country for a year, now would probably be the best time because Lexy isn't in school yet and though she likes to play with the other kids in Kurt's single parents group she hasn't really made friends yet that she would be missing.

"Did they say when they would wanna start?" Blaine checks his email.

"They want to start rehearsal early October and premiere the first weekend of December," he reads. Kurt quickly does the math.

"So I would have six weeks off before they expect me to start rehearsing. We could go on a proper vacation and spend a week or two in Ohio before making the move."

"Sounds like you made up your mind," Blaine teases with a big smile on his face and Kurt realizes that he has, even though he's only known about the offer for a few minutes. Apparently, Blaine's impulsiveness is rubbing off on him.

"I think we still have to talk about it more; figure out the logistics. Lexy has dual citizenship and I assume I would get a work visa, but I won't go if you can't come with us. And I'd have to talk to our landlord about subletting the apartment because I'm not ready to give it up for good. But if we can do all that and the British production is willing to help us out with finding an apartment and a pre-school for Lexy, I think spending some time in London could be an amazing experience. After all, I just turned thirty," Kurt groans. "If I don't do this now I'm going to be too old soon."

Blaine rolls his eyes. "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. People always assume you are the younger of the two of us when we are out together. And I'm certain I don't look a day over twenty-four and ten months," he adds jokingly.

"Speaking of over-inflated ego, do you think they asked Jesse as well?" Kurt changes the subject because he hasn't really come to terms yet with the fact that from now he's going to be a thirty-something. Compared to Blaine's nearly twenty-five he feels ancient.

Blaine nods his head. "I'm sure they asked him, but Jesse has already committed to doing the tour because Rachel got a tour as well with a revival of 'Funny Girl' and apparently their itineraries are going to be similar. But I'm sure you'll make friends with the cast. You didn't have any problems doing so here either," Blaine assures him.

"You are aware that I ended up with one of the friends I made," Kurt teases, causing Blaine to tackle him on the couch.

"Never mind, I take it back. You're definitely not making friends there." Kurt rolls his eyes.

"You do realize that between the two of us, I'm the one who's immune to the British accent. Being married to a Brit will do that to you."

"Then maybe you should remind me who I belong to," Blaine whispers into Kurt's ear.

Unsurprisingly, they end up making out on the couch taking advantage of Kurt not being at the theater for once. Before things go too far however, Blaine pulls back and hauls Kurt to his feet.

"How about we move this to the bedroom and properly celebrate West End's new star."

Kurt rolls his eyes fondly but when Blaine tugs on his hands, he follows his boyfriend eagerly, because even without a reason to celebrate, he'd never say no to Blaine.

* * *

><p>More evenings pass, during which they hammer out the details and make a plan for the rest of the summer. In the end, he and Blaine decided to go to Lima first so Lexy can spend time with her grandparents while he and Blaine pack everything they want to take to England with them. After going through their shared finances, Blaine had convinced him that they could easily keep paying for the apartment while they are gone, which means they'll have a place to come back to if they ever want to fly home during their year abroad and can move right back in when Kurt's contract is up.<p>

The two of them had also decided not to go on a vacation in the US when Blaine had remembered that Kurt had never been to the European mainland before. Armed with the knowledge that shipping their belongings would take a while anyway, Blaine had booked a flight to Florence, so they could spend a week in Tuscany before driving up to Venice and flying to London. Lexy would then spend a week and a half with her British grandparents while Blaine took Kurt to Paris and the Côte d'Azur. By the time they went back to London, their luggage should have arrived and they would move into their new London apartment, a two bedroom flat in Soho and therefore walking distance to the theater.

James' parents, when after talking to James, had heard the news from Kurt, had been the ones to suggest a pre-school two tube stops from their new home and had gone as far as calling the headmaster to secure their granddaughter a spot. So they were all set.

**_July 2023_**

"Are we flying to Engaland today?" Lexy asks for the umpteenth time while they are standing in line for baggage check.

Kurt sighs and squats down so he is on her eye level.

"Sweetheart, we've talked about it. Blaine is taking you to see your grandparents and I will join you in a week so we can all have fun together with grandma and grandpa. Then we'll fly to Italy and go to the beach," he adds, knowing how much Lexy likes the beach and the ocean since the very first time Blaine took her there, "and then we'll go to England so you can spend some time with grandpa Henry and grandma Edith, okay."

Lexy nods, though she doesn't look happy. Kurt doesn't think it's because he's not going to Lima with them right now – he still has to perform one last time before the OBC will be replaced and Jesse and a few others go on tour – because Blaine has traveled with her before and everything had been okay.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks her, having cottoned on to her mood as well.

Lexy crosses her arms over her chest like she's seen Kurt do a hundred times.

"I want to go to Engaland now. You say Santa always start work early in Engaland," she huffs and Kurt just shakes his head at his daughter's antics.

Other kids would be excited about going on a vacation, but all she thinks about are early Christmas present.

"I'll talk to her on the plane," Blaine interrupts, finally luggage free, and Kurt takes his hand while Lexy holds his other as they walk toward security control where he lifts Lexy into his arms.

"Listen sweetie, be good for your grandparents and listen to what Blaine tells you, okay. I'll call you on Skype everyday and you can always call me at night if you have trouble sleeping," he promises before giving her a big kiss on her cheek.

"And I'll see you tomorrow night," he tells Blaine before briefly pressing their lips together. There's no need to make a scene when they're going to have a whole week to themselves before flying out to Lima for one week with their parents.

They had considered sending Lexy to Lima on her own, but because money wasn't really an issue anymore and Blaine had the time, they had decided that he would take her and fly back to New York the next day to help Kurt pack.

"Of course. I'm not going to miss your last show. You're gonna need help carrying all the flowers home you'll probably get," Blaine smiles and Kurt just has to kiss him again.

"Daddy, let's go," Lexy interrupts their goodbyes, pulling on Blaine's hand and totally ignoring Kurt. It gets confusing sometimes when she calls them both daddy, but if that's what she wants to do, they aren't going to stop her, especially because Kurt knows how much Blaine likes to be call daddy by Lexy.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming," Blaine laughs before he blows Kurt one last kiss and walks away.

* * *

><p>With Blaine back in New York and Kurt done with the theater, he feels like he did shortly after he got married – young and carefree – as the only reminders that this is only temporary are the toys Lexy didn't insist on taking to Lima with her. They go to bed late and never get up before ten and they have sex, tons of sex, though Kurt insists that all rooms apart from their bedroom and bathroom are taboo. It feels like they are already on vacation, even though they spend a few hours a day packing up everything they want to bring to London with them – mostly clothes for all seasons and Lexy's toys.<p>

On Friday, their friends organize a little going away party in Brittany and Santana's apartment. Lexy's aunts have already made plans to come and visit for Thanksgiving, citing that Kurt can host his orphans dinner anywhere, and Kurt's happy about it because he knows how much Lexy loves spending time with them.

It's strange at first, being able to spend the night drinking without having to worry about babysitters or collecting Lexy on time the next day, and from the way Blaine lets lose, Kurt can tell that he needed this break just as much as Kurt did. After Santana convinces Kurt to do body shots off of Blaine all bets are off and he isn't surprised when he wakes up on Santana's couch the next day, Blaine hanging half off it next to Kurt.

They spend the rest of the day trying to get rid of their hangovers and by the time their plane lands in Lima, Kurt finally feels human again. Totally worth it, he thinks though when he remembers how much fun he and Blaine had at the party. Maybe they should try and go out more once they are in London because while Kurt doesn't feel like the youngest anymore, Blaine's not even twenty-five yet and deserves the occasional night out, so he won't ever regret his decision.

**_August 2023_**

After a week of spending time with Burt, Carole and on occasion the Andersons, Kurt, Blaine and Lexy fly back to New York for a final round of laundry and rechecking with their cleaning lady that she has all keys and knows where to forward their mail to. Their flight to Italy is the next day and by the time Lexy's bedtime comes around, Kurt's certain he is even more excited than his daughter about the trip because he's always wanted to go to Europe and now that dream is finally coming true.

He and Blaine share a sigh of relief the next evening, when Lexy falls asleep between them soon after dinner is served on the plane and miraculously manages to sleep through the flight until breakfast six hours later. She's clingy, however, during their two hours layover at Munich airport and bursts into tears when Kurt tries to leave her with Blaine to get more coffee so they won't suffer from jetlag too badly. When Blaine offers to go instead, she isn't appeased however, and in the end, the whole family relocates to a coffee shop for a second breakfast. By the time they arrive in Florence, Kurt wants nothing more than go to sleep, but he's learned his lesson the first time he flew to Europe and unfortunately knows now that he'll have to stay awake for the rest of the day if he doesn't want to screw up his sleep schedule.

While Blaine takes care of their rental car, he and Lexy get their luggage. Luckily, she is more awake after another nap on the plane and again has no trouble being left with either of them. It's nearly noon by the time they arrive at their hotel, and after a lunch of various pasta dishes, the three of them lay down together for a nap. Once he and Blaine don't feel like they will fall asleep any moment now, they take a tour of the city, Blaine focusing on the architecture while Kurt and Lexy check out the stores.

They have an early dinner at a restaurant recommended by the concierge; pizza quatro staggione for Lexy and cozze al vino bianco (mussels in white wine) and risotto alle verdure (vegetable risotto) for him and Blaine to share. Kurt can't remember the last time he went to bed at nine o'clock but it doesn't matter because he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

The next day, after checking out of the hotel and storing their luggage in the rental car, the three of them climb to the top of the cathedral before strolling to the Ponte Vecchio, a medieval bridge that has shops built along it as was customary at the time it was built. After more pizza and pasta for lunch, Blaine takes the wheel for their drive to Siena, a city fifty miles south of Florence.

"I need to find a gym when we get to London," Kurt grumbles, because there's no way he won't gain wait if he keeps eating pasta et al. for the rest of their stay in Italy.

"Let's have fish tonight," Blaine agrees. "I'll check the guide book for a recommendation."

By the time they reach their destination, Lexy is refreshed from her nap and anxious to explore the city.

"Come on, daddies," she pulls his and Blaine's hands toward the colorfully decorated Piazza del Campo.

While Blaine visits the cathedral, he and Lexy get ice cream at a little café facing the 12th century church, because while Kurt can appreciate its architectural value, he's really not interested in visiting a bunch of churches that would be less than welcoming if he and Blaine acted like a couple. And he would never do that to his daughter; introduce her to people who think she'd be better off with heterosexual strangers than her real parents.

"Daddy," Lexy interrupts his musings. "When do we go to the beach? You say we go to Italy for the ocean."

"Tomorrow," Kurt replies. "We're driving to Pisa in the morning where they have a tower that's leaning over and then we'll go to the beach in the afternoon."

"Yay," Lexy claps excitedly, her spoon clattering into her bowl and splattering her dress with chocolate ice cream. "Oops," she adds, her blue eyes widening in shock when she spots the dark spots on her new yellow dress.

"Come here," Kurt sighs, having feared something like this would happen the moment Lexy decided on chocolate ice cream.

He quickly sprays her dress with an emergency stain remover he always carries with him since Lexy started eating something other than formula. Fortunately, it takes care of the chocolate stains quickly and by the time Blaine returns from his church excursion, Lexy's dress is clean and both their bowls are empty.

"You could have saved me some," Blaine pouts and instead of wiping her mouth with a napkin like Kurt told her to, Lexy presses her ice cream sticky lips to Blaine's cheek.

"Now you have ice cream too," she tells him matter-of-factly and Kurt has to suppress a laugh instead of scolding her.

"You can get a cone," he tells his boyfriend, because they have plans to explore the rest of the city before dinner at a fish restaurant.

The next morning, they check out of their hotel early and drive to Pisa where Lexy tries to push over the leaning tower and Kurt and Blaine alternately take pictures of them fake holding up the tower, which Blaine immediately has to share on twitter.

BDAnderson: look how strong KurtEHummel is [instagram link]

As promised, they spend the rest of the day at the beach, building sandcastles with Lexy and unsuccessfully trying to get her to swim. It's not that she doesn't know how – she's had swimming lessons since she was six months old at least once every two weeks – but that she doesn't want to let go off him or Blaine even though she's wearing arm floats. Kurt suspects that she's intimidated by the waves, which are much higher than she is used to from New York.

"How about we take a pedal boat out once she wakes up," Blaine suggests while Lexy takes a nap under the beach umbrella they've bought from a street vendor. "I think I saw some with slides."

"And is that for you or for her," Kurt teases him, though he has to admit that renting a boat sounds like fun, even if it means being out in the sun without protection.

Lexy, awake and informed about their plans, is ecstatic about the slide as well but once they are on the boat and put some distance between them and the beach, she refuses to slide into the water unless one of her daddies is there to catch her.

"You go," Kurt tells Blaine, because as long as he stays out of the water, his sunscreen won't wash off.

Blaine slides into the water, screaming like a little kid, while Kurt secures Lexy's hat and makes sure her floaters have enough air. Only when he's certain that she's protected from drowning and the sun, does he help her climb up the slide and holds her in place until she's happy with Blaine's position in the water.

For at least fifteen minutes, Kurt's there to help his daughter back onto the boat and slide into Blaine's waiting arms before he's getting a little warm himself without an umbrella to hide under.

"You wanna switch?" he asks Blaine to both their surprise before he abandons his post and slides into the ocean as well. Fortunately, the water's perfect compared to the cold Atlantic he's gotten used to in New York thanks to Blaine and Lexy's obsession with the beach.

When their hour is up, they return to the beach where he and Blaine play soccer with Lexy until their stomachs rumble and they drive back to Pisa to check into their hotel for the night to get ready for dinner.

Day four and five of their Tuscany tour are spent in Lucca, Bologna and Ravenna as they cross the country to the Adriatic Sea. While Lexy seems to enjoy the stops in the cities well enough, Kurt knows his daughter can't wait to go back to the beach and if he's being quite honest, he's actually looking forward to a lazy day on the beach as well.

They are having breakfast in Ravenna when Blaine gets the call.

"Yes, this is Blaine Anderson," his boyfriend answers his phone while Kurt tries to convince Lexy to eat her eggs.

"Yes, that's correct. … No, we aren't there yet, but we will tonight. … Yes, we have reservations. … I don't think it would be a problem. … Tomorrow at 2. … I'll be there."

"What was that about?" Kurt asks when Blaine ends the call and switches his empty plate with Lexy's. It has the desired effect that his daughter starts eating again because she's not okay with having her food stolen.

"That was someone from Universal Studios. Apparently Jason Ackerman wants me to write the music for his next film and when they found out we're in Italy they thought it would be a perfect time for us to meet."

"Jason Ackerman? Remind why the name sounds familiar."

"He was nominated for two Oscars last year for 'Falling Slowly," Blaine replies after taking a sip from his orange juice.

"Oh, we loved that movie," Kurt remembers. At first, they'd only decided to go see it because his friend Artie from high school was the second assistant director on it, but in the end he and Blaine were both in love with the quirky, indie movie.

"So, apparently he has more budget now and wants original songs for his next film. And he's in Venice right now because his current film is premiering tonight at the film festival. The lady on the phone said she booked us a suite in one of the festival hotels so I can easily meet with Jason tomorrow afternoon."

Well, Kurt's not going to say no to free accommodations, especially because the hotel they have reservations for is kind of expensive even though it's not in a great part of the city.

"I'll call the hotel and cancel our reservations," he tells Blaine before finishing his own breakfast now that Lexy is done with hers.

"Beach, beach, beach," she sings as they leave the hotel together and Kurt scoops her up and throws her into the air, even though she's actually quite heavy and he's not sure how much longer he'll be able to do it.

Some times he has a hard time acknowledging how fast she's growing up, when not too long ago he couldn't wait for her to be less dependent on him. But that was back when he was raising her on his own and barely ever had time for himself. Now that Blaine's part of their life, things most certainly have changed for the better.

* * *

><p>"And you're sure it's okay that I'm coming with you?" Blaine asks.<p>

They are sitting on the terrace of the hotel Excelsior on the Venice Lido, enjoying the late August sun surrounded by journalists, celebrities and cineastes. Before, while Blaine talked to Jason, Kurt and Lexy played soccer on the beach until his boyfriend had sent a waiter to come and fetch them. Now, Lexy is asleep in a large wicker chair while he and Blaine sip their Campari sodas and enjoy their final day in Italy before they fly to London to drop Lexy off at her English grandparents'.

"What do you mean?" Kurt replies and adjusts his sunglasses, which keep slipping down his nose.

"To James' parents' house. You think I'll be welcome?" Blaine clarifies.

With his black hair and tanned skin, Kurt isn't surprised when people keep coming up to Blaine and try to talk to his boyfriend in Italian, but after a week under the Italian sun, even Kurt has managed a very light tan. Or so Blaine insists, because all he sees when he looks into the mirror are thousands of new freckles.

"Of course it is," Kurt reassures Blaine. "It's not like they don't know about you after all and you're an important part of their granddaughter's life."

And he had called Edith before they left New York to let her know that Blaine would be with them when he brought Lexy to their house.

Blaine nods. "It's strange though because I've definitely never met the parents of a boyfriend's ex before."

Kurt chuckles. "Tell me about it. But Lexy is their only grandchild so they want to spend as much time with her as they possibly can. And Lexy seems to like them well enough for people she mostly sees through Skype."

The girl in question briefly stirs in the chair she's curled up in, but doesn't wake up. Thanks to a week in the sun, her blond hair is even blonder than usual and though both her biological parents have fair skin and Kurt always puts multiple layers of sunscreen on her, she's managed to get a bit of a tan as well and unlike Kurt, fortunately barely any freckles.

"You know what? I think we should take Jason up on his offer and leave Lexy with their babysitter and go to that party you are invited to," Kurt suggests after looking over his daughter's sleeping form once more.

Because as fun as their family vacation has been so far, they haven't had a single night to themselves since leaving New York. And they're both still young and should take advantage of party invitations like the one Blaine got. It's to the premiere party of one of the films in competition for the Golden Lion and while Kurt is familiar with theater parties, he's always been curious about the Hollywood equivalent.

"I'll give Jason a call," Blaine agrees immediately, reminding Kurt that this has only been Blaine's life for eight months and the lack of an active social life is still something he's getting used to.

Luckily, Jason has a daughter Kurt's age and the girls hit it off immediately when he and Blaine drop her off at Jason's suite around seven. After he and Blaine kiss her goodbye, they join Jason and his wife Elle on a boat to the hotel Cipriani, famous for its film festival parties and years ago, George Clooney's second wedding. These days, they aren't poor by any rate, but when Kurt hears about the price for the cheapest room – a 'modest' 1500 $ a night - he nearly spits the expensive champagne back into his glass, as Jason guides them through the patio and introduces Blaine to his collaborators.

To his surprise, Kurt gets recognized quite a bit as well and he tries not to blush when one of his favorite actresses complements his performance and tells her companion that Kurt's performance is a must see.

"Oh, that's really nice of you," he stammers, "but I'm not performing it on Broadway anymore. I will reprise the role in London though, beginning of December."

"You are so star struck," Blaine teases him gently when they are alone again and Kurt knows he can't deny it. He may have made a name for himself on Broadway but before today, the only sort of famous people he'd ever met were his friends and his boyfriend.

"I saw how you drooled over Chris Hemsworth when we came in," he retorts nevertheless because clearly he isn't the only one who's impressed by the people they get to spend an evening with.

"I can't help that he still looks this hot at forty," Blaine pouts and Kurt kisses him briefly before leaning in to whisper into his ear.

"As long as you still find me hot when I turn forty all's forgiven."

Blaine smiles at him before cupping his cheek and looking right into Kurt's eyes.

"I can't image there'll ever come a day when I won't find you hot," he whispers and if those hotel rooms weren't so damned expensive, Kurt would have dragged him off to have his way with him right this moment.

Instead, they spend the rest of the night drinking and dancing with the rich and famous and though Kurt can honestly say by the time they leave that he prefers parties with his friends, he and Blaine had a blast. It's nearly four o'clock when they collect Lexy from Jason's suite and carry her downstairs to their own room. Their plane for London leaves at two, and while Kurt isn't looking forward to having to get up in less than four hours he doesn't regret their night out one bit. Because sometimes, it's nice to forget all about his responsibilities and have fun like a childless couple.

* * *

><p>They arrive at the London Gatwick airport around four the next afternoon, Lexy excited to see her other grandparents again while Kurt and Blaine want nothing more than go back to sleep after Lexy woke them around seven and refused to go back to bed because she wanted to go to Engaland right away.<p>

James' parents, Henry and Edith Patterson, are waiting for them at the airport, after having convinced Kurt that a rental car for one day would be a waste of time and money. Kurt hadn't protested because the prospect of having to drive on the other side of the road seemed pretty daunting and he definitely didn't want his first time driving a British car to be in London.

When they approach the couple in their mid fifties, Blaine's grip on Kurt's hand tightens and Kurt just hopes that everything will go well. Luckily, Lexy runs over to her other grandparents when she spots them and the stuffed elephant Henry brought along, distracting the Pattersons while he and Blaine approach them at a more leisurely pace.

"Are you excited about being in England?" Edith asks when he and Blaine reach his ex-husband's parents and Lexy nods before she tells her grandparents that she wants to talk to Santa as soon as possible.

"Santa?" Henry frowns and both Kurt and Blaine press their lips together tightly so they won't burst out laughing.

"We told her that Santa starts work earlier in England to explain why James had a Christmas present for her when we hadn't visited Santa yet," Kurt whispers into his form father-in-law's ear, who barks out a laugh before relaying the story to his wife, who giggles as well.

"It's good to see you again, Kurt," she greets him with a kiss to his cheek before she turns to Blaine.

"And you must be Blaine. It's nice to meet you. James said you are a very talented musician."

In that moment, Kurt's very glad that James and Blaine get along these days because he can imagine how uncomfortable this meeting would be if James didn't like Kurt's boyfriend and let his parents know about it.

"It's nice to meet you too," Blaine replies, his grip on Kurt's hand still too tight, but at least he doesn't look like he's going to throw up any moment anymore. "Lexy's been talking about how much she was looking forward to seeing 'Engaland grandma and grandpa' for weeks."

Blaine has to let go of Kurt's hand to shake Henry's and Kurt can tell from the way Blaine winces that Henry squeezed his hand pretty hard. But he expected that because Henry hadn't been happy when he heard about the divorce because he believed marriage was for life and people shouldn't break up unless one partner was violent. Falling out of love was not one of the acceptable reasons for a divorce in James' father's eyes.

Blaine discreetly shakes out his hand when they follow Henry and Edith to their car, Lexy holding hands with her grandparents while Kurt quietly tries to reassure Blaine that he is welcome even though Henry doesn't act very welcoming.

"It's got nothing to do with you, I promise. He's angry with me and James because we didn't try to save our marriage."

"Yeah, but I was part of the reason you didn't," Blaine whispers back.

"But they don't know that. All they know is that James and I fell out of love and decided to call it quits as long as we were still on good terms."

Before they can say more on the subject, they reach the Patterson's car and he and Blaine squeeze into the back with Lexy.

"James called," Edith tells them once they are en route to the London suburb where James' parents live. "He's coming here instead of flying to New York on Monday so he can see Alexandra and he said he tried to reach you but your phone was off."

"Daddy James?" Lexy asks and Kurt nods.

"Yay," his daughter replies and Kurt smiles at her, grateful that everything worked out so well after his divorce last year.

"How long has it been since she's seen him?" Edith asks in that tone she always uses when she talks about her son and her granddaughter and Kurt winces when he responds.

"Five weeks, but three of them are my fault because first she stayed in Ohio for two weeks with my parents and then we went to Italy."

"I'll have another talk with my son," Edith declares and no matter what Kurt says, she doesn't believe that James usually is pretty good about spending time with his daughter these days.

At the Patterson's home, Henry takes Lexy upstairs to show her the room she'll be staying in while he and Blaine are in France, leaving them alone with Edith.

"What time does your train leave tomorrow?" she asks from the kitchen while Kurt and Blaine wait for their tea on the living room sofa.

"Four o'clock," Kurt replies. "We decided to take a later one when I saw that it takes less than two and a half hours to get to Paris. At least this way, we can go into the city and look up the apartment and the theater."

Edith joins them moments later and serves them black tea with milk to Kurt's chagrin because he's never been a fan of this particular drink.

"You should stay with us for the night then. Henry or I can drive you to Cockfosters tomorrow where you can take the Piccadilly line straight to Piccadilly Circus and you'll be around in case Alexandra has trouble sleeping in a strange house," Edith offers and Kurt looks at Blaine for help.

After all, they booked a hotel close to the train station because they thought it'd be too awkward to ask the Pattersons if they could spend the night.

"That's nice of you, but we don't want to impose. But I could go to London and Kurt could stay here," Blaine replies hesitantly but luckily, Edith doesn't like Blaine's plan just like Kurt's not a fan of it.

"Nonsense, Henry will get over it and we've actually turned Billy's room into a guest room a while ago because he tends to sleep in James' room when he's visiting. It's about time we actually have guests for the guest room."

When Blaine looks at her questioningly, Edith points at a picture over the fireplace.

"Billy's our youngest. He just graduated from Oxford with a master's degree in Chemistry," she explains, obviously proud of her son's accomplishments. "I've told him to visit some time this week because he's only see his niece once so far."

While they wait for Henry and Lexy to return, he and Blaine show Edith pictures of their Italy trip, promising to email her the ones containing her granddaughter. Once everyone is back in the living room, Kurt offers Edith his help in the kitchen, leaving Blaine with Henry and Lexy, because it would be rude if both of them hid from his disapproving former father-in-law. And well, Blaine's charming and people tend to like him even if they only spend very little time with him.

Blaine doesn't disappoint and by the time he and Edith serve dinner, a smiling Henry is trying to explain the rules of Cricket to a much more relaxed Blaine who simultaneously is helping Lexy build a tower with a her Lego blocks.

Because it does appear to be what's best for Lexy, he and Blaine spend the night at the Patterson's after all, though Kurt spends the night with his daughter while Blaine sleeps in the guest room because they know how Henry feels about all this. The next morning, he and Blaine spend nearly an hour saying goodbye to Lexy, sharing hugs and kisses and promising her that they are only a phone call away and that should she miss them too much, they'd come back for her in a heart beat, because no vacation is more important than her. Though when she hears that people eat snails in France – and Kurt slams his hand over Blaine's mouth when he wants to interject that Kurt tried some in Italy – she tells them she's glad she gets to stay in England.

Though Henry has warmed up to them, Edith drives them to the tube station, helping them with purchasing tickets and explaining how to get to their apartment and the theater from Piccadilly Circus.

"Thank you," Kurt tells her before they leave. "It's really nice of you to watch her so we can have a grown up vacation. I'll skype you tonight once we get to our hotel."

Edith kisses both of them on their cheeks before she heads back to the car and he and Blaine get onto a train to Central London. Once they get off at Piccadilly Circus, Kurt's happy to discover that like New York, London is a free wifi city and instead of having to rely on Edith directions he can just enter the address of their new apartment into google maps.

"I love it," Kurt declares when he discovers that their temporary home is in a side street off Carnaby Street, a pedestrian area filled with shops Kurt can actually see himself shopping at.

"Wait till I take you to Harrods," Blaine laughs before he takes Kurt's hand and leads him toward the theater district.

"What is it called again?" Kurt asks when they return to Piccadilly Circus and are faced with multiple theaters advertising their shows.

"Prince of Wales Theater," Blaine replies, turning in a circle as well.

Kurt's the first to spot it and when he does, he actually laughs out loud because of how fitting it is.

"What?" Blaine asks until he follows Kurt's line of sight. "Oh, didn't you do this show before 'Ace'?"

Kurt nods before he takes Blaine's hand and pulls him toward the theater.

"We should try to get tickets before it closes," he decides, because even though he'd only performed his understudy role four times, _Book of Mormon_ was his first Broadway engagement and Kurt will never forget how happy he'd been to be part of that show.

[PICTURE]

Inside the theater, Kurt approaches a young woman working the ticket office.

"Hi there, I'd like two tickets for _Book of Mormon_, some time next week if possible."

"You're in luck. The show closes in two weeks but I still have tickets for September 12. And if you're in town for Christmas, you should check out the show that's opening here in December. It's a new Broadway show and we'll even have one of the original Broadway cast members in our production."

Behind him, Blaine sniggers and Kurt stomps on his foot to make him stop.

"I'm guessing you don't have posters for this new show yet, right?" he asks the girl who looks at them like they're nothing but a pair of crazy American tourists.

"No, I'm sorry. But if you check our website in October, there should be more information on the show. It's called _Ace_..."

"… _of Spades,"_ Blaine interrupts her, apparently having decided to put the girl out of her misery. "We know about the show and we probably should have opened with this, but I'm Blaine Anderson and he's Kurt Hummel, the original Broadway cast member starring in the London production."

The young girl turns bright red. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I didn't know. Would you like to take a tour of the theater? I could call someone to show you around and I'm sure I can get you free tickets for whenever you want."

Kurt definitely wants to tour the theater soon and meet the cast if possible, but there's no way he won't be paying for his ticket because when he was a student and Broadway tickets were something he had to save for, he had hated it when people who could easily afford even the most expensive categories got their tickets for free just because they were famous or because they knew someone in the production.

"That's nice of you, but we're going to Paris today. But maybe someone could show us around the theater on the 12th when we come here for the show? How much do I owe you for those tickets by the way?"

After assuring the young girl once more that she shouldn't be embarrassed about not knowing who they are immediately, he and Blaine spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the area around the theater for decent restaurants and coffee shops before taking the tube to King's cross.

They had decided to take a train to Paris instead of a plane because Kurt was curious about taking a train that ran under the ocean and because after Blaine had researched how much time they would spend getting to and from the airport in addition to actual flight time, it became clear that the train was actually the faster options.

Once on board the train, they buy two glasses of champagne.

"To ten days of just the two of us," Kurt raises his glass in a toast. "To ten days of having no responsibilities and being able to do whatever we want."

"To us," Blaine agrees and clinks his glass against Kurt's.

**_September 2023_**

This is how their three day trip to Paris can be summarized: Sex, food, wine, sightseeing, shopping, more sex, more food, more wine, more sightseeing and more shopping. And on the third and final day: Sex, food and wine, followed by sex, a nap and more sex.

Their week touring the Côte d'Azur isn't too different from their stay in Paris. During the day, they visit beach resorts, swim in the ocean and sample the local cusine, while their nights are spent worshipping each other's bodies and drinking delicious French wine by the bottle after ending their nightly skype calls with Lexy. All too soon the ten days are over however and Kurt and Blaine rather reluctantly board a plane to London.

"I'm going to miss the freedom we had this week," Blaine admits, once their plane is in the air. "But I would miss Lexy more and I can't wait to get her from her grandparents and move into our new apartment with her."

"I know what you mean," Kurt assures him. "I loved both the trips, the one we shared with her and the one that was just for us, but I think we needed the second one more. It think we need to put our relationship first from time to time if we want to make it in the long run because James and I never did, first because of his job and then because of his job and Lexy and I don't want what happened with me James to happen to us. So I think we need to make sure there's always a balance and that we still have time for just the two of us as a couple."

"We do have a set of grandparents for the next year that lives pretty close compared to what we are used to, so maybe we should take advantage of them and go away from time to time, take day trips on your days off."

"Sounds good," Kurt agrees and briefly presses his lips to Blaine's. "And though I can't believe it's happening already, we'll have more time to ourselves once Lexy starts pre-school on Monday."

**_December 2023_**

**_Two Americans in London – 'Ace of Spades' debuts on West End to rave reviews_**

_'__Ace of Spades', B.D. Anderson's second Broadway musical opened at the Price of Wales Theater on Friday, December 8, 2023, to a sold out crowd, some fans having cued for hours the previous day for lottery tickets to the latest Broadway smash hit. After the second show we met with the show creator and original Broadway cast member Kurt Hummel. To those that have read the program (see end of article) it won't come as a surprise to hear that the young actor has found more in 'Ace of Spades' than just fame, as the two confirm what apparently is an open secret on Broadway. Blaine D. Anderson and Kurt Hummel are a couple and Kurt's the reason why Blaine was in London for 'Ace of Spades' West End premiere._

_WE: Kurt, you've played this role before, first in previews off Broadway and then on Broadway for more than a year. How does it feel to reprise it here in London?_

_KH: I was ecstatic when I got the offer because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to a role that means so much to me. I know many people don't understand why I took London up on the offer after I had done the show on Broadway and off 472 times, but I love everything about it - the music, the role, the story – and when I realized that going on tour with a toddler just wasn't a good idea, I was really happy when I heard from London. And while I miss my cast mates, we have a fantastic cast here, and I'm blown away daily by all the talent we have in our show._

_WE: Blaine, you aren't here in any official capacity but we have heard that you're going to stay in London while Kurt performs here. What are your next plans?_

_BDA: I'm writing the music for a movie, but I can't tell you more about this at the moment. I spend time with our daughter when Kurt's at the theater and I've started working on a new musical with one of my idols, so I've been flying out to New York quite a bit lately._

_WE: And I'll come back to the cutie in a minute but before, tell us how you'll celebrate Christmas this year. Kurt, you said that family is very important to you, but I also know that you are expected to perform during the Christmas holidays. So how we'll you deal with that._

_KH: Our families are coming to London for Christmas because as you said, family is important for both of us. They all have tickets to the show because they insisted they wanted to see it again and afterward we'll do what we always do for Christmas, just in different country._

_BDA: I'm so excited about Christmas because my brother and his girlfriend had a baby in August and while I've met my niece, our daughter hasn't had the chance to meet her new cousin yet and I so I can't wait to make that happen when my whole family comes out here for the holidays._

_WE: So I guess you're not the only one in your family who has a kid but isn't married. You have a beautiful daughter together, 3-year-old Alexandra, but you aren't actually married as many of your fans assumed. Now, I don't know much about the United States, but I thought same-sex couples with children benefited from marriage._

_KH: They do, but I had my daughter with my ex-husband so she's protected through my first marriage and although legally speaking she isn't Blaine's, we've made sure that the law would have to recognize him as her parent in case of an emergency or just, you know, school related things or being allowed to travel with her without getting my written permission._

_WE: Your daughter sounds like a very lucky girl. And because your fans would lynch me if I didn't ask – are there maybe wedding bells in your future then?_

_BDA: We've only been dating for a little over a year at this point and he hasn't asked yet, but neither of us feels like we need a marriage certificate to validate our relationship. But I can promise Kurt's fans, that should it ever happen, we'll let them know._

_WE: Thanks for meeting with me._

_Here are Kurt and Blaine's bios for all of you who haven't had the chance to see the show yet:_

_[photo] & [photo]_

**_AN: _**Pictures can be viewed on AO3 in this chapter. Next up is the epilogue. If after the story is finished, there are still things you want to read about in this universe, please let me know.


	18. Epilogue

**_EPILOGUE_**

**_September 2026_**

"Daddy, my dress itches," Lexy complains as Kurt straightens his tie for the umpteenth time. This isn't even his first wedding, so why is he so nervous?

"I'm sorry sweetie, but if you want to be a flower girl with your cousin Sarah you have to wear the dress. At least until the ceremony is over, okay?"

Lexy huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Sarah is a baby. She's only three."

Kurt sighs because Lexy changes her mind about whether she wants to be a big sister or not almost daily. To get her used to the idea (especially because he and Blaine are planning to let their families know after the wedding that their surrogate is pregnant) they have tasked her with watching over Cooper's three-year-old daughter Sarah during the wedding.

"Everything okay here?" his dad pokes his head through the door.

"_Your granddaughter_ hates the dress she helped pick out," Kurt informs Burt, who has the audacity to laugh.

"She's your daughter through and through."

Kurt mimics Lexy's posture and crosses his arms over his chest as well.

"Was there something you wanted, Dad?"

His dad readjusts a flower in Lexy's hair before he looks around the room. They'd agreed to get ready at Cooper's apartment because it's closer to the venue and has more space than their Upper West Side apartment they'll be moving out of soon so Lexy won't have to share a room with her new brother or sister.

"James wanted to know if Lexy is all packed so they can leave right after dinner." Kurt nods.

"Her passport, wallet and toys are in her backpack and I left enough space in her suitcase so grandma Edith can take her shopping."

To ensure that he and Blaine can go on a proper honeymoon, James had asked if he and his boyfriend of two years, Todd, could take Lexy to see her British grandparents. Kurt had readily agreed after Blaine had shown him pictures of Mauritius and because he'd never keep his daughter from seeing her other grandparents.

"Are you excited to go back to London?" Burt asks Lexy while Kurt rechecks her luggage to make sure they haven't forgotten anything.

"Yes!" Lexy squeals. "Daddy James and Todd promised to take me to Madam Tussaud's and Buckingham Palace and Harrods and the tower and the London Eye and the Harry Potter train station."

"Wow," Burt stops her. "Now I'm really jealous. You sure I can't hide in your suitcase?"

Lexy shakes her head emphatically.

"You're way too big, dummy," she tells her grandfather sagely and Kurt barely contains his laughter.

"Oh, well, but then you have to promise to tell me everything about it when we see you for Thanksgiving. I'm sure grandma Carole would love to hear about all your adventures as well."

"Okay," Lexy promises before she pulls at her dress again.

"Is it time to get yet?" Kurt whines and after checking his watch he decides that it's indeed time to go.

"Can you take her luggage with you and Carole?" he asks his dad who nods.

Relieved, he takes Lexy by the hand and leads her into Cooper's living room where most of the rest of the Hummel-Anderson families are waiting.

"Sweetie, can you tell your Papa that he has to hurry up if he wants to marry me," he instructs his daughter, who runs off to get Blaine.

After observing all traditions the first time around and still ending up divorced, he and Blaine had agreed to make their own traditions such as riding to the venue together with Lexy.

Blaine looks incredibly handsome in his black tuxedo, his curls lightly tamed with gel for the occasion, as he approaches Kurt, Lexy in tow.

"What do I hear about you threatening to leave me at the metaphorical altar after it took us this long to decide to get married," he jokes before kissing Kurt gently.

"Gross, Daddy," Lexy exclaims, drawing all eyes to them.

"Save that for after he's said yes, kiddo," his dad teases while Lexy makes a show of hiding her face behind her hands.

Truth is, if they hadn't decided to have another baby, they probably wouldn't have gotten married at all. (Even though gay marriage was legalized in all fifty states the previous year) But most surrogates they had met through the agency had been hesitant to work with an unmarried couple and so Blaine had popped the question six months ago after another rejection. Brittany had donated one of her eggs so their kids would be biologically related even with Blaine as the father, but had declined being their surrogate again, because she wanted to have a baby of her own soon.

Now at thirty-three, most of his friends have young kids or are pregnant with their first child like his best friends Rachel and Mercedes who coincidentally told him their news on the same day, just from opposite coasts. It's also the reason why Mercedes is going to miss his wedding, because at nine months pregnant her doctor hadn't cleared her to fly. Rachel, eight months pregnant, did agree to come to the wedding, but refused to put her heavily pregnant body into a groomsmaids' dress.

The biggest surprise to some of Kurt's friends (the ones he doesn't see at least once a week) was his choice of best man. Hell, if someone had told him six years ago that Jesse St. James would be his best man one day, he would have had them committed. But he and Jesse had bonded during rehearsals for 'Ace of Spades' and their subsequent Broadway run together, and somehow Rachel's husband had become one of his closest male friends after he and Blaine had gotten together.

"For your information," Blaine interrupts his musings, "I only took so long because I was on the phone with Sophia."

Kurt quickly pulls Blaine into Cooper's bedroom followed by shouts of 'save it for later' from Cooper and his equally crazy girlfriends Terry.

"Is everything okay?" he asks once a door is between them and their families.

"Everything's fine, honey. She just wanted to make sure she had the right email address because her first ultrasound is when we're on honeymoon and she wants to email us the pictures."

Of course they found the one surrogate who saw how committed he and Blaine are to each other even without a marriage certificate after they'd already paid the venue and told all their family and friends about the date. And because neither of them was against marriage per se, they'd decided to just go ahead with their plans and get married after all.

"That's so sweet; I hated that we were gonna miss the first one."

They kiss briefly until Lexy bangs on the door and informs them that everyone's leaving.

Together with their daughter, he and Blaine pile into the waiting town car, Lexy finally having stopped complaining about her dress. They're getting married at the New York Public Library because he'd fallen in love with the idea when Rachel and Mercedes had forced him to watch the first of the 'Sex and the City' movies with them back in high school.

"When you're married, will my name be Hummel-Anderson too?" Lexy asks out of the blue as the car makes its way downtown.

When Kurt and Blaine had talked about hyphenating their last names before the wedding, he'd also talked to James about how he'd feel about Lexy taking Blaine's last name as well.

"She was always more your daughter than mine and even before we were divorced Blaine spent more time with her than I did. He's been the one helping you raise her these past four years, so no, I don't have a problem with it, " James had told him to Kurt's relief.

""Well, if you have nothing against it," Kurt humors her, "we'll all be the Hummel-Anderson family after the wedding."

Lexy thinks it over for a moment.

"Will my new brother or sister's name be Hummel-Anderson too?" Kurt nods.

"Then I want to also," she decides and Kurt shares a look with Blaine, as if to tell him, kids, so easy to manipulate.

"Alright then future Ms. Hummel-Anderson, you remember what you have to do when we get there?"

"Make sure Sarah doesn't run away and throw the flowers on the floor," Lexy recounts.

"Very good," Kurt tells her. "You're going to make such a great flower girl."

"And if you want to know a secret," Blaine leans in, "you're going to be so much better than Sarah because you are a big girl."

Lexy swivels around in her seat and glares at Kurt.

"See Daddy, Papa thinks Sarah is a baby too."

Kurt just rolls his eyes at Blaine and Lexy's antics. It's hard to believe seeing Blaine like this that Kurt is marrying a seven times Tony Award winner. At least his own two won't ever be lonely if everything goes as planned this time around.

* * *

><p>Not one eye stays dry when Lexy pretty much drags Sarah down the aisle while she throws the flowers from her bucket in the air. Only, those are tears of suppressed laughter that Kurt spies on the faces of friends and family as his dad accompanies him down the makeshift aisle. Blaine is walking next to him, accompanied by his own dad, Jack.<p>

Upfront, Jesse and Kurt's groomsmaids Santana and Brittany are standing on the right side of their officiate while Blaine's best man Nick and groomsmen Cooper and Blaine's cousin Tom are standing on her left side.

"Dear family and friends, welcome to the wedding of Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel who have invited you all today to witness the beginning of their journey as husbands," the officiate greets the room.

From the corner of his eye, he sees his dad wrangle Lexy back in his lap, who seems to take her role as Sarah's 'temporary guardian' a little too serious as she tries to get back to her cousin who's perched on Terry's lap on the other side of the aisle, seated with Blaine's family.

"And welcome Alexandra Hummel," the officiate acknowledges Kurt's daughter who immediately stops fidgeting, "who is keeping her dads' rings until it's time for them to exchange them."

It had been Blaine's idea to involve her this much in case Lexy wasn't happy about the wedding. Parental bribery so to speak. But he needn't have worried because while Lexy seems to have trouble making up her mind about her new sibling, she'd been ecstatic when she'd found out her Daddy and Papa were getting married because all her friends' parents were married.

"Blaine and Kurt have prepared their own vows, so please, Kurt, tell Blaine how you feel about him."

Kurt takes a deep breath and thanks the lord he doesn't believe in that everyone in attendance already knows his story, his daughter included. He takes Blaine's hands into his own.

"Blaine. When we met I didn't know yet that something was missing in my life and that this something would be your love. We were both with other people but from the moment that we met, I knew you were special and that I needed you in my life, no matter in what capacity. I know it was harder for you than it was for me because you didn't just have to fall in love with me, you had to fall in love with our daughter too. The day I knew I could call her our daughter from now on, you made me the happiest man alive and ever since you've been an amazing partner and great father to her. I love you with all my heart and I'm so grateful you fell in love with me and Lexy as well. To quote your favorite artist from your youth: 'You're my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete.'"

Kurt wipes away a tear from Blaine's cheek and only barely refrains from kissing him in the middle of the ceremony.

"It's okay," he whispers, getting a little chocked up himself, even though Blaine hasn't even started yet.

"Kurt. When we met I told you that all I wanted out of my twenties was to party, have fun and travel. I didn't think I could still have that if I gave us a chance, so I'm incredibly thankful that you proved me wrong every day of my life for the past four years. A party isn't a party without you there, I've never had as much fun as I have with you and Lexy, and travelling without the two of you has become dull and boring. The two of you changed my life and I firmly believe you changed it for the better. I count myself so lucky that I didn't have to spend years looking for the right one, but that I met the right one as early in my life as I did. I'll be eternally grateful to your best man Jesse, who brought us together in the first place, and to all my friends who called me an idiot for not giving us a chance for as long as I did. And I'm thankful for our daughter who made me fall in love with her fast and deeply so that staying away wasn't an option any longer. You and Lexy you complete me, and I don't care if I'm copying you, but you were my missing puzzle pieces and with you I'm complete."

It's Kurt's turn to wipe the tears from his eyes but when Lexy runs up to them for a hug there's no stopping them anymore.

"Lexy, sweetheart, can you give uncle Cooper and uncle Jesse the rings," he whispers into her now dark blond hair and when the officiate starts again, they keep Lexy right next to them.

"Kurt Elias Hummel, do you take Blaine Devon Anderson to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, whether you're rich or poor till death do you part?"

Kurt nods enthusiastically. "I do."

"And do you Blaine Devon Anderson take Kurt Elias Hummel to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, whether you're rich or poor till death do you part?"

"I do," Blaine exclaims loudly and Lexy adds just as loudly, "I do too", causing everyone to laugh.

Kurt then takes Blaine's wedding ring from Jesse.

"With this ring, I thee wed," he whispers as he pushes it onto Blaine's ring finger.

Blaine repeats the sentiment before pushing Burt's first wedding ring onto Kurt's ring finger.

His dad hadn't offered it the first time Kurt had gotten married and so Kurt knows that having it now is the highest form of approval his dad could have given Blaine.

"By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now declare you legally married. You may kiss your groom."

The hall erupts in applause as Kurt and Blaine share a passionate kiss, Lexy wedged between them and being forced to watch her parents' 'gross' behavior. But she doesn't say a word and just smiles up at them; smiles that smile that made them both fall in love with her.

"I didn't think I'd ever do this again," he whispers into Blaine's ear as the cameras click around them.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad we did," Blaine whispers back before they follow their families into the banquet hall a floor down.

His new husband stops him on the stairs and puts a hand on Lexy's shoulder to keep her from running after her grandparents.

"A picture of the happy family for your fans," he suggests and Kurt agrees because without the fans the Hummel-Andersons wouldn't have as many prizes as they have.

_ BDAnderson: KurtEHummel Sharing the best day of my life with my two favorite people in the world [instagram link]_

"You two are my favorite people as well," Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek. "Ready to tell our families about the new addition to our family?"

Blaine nods and together they walk down the staircase, Lexy swinging between them.

* * *

><p>Waiters are clearing their plates, when Burt gets up and clinks his fork against his champagne glass, causing everyone to stop talking and look to their table.<p>

"I'll keep it short," his dad promises, "because I know there will more speeches and the boys have some kind of announcement as well, which they have refused to tell me about till now," he adds with a glare in Kurt's direction.

The hall erupts in laughter.

"Obviously, I wasn't thrilled when Kurt came to me about divorcing his first husband. Mainly, because I was worried about his future and what it would mean for my granddaughter. Most of you know that Carole is my second wife, because we were unlucky enough to lose our first spouses. But it was a joyous day, when we finally, officially joined our two families. When I met Blaine, even before the boys were dating, I thought, well, if he makes my son only half as happy as Carole made me, I don't have to worry about him anymore. Now, after having had the pleasure of seeing Kurt and Blaine together for the past four years, I can honestly say that my son found his Carole and like me, he's a very lucky man.

To Kurt and Blaine. May Kurt's second marriage be as happy as my marriages to his mom and Carole. And may Blaine never want a second one."

"Of course not," Blaine exclaims loudly, already a bit tipsy from the champagne they had before entrees were served.

There's more laughter as Kurt turns to Burt.

"Thanks, Dad!" he smiles through tears, because he is a very lucky man indeed.

The best men speeches are next and Kurt's grateful for Carole when she covers Lexy's ears through parts of them, because there are things their six year old doesn't have to know about her fathers.

And then it's Blaine's father's turn. Jack had been nothing but supporting from the moment Kurt met him, but he knows that it hadn't always been this way; that when Blaine was young, he thought his father would never come to his wedding.

"So, um, hi, I'm Jack, Blaine's dad," his father-in-law introduces himself.

"I want to be honest with you. When Blaine came out to us when he was only fourteen, I thought he'd never have this one day. I didn't think gay men could have a family and because I didn't want my son to lead a lonely life, I tried to set him up with girls so he could get married and have kids one day. Fortunately, my wife Susan nipped that in the butt straight away and Blaine and I grew much closer once I stopped trying to change him. But I still mourned the grandchildren I thought I would never have, because my oldest told me he'll never settle down and Blaine, well. As you probably know, both of my sons proved me wrong.

The day my son told me about his new friend Kurt, who had a husband and a daughter, I felt hope for the first time, that Blaine could have it all after all. Back when Blaine was all Kurt this and Kurt that, I never thought I would be a grandpa to another man's child, but boy am I glad that my son and Kurt found a way to be together, because Lexy and Sarah are the best granddaughters a grandfather could wish for.

So thank you, Kurt, for joining our family and making me realize that biology is never as important as I thought and showing me that there are more important things that make a family a family.

So to Kurt and Blaine. And to family."

Blaine squeezes his hand briefly before he pushes his chair back and hugs his father tightly. There are tears in both men's eyes and Kurt pulls Lexy back when she wants to be part of the hug as well.

"Let Papa and grandpa have a moment," he whispers into her ear and his daughter actually listens and stays seated in his lap until Blaine lets go off his dad and opens his arms for her.

The picture of Lexy wedged between Blaine and Jack will be his favorite until another member of the Hummel-Andersons will complete their family.

Kurt looks away when his phone alerts him to a new text.

_Todd and I are in the foyer. Is Lexy ready to go? – James_

_Give us another five minutes. If you're hungry and you don't think it would be weird, come upstairs. There's plenty of food left. – Kurt_

_It's okay. We just had lunch around the corner. – James_

He turns to Blaine when his husband sits down again.

"James and Todd are downstairs. Let's make our announcement before we take Lexy downstairs."

Blaine nods and pulls Kurt to his feet.

"Before we cut the cake and have our first dance, Kurt and I would like to say a few things. First of all, thank you all for coming. This day wouldn't be the same without our friends and family here. And thanks to Miranda from the New York Public Library. Without her help we probably wouldn't have been able to get married here. And now, Lexy, sweetheart, would you like to tell everyone our news."

It's not how they had planned it, but Kurt has to agree that it's a great idea.

"I'm gonna be a big sister," Lexy climbs onto her chair and pretty much yells out their well kept secret.

Before anyone can comment on their news, Kurt quickly adds, "we're very happy to tell you that in 7 ½ months Blaine and I are welcoming our second child. You can all congratulate us in a bit," he winks, "but first Blaine and I have to make sure our daughter doesn't miss her flight to London."

While Lexy says goodbye to Susan and Jack, Kurt and Blaine promise to answer all their questions as soon as they are back. Because his daughter has to say goodbye to every single person she knows, it's another ten minutes before he, Blaine, Lexy, and Burt and Carole, who have her luggage in their rental car, climb down the stairs and meet up with James and Todd.

Kurt watches as his daughter first hugs James and then Todd, but she seems just as comfortable with them as she has every other time his ex and James's boyfriend have taken her out.

While Blaine, James and Burt get Lexy's luggage from the car, he and Carole make small talk with Todd, who is an investment banker just like his ex-husband. Kurt, personally, finds him a bit boring, but according to his daughter he's always nice to her when she's with James at his and Todd's apartment. And that's all that matters to him.

"We're all set," James tells him when Kurt's dad, Kurt's husband and Kurt's ex-husband come back inside. "You have all my numbers and we have the number of your hotel in case your phone doesn't work. Check your e-mails before you leave 'cause I emailed you our flight numbers and just so you know, I won't be mad if you call her school to make sure she's really back in class come next Friday."

Well, Kurt never doubted that, because James is not the kind of ex-husband who'd run off with their kid the first chance he got, because that would imply that James actually wanted to be a fulltime dad. And they both know that's not true. It's probably why James and Todd get along so well, because neither really wants kids.

"Call me before take off," he settles on, because while they'd been on vacations without their daughter, Lexy had never spent this much time with her other father before.

"Of course."

Then it's time to say goodbye to Lexy, and while she's excited to go back to London, finally old enough to experience things she'd been too young for when they lived there, she clings to him longer than usual, and Kurt has to fight back a few tears of his own.

"It's just ten days," he assures her, "and when we see each other again, we'll find out whether you're going to get a little sister or a little brother."

"I want a sister," Lexy reminds him, and Kurt doesn't have it in him to tell her again that that's not how it works.

"I know, but whatever happens, I know you're going to be an amazing big sister."

There are more tears when she hugs Blaine goodbye, but when James reminds them that they have to get going, she goes with Kurt's ex willingly.

"I hope we mad the right decision," he confides in Blaine as they watch James and Todd drive off with Lexy.

"They're going to stay with Henry and Edith, so even if things are awkward with James, at least she'll have her grandparents," Blaine reminds him and Kurt nods.

After all, they've had this conversation before; multiple times since James had approached them about taking care of Lexy while they went on their honeymoon.

"I know. Let's go back upstairs – I think I really need a big piece of cake right now and I really want to dance with my husband," Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand, before they follow Burt and Carole.

Upstairs, the party is in full swing, thought fortunately no one is dancing yet, because they both really want to be the ones who have the first dance. After cutting their cake and feeding forkfuls to each other, Kurt takes Blaine's hand and pulls him onto the makeshift dance floor. Taking their cue from them, the band starts playing an acoustic version of 'Come What May', and Kurt sings along softly as he and Blaine share their first dance as a married couples.

He makes sure to smile at their wedding videographer as Blaine spins him, before dipping his husband and following up with a passionate kiss, that earns them a 'wanky' from Santana.

They dance until their feet hurt, before returning to their table and refilling their glasses with more champagne. Kurt's not looking forward to boarding a plan to Mauritius with a hangover, but as far is he is concerned, this is his last wedding, and he plans to celebrate accordingly. He's just glad they'd agreed not to leave for their honeymoon the day of their wedding.

"So tell me about that new baby of yours," his dad ambushes them as soon as they're seated again and the Andersons lean in closer as well.

"Okay," Kurt laughs. "Sophia, that's our surrogate, is due mid March. We'll find out about the sex in about three weeks. Blaine's the bio dad and Brittany donated her eggs so our kids will be biologically related. Not that it matters, but she offered when she declined to be our surrogate again, and it seemed easier than finding a stranger to donate to us. We're also going to move into a new apartment once we're back from our honeymoon, because it wouldn't be fair to Lexy to ask her to share her room with a baby who won't sleep through the night for some time. Our real estate agent found one close to our old one, but even closer to Central Park. It's a four bedroom apartment, so Blaine can finally have his music room again, and I will take time off of work for a year once the baby is born."

"Can you just do that?" Burt asks. "Aren't you already missing two episodes because of your honeymoon?" Kurt leans in closer.

"Okay. You're not allowed to tell anyone about this, but they're cancelling my show. The second season will be our final one. But you know what; I'm thirty-three. I'm really getting too old to play college freshmen."

After their return from London, Kurt had been cast in a musical comedy about performing arts students, which had been well received during the first couple of episodes, but ratings had dropped throughout the rest of the season. When Kurt had gone back to work two months ago, the cast had been informed that the network was cancelling the show after its second season. At this point, Kurt had just learned that Sophia was pregnant, so he was relieved in a way, because just like with Lexy, he wanted to stay home with the new baby for at least the first ten months.

"I never really understood why you signed on anyway," Carole interjects. "Don't get me wrong, I really like it, actually, but you never seemed interested in TV before."

"It meant that I got to be home with Lexy most nights and I liked that could still do what I love while having more time for my family. But I'm ready to go back to Broadway once our new baby is older."

"And I have the perfect role for you," Blaine kisses his cheek.

Kurt hadn't been a part of Blaine's latest musical, because he decided that a TV show would be better for Lexy, but he'd heard the music Blaine was working on at the moment, and if it was in any way possible for him, he wanted to be part of it; especially knowing that Blaine was writing a role just for him.

They spend another half hour talking to their respective parents, before they drag their aching feet back out onto the dance floor, taking turns dancing with their friends, before coming back to one another once more.

It's close to midnight when they finally leave the venue, glad that they managed to finish packing the day before, as neither of them is sober anymore. Though Kurt had dreamed about wedding night sex, he and Blaine just pass out next to one another and the next morning consists of rushing to the airport, both hiding their eyes behind sunglasses. Not because Kurt doesn't want to be recognized by possible fans, but because his head is pounding.

"Thanks for booking first class," Kurt groans as they board the plane, because there's no way he'll survive a long distance flight wedged between strangers with how he's feeling.

Just before they take off, Blaine digs two Aspirin tablets out of his bag, and Kurt kisses him deeply.

"Best husband ever!"

* * *

><p>The moment their luggage is delivered to their condo and Blaine's dug out a tip, Kurt slams the door shut and pretty much drags his husband to their bedroom, unbuttoning Blaine's shirt as he walks backward, trying not to bump into anything. The view of the ocean is breathtaking, but as far as Kurt's concerned, it can wait. They have a marriage to consummate.<p>

"I take it you're feeling better," Blaine teases when Kurt falls backward onto the bed, taking Blaine with him.

"Even if I still had a headache, I couldn't wait any longer," Kurt whispers, before sucking softly on Blaine's earlobe.

Blaine's response is immediate – just as always – and before long they're both bare, kissing and touching every inch of skin they can reach.

"Do you think married sex really is better," Kurt pants as Blaine sucks a hickey just below Kurt's collarbone. His husband looks up from underneath his long eyelashes.

"Only one way to find out."

Once he has Blaine panting and moaning underneath him, his husband's ankles digging into the small of his back and their kissing nothing more than panting into each other's mouths, Kurt briefly shifts so he can whisper into Blaine's ear once more.

"I love you. And I don't think you could ever make me happier; married or not."

**_December 2026_**

"I met with James today," Blaine confesses after Kurt returns from a long day of filming.

Lexy is in bed already because Kurt had a night shoot, and he wonders briefly when his husband had time to meet with his ex.

"We got coffee before I picked Lexy up from school," Blaine answers the unasked question.

"Why?"

He knows that James and Blaine get along, but he can't think of a reason why the two of them would want to meet outside of anything related to Lexy.

"So okay, I know we only talked about it once before the wedding and we never talked to James about it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I called him and we met."

Kurt's hands start to shake, because if Blaine's talking about what they briefly discussed then this is huge.

"Did you ask him?" Blaine nods.

"I did, and honey, he's okay with it. He's going to let me adopt her as soon as we have the papers drawn up."

Tears well up in Kurt's eyes but they are tears of happiness. Because even though he never really doubted that James would agree, he had been too afraid to ask.

"She's really going to be ours – officially," he sniffles, before hauling Blaine in for a kiss, desperate and with little finesse. "It's all I ever wanted since you agreed to be mine."

"And now no one will ever be able to come between us again. I'll finally be her father, officially," Blaine agrees with tears in his eyes as well.

They may have had their problems from time to time, when Kurt had accused Blaine of not being as committed as he had promised to be during their time in London, but after agreeing to marry him, this was the ultimate commitment. Not that it had been an issue in a long time, but now he would definitely never doubt Blaine's desire to be Lexy's father ever again.

**_March 2027_**

The universe works in a funny way, Kurt thinks, as he, Blaine and Lexy rush into the hospital, exactly five years to the day Kurt first confessed his feelings to Blaine and got rejected. Sophia had called them an hour ago to tell them that her water had broken nearly two weeks before her due date and after a heated discussion with one of the producers of his show, Kurt had left the set to meet up with Blaine and their daughter at the hospital.

"Hi, we're the Hummel-Andersons and we're looking for Sophia Morega," Blaine tells the nurse on duty and fortunately, unlike the last time Kurt had been in this position, he and Blaine are told the room number immediately.

He and Blaine take turns staying with Lexy while the other sits next to Sophia while she's prepped for her C-section and once she's whisked away, he and Blaine cuddle up in the waiting room with their nearly seven year old.

"Why are they cutting the baby out of her belly? You told me babies come from girl parts," Lexy asks while they are waiting for the doctor to tell them the news. Kurt sighs.

Like the curious six year old she was, his daughter had wanted to know how the baby would get out of Sophia's tummy. They'd tried to tell her about the stork, but Lexy hadn't bought it, because why would Sophia need to get big if a bird was going to drop off her sibling? After asking their parents for advice, they had sat her down and tried to explain the whole baby thing as best as they could. C-sections hadn't been part of that discussion for obvious reasons.

"Because sometimes it's easier this way," Blaine tells her and Kurt's tempted to add a, 'we'll tell you more when you're older', but that has never been a good idea in the past.

"Okay," Lexy replies and for a moment it looks like she has more questions but then Blaine hands her his iPad and for the next half hour she's distracted by her favorite game.

Finally, a doctor dressed in scrubs comes up to them.

"Everything went well. Your daughter is being cleaned up as we speak and a nurse should come by shortly and take you to her."

Lexy drops the iPad immediately.

"I'm a big sister?"

"Yes, you are," Kurt smiles at her. "Thank you, doctor."

The wait for the nurse is torturous, but once Sophia had told them that she wanted to deliver the baby via C-section, they had decided to wait in the waiting room together, because neither of them wanted to abandon their daughter during the wait. Finally, a middle-aged nurse approaches them with a smile on her face.

"Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson?"

They both nod before the three of them follow the nurse down another hallway.

"Do you have a name for the birth certificate?"

He and Blaine share a look before his husband nods. Lexy had gotten his mother's middle name as her middle name, but Blaine had agreed immediately when Kurt had told him that he wanted to use his mother's first name for their second daughter's middle name.

"Grace Elisabeth," they say in unison.

And then they finally get to meet her. Perfect just like Lexy. And even though they had the perfect little family for more than four years, Kurt feels like his life is finally complete. With him, Blaine, Lexy and their new baby daughter.

[photo of baby] - you can see Grace on AO3

**FIN**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited or just joined me and the boys on this journey. When I started this story for NaNo I was afraid I would never make it to the 50 000 words goal and I barely did, but once I knew people were actually liking my story it was so much easier to finish it. So thank you all for reading! I loved writing this little story about love and second chances.

If you want to see something else in this little universe, please leave me a prompt. I'd be happy to write more :)

And if you wanna check out my attempt to write an alternative season 6, I'd be happy as well ;)


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